Stripped Bare
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Western USA
Posts: 46
Stripped Bare
A major use of alcohol on my part is for keeping my various mental defects in check. The phobias, complexes, etc that i've been cursed with. Lately, i've been getting rather nervous about not having anything to keep them back. I liken it to being skinned alive and having red hot pokers tormenting you.
Rare is the day that i don't have something adversly affect me. Whenever i get upset, the bottle isn't too far away. Since unavoidable triggers on a daily basis are what i deal with, i sometimes can barely hold it together long enough to get a few drinks in me to help calm down to a reasonable point.
Now in just a little over a month, i'm going to lose a major form of defense.
Even as i post this, i'm thinking about the situation and a feeling of absolute dread is coming on.
My experiences with the Psychiatric community haven't been all that good. I was once involuntarily commited and basically manipulated the doctors into letting me go after less than two weeks. Another wasn't prepared to handle what i told him when he asked what was the worst thing that bothered me at the time. I didn't like him so i unloaded the core of my hatred and that spooked him enough to give up on me. I also entertained myself once by twisting a mere social worker to the point that i made her admit that she wasn't qualified to deal with someone like me.
I really wish i could check into a hospital but my HMO doesn't cover it.
Anyone sober have similar problems?
Rare is the day that i don't have something adversly affect me. Whenever i get upset, the bottle isn't too far away. Since unavoidable triggers on a daily basis are what i deal with, i sometimes can barely hold it together long enough to get a few drinks in me to help calm down to a reasonable point.
Now in just a little over a month, i'm going to lose a major form of defense.
Even as i post this, i'm thinking about the situation and a feeling of absolute dread is coming on. My experiences with the Psychiatric community haven't been all that good. I was once involuntarily commited and basically manipulated the doctors into letting me go after less than two weeks. Another wasn't prepared to handle what i told him when he asked what was the worst thing that bothered me at the time. I didn't like him so i unloaded the core of my hatred and that spooked him enough to give up on me. I also entertained myself once by twisting a mere social worker to the point that i made her admit that she wasn't qualified to deal with someone like me.
I really wish i could check into a hospital but my HMO doesn't cover it.
Anyone sober have similar problems?
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Maybe if you seek out some form of therapy on your own it might be a much better experience. Seems to me that one has to be a willing participant in the process for it to get the best results. 
And the more you want to do it the more you'll get out of it.
It has certainly helped me not only to quit but also to ride out the big wave of psychological problems that revealed themselves once I did quit.
I did find though that it took some patience finding the right people to help. Finding a good fit takes a bit of time but is worth it in the long run.
And the more you want to do it the more you'll get out of it. It has certainly helped me not only to quit but also to ride out the big wave of psychological problems that revealed themselves once I did quit.
I did find though that it took some patience finding the right people to help. Finding a good fit takes a bit of time but is worth it in the long run.
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