ClosetExtrovert

When I was actively using, I was afraid of everything. Driving in the car was agony. Going to parties and fearing being judged on my appearance. Even going for a boatride was terrifying. Everytime I saw a rock in the water, I'd start shaking and the experience was ruined. At work I was terrified of making mistakes, speaking at meetings, etc.

The other day I was at the pool club. I was walking around in a bathing suit, chatting with new people, saying hi to old friends, and I realized I wasn't afraid anymore. My work is caught up and my boss gave me a big bonus and told me she appreciated my efforts. I can't wait to take the boat out, either. It's really a brand new life.

Alcohol does so many bad things to my head.

And again, I'm reminded how awful it was. My life may not be perfect, but living free is worth any and all effort. The sky is the limit. Because if you can overcome addicition, what can't you do?!

Happy Summer!!!

xxoxox

Wolfy87

It seems that everything is working for you. I'm still early in recovery and I'm still recovering from what alcohol has done to me. Alcohol has made my anxiety much worse than it should be. After all the alcohol left my system, I would feel very anxious and fearful. I still have anxiety issues, but I'm learning to deal with it without alcohol. Drinking has caused so much damage to my system and I forgot to deal with things naturally. I am sure it will be all worth it in the end. I know I can be a strong person, but I still have doubts sometimes.

My parents used to tell me, "stop doubting yourself." I guess I never listened because I turned to alcohol to solve my problems. If I was having a bad day, I would just drink at night to calm my nerves. I forgot how to deal with my problems in a healthy way. Just now, my body is starting to remember, but it is still hard.

CarolD

Thanks for sharing a bit of your new life with us....the benefits of recovery are simply awesome....
For me....they continue to grow and evolve..I really enjoy so many things since I quit.

Zencat

Great post ClosetExtrovert, thank you .

Even letting go of all the effort it takes to live the lie of alcoholism is freeing and worth the non-effort.

I see now without the chains of addiction, progress is coming almost naturally for me .

ClosetExtrovert

Yeah- me, too.

ClosetExtrovert

You're already a strong person if you're in recovery. That's HUGE. PM if you want to
Everything isn't perfect for me, but a lot is good and I focus on that. It's a lifetime away from a few years ago.

24hrsAday

right on.. life is 100% Better than just a few years back.. it just keeps on getting better ODAAT!

tvalerie27

I stumbled across this page Googling "what to do on the weekends instead of drink" ~ I have as long as I can remember been a binge drinker on the weekends partying and now I can't remember the last time I went a day without at least one drink. Don't black out a lot but definately can't stop at just one. I need a new start. I come home to an empty house, I live alone with my 2 cats, don't have many friends in town here, and drinking covers up the lonliness. I've noticed I've lost interest in a lot of my hobbies that I have, nothing seems to intice me that did before. I have about one ounce of vodka left in the bottle (that lasts about 2 weeks, but that doesn't include going out & happy hour with the neighbors). Alcohol has been all I have ever known. My family has always had alcohol at every function and I've watched (and joined) every single member of my family get s*tfaced more than once. Is it possible for me to not give up alcohol entirely and still be able to have a cocktail with friends/family once in a while? I drink more when I'm alone so not keeping alcohol in the house is huge in itself. I guess I'm a closet alcoholic and I lie about my drinking. I'm tired of waking up in the morning feeling like sh*t and not wanting to get out of bed and remembering that I used to be able to work out just about every morning before work. It seems rare when I'm able to do that now. I am depressed I will admit but the alcohol is not helping me ONE bit and thats what I need to work on first. I realize I need to go cold turkey for a while to set me back on the right track~ but does anyone here ever find that once you change your mindset about alcohol you've become a social drinker able to only have 1 or 2 drinks? I don't want to drink by myself anymore.

DayTrader

See, there's this line.....and once you've crossed it (and you won't know where or when that will be - in advance) there's NO going back - ever. I've never heard of anyone who's been able to do it without burning down their life AGAIN. .....and trust me.......we alkies would love nothing more than to prove the whooooooole world wrong. Unfortunately, I've never even heard of anyone going back to drink successfully once they crossed into alcoholism.

#2, I've never been able to change my mindset regarding drinking. I've got 4 sober years under my belt and, to THIS day, I don't "get" having one or two drinks. If I were to go back out.......believe me.........it wouldn't be to have one or two.....unless you're talking about fifths or liters. Why anyone........ANYone.......would ever want a couple beers or a couple drinks......then stop......completely stop.......BEFORE the magic starts to happen.......to me, that's just insanity.

I didn't want to drink alone either........but I did. Didn't want to drink in the AM......but I did sometimes. Didn't want to get loaded neeeearly as many times as I did......but I did. That's the deal with alcoholism.....it goes hand in hand with drinking "against your will." <--- and that, my friend, is why using your willpower (if you're a chronic alcoholic - we can go into that later if you'd like) is if NO USE whatsoever. If my will worked...then it would have worked in the past too......and one things for sure, "my will" to not drink was not very reliable at all. Flipping a quarter was about as reliable.

And finally, please don't mistake "quitting drinking" to be the same as "recovering" or getting "recovered." When I was able to stop.......and "not drink" for a couple days...it felt like pressure was building in my psyche until the littlest thing in the world suddenly became a valid excuse to go tie one on. Getting RECOVERED, however, is completely different..... it involves being completely at ease, not fighting off the booze, not having to avoid booze, not hating life, having fun, enjoying your own company as well as the company of others, not being depressed, and having a wonderfully fulfilling life.........and the thought of "drinking" basically is gone from your mind. And the coolest thing ever.... ANYONE can have all that stuff and it's a simple program of action to get it....so simple that just about anyone could do it.

--welcome to the board.