Head spin - he told me I was just capping a volcano!
Englishrose70
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 190
Head spin - he told me I was just capping a volcano!
AAAAGGGHH! A bit annoyed with myself, you know that saying if it aint broke dont fix it?
Well, I will be 30 days tomorrow and I can tell you 30 days ago when I began this journey, I reckon climbing Everest seemed more realistic.
With a thirst for exploring all manner of ways to support my new found sobriety, Hypnotherapy has been bobbing around in my head.
I rang a highly reputable CBT/Hypnothery practictioner today. I told him that I had almost done 30 days without a drink, with the support of SR (wonderful, wonderful) and some online reading material (courtesy of you fab guys!) and the support of my husband.
No comment.
He then went on to talking about the subconscious mind and how it plays a major part in our addictive behaviours etc, all seemed to make sense to me.
I said my objective was to disasscociate my brain from any of the "positive conotations/thoughts/memories" I have about alcohol as an aid to my continuing abstinence.
He then dropped a bombshell on me. "oh abstinence is not necessary, after 8 sessions with me you will be able to pick up a drink and put down after one or put down after 4 or getting totally smashed at a wedding or in fact choose not to drink at all"
WHAT? IT WASNT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR, I DONT WANT TO DRINK AGAIN. I DONT BELIEVE YOU MY HEAD WAS SCREAMING
He continued..........."the reality is you WILL be in total control of your choices at any point in time, you will NEVER be dependent again"
RED FLAG DANGER, EVERY ALARM POSSIBLE GOING OFF IN MY HEAD, WHY THE HELL DID I MAKE THIS CALL?
The conversation ended I am not sure how.
1 minute later he called me back.
"By the way I forgot to mention, although your 30 days of abstinence is admirable, it is important to point out that the method you are using is only like pouring concrete into a volcano. The molten lava "the problem" is bubbling away below and will explode out of the sides, the top, everywhere, it could be catastrophic - let me help you!"
Well I am no idiot, drink problem yeah, but I am bright, intelligent and can sense a flaky practitioner with £ signs in his eyes any day of the week BUT I AM VULNERABLE AND THIS HAS TOTALLY ROCKED ME
Any thoughts guys? Any similar experiences?
Just needed to share this with you and again, if any of you guys are doing good just as you are, take a leaf from me, dont try and fix what aint broken
Well, I will be 30 days tomorrow and I can tell you 30 days ago when I began this journey, I reckon climbing Everest seemed more realistic.
With a thirst for exploring all manner of ways to support my new found sobriety, Hypnotherapy has been bobbing around in my head.
I rang a highly reputable CBT/Hypnothery practictioner today. I told him that I had almost done 30 days without a drink, with the support of SR (wonderful, wonderful) and some online reading material (courtesy of you fab guys!) and the support of my husband.
No comment.
He then went on to talking about the subconscious mind and how it plays a major part in our addictive behaviours etc, all seemed to make sense to me.
I said my objective was to disasscociate my brain from any of the "positive conotations/thoughts/memories" I have about alcohol as an aid to my continuing abstinence.
He then dropped a bombshell on me. "oh abstinence is not necessary, after 8 sessions with me you will be able to pick up a drink and put down after one or put down after 4 or getting totally smashed at a wedding or in fact choose not to drink at all"
WHAT? IT WASNT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR, I DONT WANT TO DRINK AGAIN. I DONT BELIEVE YOU MY HEAD WAS SCREAMING
He continued..........."the reality is you WILL be in total control of your choices at any point in time, you will NEVER be dependent again"
RED FLAG DANGER, EVERY ALARM POSSIBLE GOING OFF IN MY HEAD, WHY THE HELL DID I MAKE THIS CALL?
The conversation ended I am not sure how.
1 minute later he called me back.
"By the way I forgot to mention, although your 30 days of abstinence is admirable, it is important to point out that the method you are using is only like pouring concrete into a volcano. The molten lava "the problem" is bubbling away below and will explode out of the sides, the top, everywhere, it could be catastrophic - let me help you!"
Well I am no idiot, drink problem yeah, but I am bright, intelligent and can sense a flaky practitioner with £ signs in his eyes any day of the week BUT I AM VULNERABLE AND THIS HAS TOTALLY ROCKED ME
Any thoughts guys? Any similar experiences?
Just needed to share this with you and again, if any of you guys are doing good just as you are, take a leaf from me, dont try and fix what aint broken
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
There are snake skin oil sales people everywhere for everything. I wouldn't put much credence in anyone who says they have the magic bullet. I once went to a shrink who was an ex-drill instructor who guaranteed he could cure my PTSD in a few sessions. Of course when he started to fall asleep in ome of them I took the hint. You done good on your days, don't let anyone rock your reality.
Englishrose70
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 190
Fitz, how brilliant it was to see you had replied to me! I view you as the wise owl of SR, you always say the most encouraging things and the best of it is, I know its all born from your own experience and battles and for that I have nothing but ultimate respect for all your words of wisdom.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: WV
Posts: 83
It's a miracle that any of us have made it this far in life with out this man's assistance! ; )
Seriously though, I'm all for getting support, but your instincts are right on the money. He's a con man, & not a very good one from the sounds of it. Hmm, maybe that was his diabolical plan, if he made you a mental wreck, you would have been a long term repeat customer for him (I'm kidding, I think). It definitely sounds like he would have sabotaged your sobriety instead of helping it.
Seriously though, I'm all for getting support, but your instincts are right on the money. He's a con man, & not a very good one from the sounds of it. Hmm, maybe that was his diabolical plan, if he made you a mental wreck, you would have been a long term repeat customer for him (I'm kidding, I think). It definitely sounds like he would have sabotaged your sobriety instead of helping it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Rose....
You absolutely know continueing your sobriety is vital to your wel being.
I'd not be returning his calls that is for sure.
Forward we go side by side
You absolutely know continueing your sobriety is vital to your wel being.
I'd not be returning his calls that is for sure.
Forward we go side by side
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
You know what would be a great way to make a business curing addicts? To sell them on the idea that they don't have to quit their addictions (but that everything will be so much better!)
That is the ultimate addict fantasy. I don't know anyone with an addiction who went from using with no concerns to being totally ready for total abstinence. Maybe it happens to some, but all I know have wanted that perfect middle ground. And the experience of most addicts I know is that there is no middle ground, you use with bad consequences or you quit entirely.
I am open to the idea that maybe someday science could find a "cure" for addiction that enables one to go back to moderate use. However, if any person really had a perfect working formula for that, they'd be national spokespersons, far too rich or prominent to be working with you or I in some clinic.
Don't let them throw you. There are people who desire to be miracle workers. There are pure charlatans and snake oil salespeople. The one's to watch out for are those who tell you that you're in danger unless you take their advice straight up without consideration. That is a charlatan's way--sales by scaring the customer silly.
Find you a respectable recovery place. A place like AA, or may other great alternatives, should not be feeding you the "if you don't do this now you're a volcano that's going to explode!!!! OMG RUN TO YOUR CHECKBOOK!!!" It's going to be a process that takes time (not sessions) and the best of our science/experience teach that there is no middle ground for an addict.
Don't let them scare you. Recovery is scary enough on its own, but find those of us who are going to teach you to be less afraid, not scare you with molten lava.
That is the ultimate addict fantasy. I don't know anyone with an addiction who went from using with no concerns to being totally ready for total abstinence. Maybe it happens to some, but all I know have wanted that perfect middle ground. And the experience of most addicts I know is that there is no middle ground, you use with bad consequences or you quit entirely.
I am open to the idea that maybe someday science could find a "cure" for addiction that enables one to go back to moderate use. However, if any person really had a perfect working formula for that, they'd be national spokespersons, far too rich or prominent to be working with you or I in some clinic.
Don't let them throw you. There are people who desire to be miracle workers. There are pure charlatans and snake oil salespeople. The one's to watch out for are those who tell you that you're in danger unless you take their advice straight up without consideration. That is a charlatan's way--sales by scaring the customer silly.
Find you a respectable recovery place. A place like AA, or may other great alternatives, should not be feeding you the "if you don't do this now you're a volcano that's going to explode!!!! OMG RUN TO YOUR CHECKBOOK!!!" It's going to be a process that takes time (not sessions) and the best of our science/experience teach that there is no middle ground for an addict.
Don't let them scare you. Recovery is scary enough on its own, but find those of us who are going to teach you to be less afraid, not scare you with molten lava.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Englishrose, well... it's pretty obvious the guy's bank account and pockets are going to be lined with the money he rakes in appealing to an addict's desires to use his/her drug again. Forget the guy 
The bigger issue though is "to drink" or "not to drink" again. That really is the question! And that's a hard one. I hesitated to respond to your post. I've committed myself to lifelong abstinence, permanent abstinence. But I won't lie and say the question of drinking again doesn't cross my mind. If I were to continue with my commitment to never drink, I do believe I'd do just that... never drink again. I know without a doubt.
But I won't say that it isn't possible that I won't someday decide to change my mind about this. It IS possible. But, I think the power lies in the present moment where I know and decide that it's best for me NOT to drink. And I can't really see that changing later on. It certainly is possible that I'll decide I can drink 1 or 2 at some later date. But, from past performance and behavior, it's just not a good idea. Not to mention I probably consumed enough alcohol for 500 people moderating stretched out across a lifetime. Healthwise alone, it doesn't make sense either.
I do understand your frustration at dialing up some guy who you think is going to help and he just throws out something to you that flies in the face of everything you're about now and attempting to do. Ack!!!
Stick with your gut... you DO know what's best. And you do know what's been working for you
The bigger issue though is "to drink" or "not to drink" again. That really is the question! And that's a hard one. I hesitated to respond to your post. I've committed myself to lifelong abstinence, permanent abstinence. But I won't lie and say the question of drinking again doesn't cross my mind. If I were to continue with my commitment to never drink, I do believe I'd do just that... never drink again. I know without a doubt.
But I won't say that it isn't possible that I won't someday decide to change my mind about this. It IS possible. But, I think the power lies in the present moment where I know and decide that it's best for me NOT to drink. And I can't really see that changing later on. It certainly is possible that I'll decide I can drink 1 or 2 at some later date. But, from past performance and behavior, it's just not a good idea. Not to mention I probably consumed enough alcohol for 500 people moderating stretched out across a lifetime. Healthwise alone, it doesn't make sense either.
I do understand your frustration at dialing up some guy who you think is going to help and he just throws out something to you that flies in the face of everything you're about now and attempting to do. Ack!!!
Stick with your gut... you DO know what's best. And you do know what's been working for you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
It's a miracle that any of us have made it this far in life with out this man's assistance! ; )
So for you, Mad4Chaos, I have such a deal. Its my patented hypnotherapy boot camp guaranteed to drown out whatever ails you. Act now and I'll include a second recovery absolutely free (postage & handling not included).
So for you, Mad4Chaos, I have such a deal. Its my patented hypnotherapy boot camp guaranteed to drown out whatever ails you. Act now and I'll include a second recovery absolutely free (postage & handling not included).
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Englishrose70 
He then dropped a bombshell on me. "oh abstinence is not necessary, after 8 sessions with me you will be able to pick up a drink and put down after one or put down after 4 or getting totally smashed at a wedding or in fact choose not to drink at all"
Englishrose70
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 190
I do understand your frustration at dialing up some guy who you think is going to help and he just throws out something to you that flies in the face of everything you're about now and attempting to do. Ack!!!
Stick with your gut... you DO know what's best. And you do know what's been working for you[/QUOTE]
Thanks Jennie.
You are right though, thats the bit that really threw me, it was a curved ball I wasnt expecting, ah well lesson learnt and I am sure there will be plenty more curved balls to dodge in the future cos thats life eh?
Stick with your gut... you DO know what's best. And you do know what's been working for you
[/QUOTE]Thanks Jennie.
You are right though, thats the bit that really threw me, it was a curved ball I wasnt expecting, ah well lesson learnt and I am sure there will be plenty more curved balls to dodge in the future cos thats life eh?
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by MycoolFitz
It's a miracle that any of us have made it this far in life with out this man's assistance! ; )
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
Wow, the nerve of that guy! Obviously you are not going to see him but is the idea of hypnotherapy completely out now?
I stated in another thread I used it for my eating disorder and while it worked, I almost immediately started my heavy drinking after that. lol, gotta cope with crap somehow I guess haha. I was just curious how it would work for drinking.
I stated in another thread I used it for my eating disorder and while it worked, I almost immediately started my heavy drinking after that. lol, gotta cope with crap somehow I guess haha. I was just curious how it would work for drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Regardless of whether total abstinence is necessary to recover from alcoholism... And most feel that it is... No matter if you follow AA's program, AVRT, Passages of Malibu, and all the individual programs... There are not many who proclaim success in the whole moderation scheme... But no matter...
You wanted to work towards a peaceful state of complete abstinence and you told him that. He did not respect that. He does not have your stated goal in mind, he has his own goal in mind... that is that he can cure you... And you can drink normally again.
Well, find another... One who listens to YOU!!!
You wanted to work towards a peaceful state of complete abstinence and you told him that. He did not respect that. He does not have your stated goal in mind, he has his own goal in mind... that is that he can cure you... And you can drink normally again.
Well, find another... One who listens to YOU!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: in this vessel
Posts: 304
Maybe this hypno guy is a bit misunderstood. Who's to say anything is for except you.
Between what I think, what I want to say, what I believe I'm saying, What I say, What you want to hear, What you hear, What you believe you understand, What you want to understand and what you understood, There are at least 9 possibilities for misunderstanding.
-Francois Garagnon
I feel like I get the intended outcome. I used to have indifference towards alcohol. Why can't the indifference be regained? It feels exhausting, to me, to fear alcohol or always be plagued by the urge to fight it.
Between what I think, what I want to say, what I believe I'm saying, What I say, What you want to hear, What you hear, What you believe you understand, What you want to understand and what you understood, There are at least 9 possibilities for misunderstanding.
-Francois Garagnon
I feel like I get the intended outcome. I used to have indifference towards alcohol. Why can't the indifference be regained? It feels exhausting, to me, to fear alcohol or always be plagued by the urge to fight it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I feel like I get the intended outcome. I used to have indifference towards alcohol. Why can't the indifference be regained? It feels exhausting, to me, to fear alcohol or always be plagued by the urge to fight it.
I could never do it.
I think for some of us, we cross a line, and once we cross that line, there is no going back - ever.
You may decide differently but for me, to recover, I had to accept that.
I'm at peace with that acceptance and that decision - I don't fear alcohol, and I have no need to fight anything
D
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