checkmate1

I'm feeling good these days. I'm at 101 days sober today. Never did i think that I would be in that position today. I know I'm an alcoholic, I know I'm not a normal drinker I know that I can't moderate. I've been to AA meetings the last couple of weeks, I post on SR. I don't associate with the same heavy drinkers. I know I need to stay sober and can't pick up one drink. My anxiety has improved dramatically, I've lost weight (9kg). I hate this disease and it will kill. I've started driving again. I have my independence back. I think clearly and think and act rationally. I feel in the best of health ever. I have more money. I have read the Rational Recovery book. My relationship with my friends and parents are its strongest ever. I'm on the right medications.

Why do I feel frustrated? Why do I feel such a strong urge to drink now? Why now? I've put the hard yards in and feel weak now and I don't know why? Almost satisfied about sobriety that the hard times are over when I know if I pick up a single drink I would be back to misery I was living in.

What I do know is that this feeling will pass. What I'm feeling now is not permanent. I will not pick up a drink. Maybe because my life is going so well I feel some need to **** it up again I have no idea what is going on.

CarolD

I'm glad you have so many items on your gratitude list so quickly

Just a guess...maybe you miss the drama and chaos?
It took me awhile to settle into the not drinking woman I became....

MycoolFitz

I think our brain gets bored and likes to play tricks on us--you screwed with me, now I'll screw with you. I have an ex-girlfriend from some time back who really messed me over but I sometimes catch myself wondering about her and getting nostalgic--what's up with that? Obviosly I'm better off without her and happier but... Obviously you're better off without the booze but...Hey as long as you're aware of the tricks being played, know the consequences of giving in and don't pick up, you're the winner. These thoughts come and go but we keep moving on.

Opivotal

If i remember correctly ....I was going along fine for the first 90 days. Around the same time as you, I started getting the urges back. It was temporary and I moved on. Alcohol is incessant ...trying to trick you back into drinking. Use your support system and keep up the good work.

Congratulations on 101 Days!





Best Wishes To You!

Boleo

In my case, calendar days did not remove the urge to drink, action did.

sugarbear1

Where were you when you were 101 days drunk? Emotionally...

How many years did you spend drinking?

Time takes time.
You didnt get that drunk over night, can't cure it over night.