Justfor1

Well I said Finance & Romance are two big areas that lead some people to relapse. They both are hitting me very hard. I have not hit the bottle yet but I feel I had an emotional relapse. I've been sober since the beginning of the year and the last two days I have been tempted to pick up "just a 6 pack". I might get away with it for one night but within days I'll be hitting the hard booze and then the drugs. I have no idea how to deal with rejection, sadness and even happiness in sobriety. I am almost use to the chaos of of being an alcoholic/addict. I think I have low self esteem yet feel better than everyone at the same time. I don't if that makes sense. I think I chair AA meetings just to feel like a big shot. Anyways I feel like I am hungover today and I didn't even drink.

Soberpotamus

This does make sense... I relate. And unfortunately I'm so new in sobriety, I have no wisdom or experience to share about this This is a tough one for me too...

MycoolFitz

But you do know how not to deal with it. That's huge.

Dee74

That was me for many years too, J41.
I'm glad you're thinking things through nowadays tho.

Have you got people to talk to in AA, a sponsor?

D

artsoul

Sorry you're having some troubles..... At least you know where "just a 6 pack" will lead you, and it's not to a solution for your finances or relationships.

I've had a lot of financial struggles myself for a couple years. Life is tough right now for many people. But if we stay sober, something might happen tomorrow or the next day or next week that will improve our situation and we'll be able to be there to act on an opportunity. You never know!

I'm still learning to deal with my emotions, too, and I have lots of work to do. I'm trying to love myself a little in the meantime, in spite of all my imperfections. It's not easy some days, but it really does help when you can give yourself a break.:day6

Boleo

I can identify with that. In my case, I have no doubt that God wants me sober. That leads me to think that I am special in a positive way.

Yet at the same time - my health, finances and living conditions have never been worse. I know God could fix this if he wanted to. That makes me feel special in a negative way.

"If God likes you, he lets you have stuff. If God loves you, he shows you how to live without stuff"... LOL!

raindancer11

I can really relate to that hungover feeling from emotions. It wipes me out sometimes. I get caught up in how unfair it all is. Finding things, no matter how small, to be grateful for has helped. Taking action has helped even more. I'm new and naive I'm not in AA but chairing meetings doesn't seem to be hot shot role. I feel like the chair can be the student and the group his teacher. If I remember to take this role when I teach kids, it's an entirely different experience.

NYCDoglvr

Oh yes, this is why we drank, in order to not feel emotions. Do you have support, like AA or close friends? It's times like these that are dangerous to go through alone ....

Adisa1101

justfor1,
i can completely relate to this. i relapsed just a few short days ago. i know how it feels when to begin the begin the relapse of the mind. for me its constant thought. justification. and like you said, just so used to to chaos of it all. its a good thing that youre catching yourself in it. youre doing so good whether you believe it or not. believe me, its not worth it. along with feeling the sadness, the guilt can be overwhelming.

SASA

I hear you, we drink to get away to forget, just for 1 night to shut of these thoughts, to shut the brain down and forget. Then the next day the same, forget the problems. The problem is if you forget about them they build up and hunt you. So better take a shuffle and start digging when the hill is small and you can still remove it.