DayTrader

Out of curiosity ER, how much does he charge for his new "miracle cure?"

One of the many lines I hated in the AA book talks about what a great obsession it is for every abnormal drinker to, one day, be able to drink normally. That certainly was true for me prior to getting truly and honestly engaged in the recovery process. I have a history of doing almost anything to find the easiest softest way to get what I want. This guy's obviously smart and, like any successful yet shady salesman, he prays on peoples deep dark secrets for profit. By contrast, the folks who started AA, RR, and AVRT (and probably most of the other recovery programs that have had some success) pretty-much gave the whole deal away. They do what they do because it works.....and they want other ppl's lives to be changed for the good.......not because they're looking for a payoff.

There are 2 old sayings that seem to apply....although they're opposites.
1. The best things in life are free (things like health, love, happiness, serenity.....they can't be bought with money).
2. Nothing worth having comes for free. (not necessarily referring to monetarily free...the suggestion is that the BEST in life usually requires some work).

As much as I love the idea of being able to buy serenity, happiness, the destruction of my alcoholism, a wonderful job, a happy marriage.......etc etc etc, experience tells me that things of this nature can't usually be purchased.

Somewhere, deep down in my conscious or subconscious, it was very apparent to me that sobriety of any quality wasn't something I could get for free......it was going to take some. And it hurt my feelings to know that...it bothered me. I loooove the easy way out - love it.

Well, having taken the "I'll do the work route," I can tell you......for me.......doing what little work I did WAS the easiest way out available. I had to put in some legwork.....I had to pay a "price," if you know what I mean.

Then again, for me and many like me .....alcohol was problem, for sure......but it wasn't THE source of my problems. I could look back and tell you I didn't feel 100% fabulous on the days I DIDN'T drink. My head still spun, I still worried about how my future was going to pan out, I still hated myself for my past (and for what I just knew my future would probably be too, for that matter), I didn't really know how to have deep meaningful relationships with more than a couple people, I was always jealous of the folks who had more stuff than me.....on and on. So, in a case like mine, alcohol helped mask all that other stuff. And yanno, social drinking doesn't hide anything. Social drinking means you stop just before it really starts to work on all that other stuff.

So, no thanks. I'd rather not drink that drink right up to the point where it's going to start "working" and stop. And besides......once I really gave recovery a legit shot...I found the life I'd been searching for all along. My life is better now working a recovery program than it would ever be if I could drink socially (or just stay dry) and work NO program.

I found the softest easiest way....and it's recovery.

........and finally, this guy has no clue what living a recovered life is like. Believe me, if it was just "capping a volcano" AA wouldn't have survived the past 75 years without there being millions of stories of how terrible it was.

*edit: If you're an alcoholic of my type, then just willing yourself into sobriety won't work.....so, depending upon what type of alcoholic you are (assuming, of course, that you ARE an alcoholic) and depending upon what you're doing about it.......it's possible that his concrete on a volcano analogy is accurate..... but neither he nor anyone here would know that without some serious conversations with you.

artsoul

There are lots of counselors, doctors, and apparently other "professionals" who just have no clue when it comes to alcoholism/addiction. Guess that's why the "one-alcoholic-helping-another" has been the best approach so far......

Alcoholic is toxic and has no nutrients - I figure even if we could be hypnotized to have one drink a night, why would we?

wellwisher

Daytrader - well said. Many times people speak of bottoms in the terms of losses - relationships, money, cars, homes, etc. I suffered many of those as well, but there were underlying feelings and issues that I was burying. I had such a seething anger, a feeling of isolation, shame; I lived waiting for the other shoe to drop; constant fear. I was like a snapping junkyard dog, so filled with pain and resentment, and it was these FEELINGS that got me working toward sobriety. I couldn't take it anymore. That was my bottom. As to the "material" bottom, I had such a low self esteem that they didn't impact me as much because deep down I felt like I got exactly what I deserved.

For me, recovery meant I had to stop drinking, clear my mind and deal with obsession for drink, and continue working on issues. I was alcohol dependent. It certainly required work and thankfully, I found it through inpatient rehab and in working with counselors, which led me to the AA program and am most especially thankful to those that succeeded in achieving lasting sobriety. The best counselors I had were those that found recovery themselves. Had I not done that, I think the balance of my life would have been miserable; still ranting and raging at the stars, feeling like I don't deserve, relying on self-serving "superior" intellect in order to protect myself, and just beating myself up for the rest of my life. I think maybe I'd be doing a little drinking, too. That is no life to live.

Like any other industry, one can find the yo-yo's in our search for recovery. It's true everywhere you look, and cottage industry always pops up around a successful model. They market it to differentiate themselves from tried and true models. They sell answers in books. They buy infomercial time. That's business. IMO English Rose came face to face with one. The BEST defense from these creeps is to get educated about alcoholism. For some, moderation works if they haven't crossed the line. What EnglishRose's yo-yo did was try to pitch something that she did not want, and even pursued her in a subsequent call. What a jerk. I would have booked the time and let him sit there waiting for me (haha - does that violate program?)

That's why I think it is fantastic that this forum exists. They weren't around when I got sober; nor were there very many options then. There is an opportunity to educate on this forum, and to do so in the most positive light.

Thanks, EnglishRose, for this thread.

Supercrew

I'm not saying your hypnotherapist isn't a con man, but hypnotherapy is suprisingly successful when it comes to addictions. II would agree that the goal is to never drink again, and I lost the obsession to drink alcohol by changing my subconscious and changing my thinking towards alcohol.

Hypnotherapy can produce results in changing your subconscious. To paint alcohol addiction as something completly different than any other addiction is short sighted in my opinion. I know it works for some people.

Englishrose70

First of all THANK YOU EVERYONE for your valuable thoughts and insight as ever. Some very interesting points made and I made the call and cancelled the appointment.

Daytrader, he was going to charge £70 for a 50 minute session, I think thats about $60???

Superscrew I am very supportive of hypnotherapy. It helped me no end when my marriage broke up. I told this guy my objective was to disassociate completely with alcohol or as you say working on my subconscious change my thinking towards alcohol.

However, with this particular guys method, the objective he said he would achieve with was to have me socially drinking again, even getting trolleyed on New Years Eve (his words) but with the ability to just give up again. He had not listened to me when I said I dont want to drink at all.

I dont want to be "trolleyed" again, whether in control or not and surely when you are "trolleyed" you are everything but in control.

Just got the wrong practitioner for me thats all, I am not dissing hypnotherapy per se, I agree with you, can be very valuable tool

Supercrew

No worries ER! And only my wife calls me "Super Screw".

BennyHill

Englishrose,

What a story, and what a tosser that "practitioner" is!
Glad you came out of this sober and able to laugh about it!

He probably has some luxury hotels in Scunthorpe for sale as well!!!!