My names John I am a alcoholic 1st thread
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: wales uk
Posts: 1
My names John I am a alcoholic 1st thread
Hello Today is my 90th day of sobriety . I have been in and out of the rooms of aa since November 2005 , surpassing 90 days a couple of times in that period , but never going longer than 5 months continued abstinence.
The first time I remember drinking regulaurly I was 14 years old and on holiday with my parents . My father seemed to feel the need to teach me about controlled drinking , at nights i drank a couple of bottles of small beer It didnt strike me as a huge issue at the time . Id drank the odd 1 can of beer or sip of wine as a child but i wasnt a drinker .
My rapid decline was about to commence , more and more of my classmates were going out drinking and aged 15 i took the dip into alcohol abuse .
I bought a couple of bottles of cider and " on instruction" from my peers drank as much as I could as fast as I could . The result was I vommited and humiliated myself , this course of events became the norm and by 16 I was drinking or smoking pot everyday( or nearly everyday) I would also take xtc and speed fairly regulaurly .
In my first year from being a reasonably good pupil id been kicked out of school arrested a couple of times and spent a night in hospital after being knocked out in a fight .
What I saw in this that made me want to continue I,m not sure , I was off the rails kicked out of school then college to failing to hold down jobs , and increasingly unhappy .
Age 17 I decided to join the army I gave up all illegal substances for a few months and seriously cut down my drinking . I took to doing excessive physical excercise wich helped me throughout my adictions , however despite being one of the fittest if not the fittest recruit I didnt enjoy my military experience at all and left after a few weeks feeling humiliated and ashamed emotions Ive know only to well throughout my life .
The rest of my teens I would follow in a sinlaur vein , i, kept up my love for excercise and had several jobs none that lasted more than about 10 weeks , I would mostly binge at weekends at this junctre , I had a whopping capacity , but would suffer terribly with anxiety, paranoia, and depression as a result of my binges , this cycle contiued till the age of about 22 when I headed for Austalia I started drinking more , fewer days i was taking off and more and more anti social I was becoming , occasional hillarity followed more and more humiliation .
A bottle of vodka in the daytime , followed by a evening solid downing drinks in a bar would be fairly standard .
I saw very little of Australia , returning home after a brief spell at my parents I went to live In the south of england more mayhem followed I drank most days but not 24/7 live in ****** bedsits and had run ins with the police .
My next destination after that debacle was Thailand where I drank myself into ill health and experienced much more serious withdrawls , diareah had become the most troubling part of my drinking .
After a 5 month spell in Thailand I headed home , I worked as a security gaurd for a few months and stopped drinking bar the odd drunken night so i could save up and go back again.
After another failed expedition to Asia I joined aa in November 2005 , the first couple of years in aa although My mindset didnt improve much I kept relapsing every few weeks (couple of months ) and although i seemed to becoming a bit more responsible , aged about 27 things went back to **** again I was a chronic relapser heavily in debt , borderline unemployable and largely dependant again on my parents .
I married a Thai girl Em who is still supporting me now and I have a home in chiang mai with her , she suffered as over the first 4 years of my marriage I scammed as much money as possible on credit and loan agencies and squandered it all on drink drugs and prostitutes . Complete and utter hopeless excess .
Im writing this out of my parents living room in a isolated part of rural wales ive had a few dry spells here before where i started to suffer terribly with depression and anxiety .
Today is day 90 Im heading back to my wife in chiang mai next week ,Im hoping to find employment there teaching english again and really looking forward to being in a place I can go to regulaur aa meetings .
Hope this is coherent
recoveringish alcoholic john b
The first time I remember drinking regulaurly I was 14 years old and on holiday with my parents . My father seemed to feel the need to teach me about controlled drinking , at nights i drank a couple of bottles of small beer It didnt strike me as a huge issue at the time . Id drank the odd 1 can of beer or sip of wine as a child but i wasnt a drinker .
My rapid decline was about to commence , more and more of my classmates were going out drinking and aged 15 i took the dip into alcohol abuse .
I bought a couple of bottles of cider and " on instruction" from my peers drank as much as I could as fast as I could . The result was I vommited and humiliated myself , this course of events became the norm and by 16 I was drinking or smoking pot everyday( or nearly everyday) I would also take xtc and speed fairly regulaurly .
In my first year from being a reasonably good pupil id been kicked out of school arrested a couple of times and spent a night in hospital after being knocked out in a fight .
What I saw in this that made me want to continue I,m not sure , I was off the rails kicked out of school then college to failing to hold down jobs , and increasingly unhappy .
Age 17 I decided to join the army I gave up all illegal substances for a few months and seriously cut down my drinking . I took to doing excessive physical excercise wich helped me throughout my adictions , however despite being one of the fittest if not the fittest recruit I didnt enjoy my military experience at all and left after a few weeks feeling humiliated and ashamed emotions Ive know only to well throughout my life .
The rest of my teens I would follow in a sinlaur vein , i, kept up my love for excercise and had several jobs none that lasted more than about 10 weeks , I would mostly binge at weekends at this junctre , I had a whopping capacity , but would suffer terribly with anxiety, paranoia, and depression as a result of my binges , this cycle contiued till the age of about 22 when I headed for Austalia I started drinking more , fewer days i was taking off and more and more anti social I was becoming , occasional hillarity followed more and more humiliation .
A bottle of vodka in the daytime , followed by a evening solid downing drinks in a bar would be fairly standard .
I saw very little of Australia , returning home after a brief spell at my parents I went to live In the south of england more mayhem followed I drank most days but not 24/7 live in ****** bedsits and had run ins with the police .
My next destination after that debacle was Thailand where I drank myself into ill health and experienced much more serious withdrawls , diareah had become the most troubling part of my drinking .
After a 5 month spell in Thailand I headed home , I worked as a security gaurd for a few months and stopped drinking bar the odd drunken night so i could save up and go back again.
After another failed expedition to Asia I joined aa in November 2005 , the first couple of years in aa although My mindset didnt improve much I kept relapsing every few weeks (couple of months ) and although i seemed to becoming a bit more responsible , aged about 27 things went back to **** again I was a chronic relapser heavily in debt , borderline unemployable and largely dependant again on my parents .
I married a Thai girl Em who is still supporting me now and I have a home in chiang mai with her , she suffered as over the first 4 years of my marriage I scammed as much money as possible on credit and loan agencies and squandered it all on drink drugs and prostitutes . Complete and utter hopeless excess .
Im writing this out of my parents living room in a isolated part of rural wales ive had a few dry spells here before where i started to suffer terribly with depression and anxiety .
Today is day 90 Im heading back to my wife in chiang mai next week ,Im hoping to find employment there teaching english again and really looking forward to being in a place I can go to regulaur aa meetings .
Hope this is coherent
recoveringish alcoholic john b
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome.....thanks for joining us....
You did not mention this....but when I began working my Steps I shifted from shakey sobriety into solid recovery..
I know many others who did too...so I do hope you will get busy with Steps quickly....
You did not mention this....but when I began working my Steps I shifted from shakey sobriety into solid recovery..
I know many others who did too...so I do hope you will get busy with Steps quickly....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
to SR. Interesting you titled it as your first thread...keep taking it one day at a time...then when you celebrate more sobriety birthdays you can look back at this first thread and see more change in yourself. Congrats on your sobriety!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Down under
Posts: 84
John, I know that you've been through a long and hard road with alcoholism. I've been in and out of the AA rooms too (since 2010) and never put together more than 74 days of consecutive sobriety. This past year I went back to drinking daily and have been breaking the cycle in dribs and drabs (with 3 or 4 days up at a time) during the past couple of months.
I've had the diarrhea and the unmanageability problems which you, and other alcoholics, relate to.
You are making a new start for yourself. That's what counts. Hearing about your 90 days of sobriety encourages people like me. Be proud of it. You are moving forward and I wish you every success.
Thanks for sharing that. :-)
I've had the diarrhea and the unmanageability problems which you, and other alcoholics, relate to.
You are making a new start for yourself. That's what counts. Hearing about your 90 days of sobriety encourages people like me. Be proud of it. You are moving forward and I wish you every success.
Thanks for sharing that. :-)
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