Possibly Homeless In Sobriety?
Shimmy Shimmy Ya'll
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 5
Possibly Homeless In Sobriety?
All Things Come In God's Time?
I recently had a little over a year of clean time, I had a brief relapse and lost everything, and now I have 4 months clean again. I am living in a halfway house, I've been here for two months now...
I pray every morning that my Higher Power help me get through the day, that's all I ever ask for - help getting through the day. Occasionally I ask my Higher Power to watch over my brother, who I haven't spoken to in 4 months, but I never ask for anything for myself.
I thank my Higher Power every night.
I am on my fourth step, and I am basically in a state of panic, not because of my fourth step, but because I cannot find a job. Now, everyone in the program tells me that I'll get a job "when I'm ready" or I'll get a job "when I'm supposed to have one," or that I'll have a job "in God's time." I'm also constantly told that If I keep praying and doing the next right thing while having faith in my Higher Power that "things will work themselves out."
Well, if things remain the way they are in the next two or three weeks I will be almost 5 months sober and I WILL BE HOMELESS. This is not being melodramatic, this is reality. I cannot even fathom working so diligently for almost 5 months and doing everything as well as I possibly can in my recovery only to be homeless in the end.
I have been on job search for a month now (house rules), and I have put out 25-30 job applications, I have only had 2 interviews and no other calls back. So this is not for a lack of effort that I don't have a job. I'm college educated, have no rap sheet, and I can't even get a job at McDonald's. I don't understand it.
Basically the house director told me that if I don't find a job in the next two weeks he's going to have to ask me to leave.
I'm starting to lose faith in my Higher Power. I pray and pray and pray and do the right things to the best of my ability and nothing is coming from it but stress and potentially sleeping on a park bench or under a bridge sober... I didn't think there would be anything that could drive me to drink, but if this situation comes to fruition I don't know if I could stop myself...
I recently had a little over a year of clean time, I had a brief relapse and lost everything, and now I have 4 months clean again. I am living in a halfway house, I've been here for two months now...
I pray every morning that my Higher Power help me get through the day, that's all I ever ask for - help getting through the day. Occasionally I ask my Higher Power to watch over my brother, who I haven't spoken to in 4 months, but I never ask for anything for myself.
I thank my Higher Power every night.
I am on my fourth step, and I am basically in a state of panic, not because of my fourth step, but because I cannot find a job. Now, everyone in the program tells me that I'll get a job "when I'm ready" or I'll get a job "when I'm supposed to have one," or that I'll have a job "in God's time." I'm also constantly told that If I keep praying and doing the next right thing while having faith in my Higher Power that "things will work themselves out."
Well, if things remain the way they are in the next two or three weeks I will be almost 5 months sober and I WILL BE HOMELESS. This is not being melodramatic, this is reality. I cannot even fathom working so diligently for almost 5 months and doing everything as well as I possibly can in my recovery only to be homeless in the end.
I have been on job search for a month now (house rules), and I have put out 25-30 job applications, I have only had 2 interviews and no other calls back. So this is not for a lack of effort that I don't have a job. I'm college educated, have no rap sheet, and I can't even get a job at McDonald's. I don't understand it.
Basically the house director told me that if I don't find a job in the next two weeks he's going to have to ask me to leave.
I'm starting to lose faith in my Higher Power. I pray and pray and pray and do the right things to the best of my ability and nothing is coming from it but stress and potentially sleeping on a park bench or under a bridge sober... I didn't think there would be anything that could drive me to drink, but if this situation comes to fruition I don't know if I could stop myself...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upper Kolobia
Posts: 153
Keep Coming Back...
I'd tell you how long I've been around, but you'd probably say, "Where the h*** did this f*****g liar come from?"
Twenty years ago, after a "sober geographic" I pulled back into my hometown driving a '79 Dodge with over 200,000 miles on it and everything I owned in a U-Haul behind it...
I had maybe $4-500 in my pocket and no job prospects...
I went to a meeting here, and an old friend whose first meeting I'd been privileged to attend helped me find an apartment--at $150 a month--that afternoon (I'd stayed the first two days at another AA friends house).
Another friend, a treatment pro I'd sponsored, called me and helped me get an interview as an associate counselor (I'd worked in the field before).
I was given a time to go to work and then literally hung out to dry... That's my story of why I won't work treatment anymore, and I'm sticking to it. They're great places to get sober, however, at least many of them are...
A few days later I got the flu... The really bad stuff they talk about; it knocked me down for two weeks, I got up for a weekend and then went back to bed for two more weeks...
Everyone worked with me and was supportive, except my parents who were too busy being drawn into my brother's active disease (he's homeless now).
It all worked out... I've done temporary jobs in recovery, had members help me and had members screw me over, and I got through...
There are always options, and my only advice is forget about looking good during these times and just do what you need to do and remember how the disease distorts your perceptions....
I wish you well...
Twenty years ago, after a "sober geographic" I pulled back into my hometown driving a '79 Dodge with over 200,000 miles on it and everything I owned in a U-Haul behind it...
I had maybe $4-500 in my pocket and no job prospects...
I went to a meeting here, and an old friend whose first meeting I'd been privileged to attend helped me find an apartment--at $150 a month--that afternoon (I'd stayed the first two days at another AA friends house).
Another friend, a treatment pro I'd sponsored, called me and helped me get an interview as an associate counselor (I'd worked in the field before).
I was given a time to go to work and then literally hung out to dry... That's my story of why I won't work treatment anymore, and I'm sticking to it. They're great places to get sober, however, at least many of them are...
A few days later I got the flu... The really bad stuff they talk about; it knocked me down for two weeks, I got up for a weekend and then went back to bed for two more weeks...
Everyone worked with me and was supportive, except my parents who were too busy being drawn into my brother's active disease (he's homeless now).
It all worked out... I've done temporary jobs in recovery, had members help me and had members screw me over, and I got through...
There are always options, and my only advice is forget about looking good during these times and just do what you need to do and remember how the disease distorts your perceptions....
I wish you well...
Sobriety date April 19th 2011
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Salem, VA
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by BoogieDown 
I pray and pray and pray and do the right things to the best of my ability and nothing is coming from it
God=HP whatever that is for you.
This was something I realized well after I "thought" I had taken steps 1-3 and was on step 4. But when you truly deep down take step 3 , it really takes a huge load off alot of those worries and anxiety of the future. Steps 4+ mainly add to that by growing the spiritual step you took in step 3.
For me , My prayers are typically asking for strength to do his will. Even if I don't understand them the events or why I am facing them. To make the decisions that HE would have me make. To follow the path that HE has for me rather than the one I have for me.
To help me get out of my own head and to follow his lead.
So far this has helped me in the serenity by accepting that things don't always go my way. Often what I think I need are mostly what I want are in fact NOT what I need. ( Often this is for security and confidence for the future )
It very well may be that you are meant to leave that home , it may be that you are meant to feel this pressure , it may be that the purpose is to make you stronger and to see you through so that you will realize that you can face ANYTHING that is thrown at you in this world and that you will survive and can come through it..... If only you do the next right thing...
Best wishes , and hopefully you can find serenity during this scary time of unsecured future.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by BoogieDown
I have been on job search for a month now (house rules), and I have put out 25-30 job applications, I have only had 2 interviews and no other calls back. So this is not for a lack of effort that I don't have a job. I'm college educated, have no rap sheet, and I can't even get a job at McDonald's. I don't understand it.
Basically the house director told me that if I don't find a job in the next two weeks he's going to have to ask me to leave.
Basically the house director told me that if I don't find a job in the next two weeks he's going to have to ask me to leave.
This is an extremely difficult job market. It can take many months to find work in this economy, despite education, experience, job search efforts, etc.
I don't know how half way houses work. Are they kicking you out because you have to pay for room and board? Could you go to your local Department of Social Services and file an application for public assistance to help cover the costs until you find a job? If the home does evict you, maybe DSS could help with emergency housing? Are there other housing and/or drug treatment agencies in your community that could provide assistance?
EntertheSticks
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 139
I completely feel for your situation. After I had graduated college in this dire economy it took me almost 2 years to find a career, and frankly it was a commission job. Many people are not ok with commission jobs but my practical advice would be to find something like that as soon as possible. I am not sure the policies of your half way house and if that type of job is acceptable under their standards, but I will tell you that I am an example of someone it has worked out for, and I never thought I would ever make a dime doing it. However... those are the easiest jobs to get hired at because a lot of people are un motivated or give up too easily. People with their backs against the wall tend to produce the best in those types of jobs, and to me it sounds like you are kind of against the wall right now. Also I would suggest sending your resume to many of the free online services and put a strong emphasis on your accomplishments as opposed to your work history. Especially if you have a broken work history (which I assume you do based on your post) employers are turned off by that a lot of the time.
Side note-
Dont really understand the logic of "see my answer in the AA forum".. I support the AA program, but frankly cliche's and answers to overall problems is not the only answer... AA is a tool, but it seems to me the purpose of this forum often gets lost and its easy to just spit cliche's at people and tell them to read the big book. Sometimes people need a kind word, general support, and maybe a sharing of experiences as opposed to "check the big book because I need to feel like I am giving a useful response" Clearly he is in a dire position and the big book is not going to solve ALL his problems, only the spiritual one. I apologize if this violates the rules of the forum (i dont believe it does and dont want to turn the attention away from his situation and divert the subject which is the fear of this post). Also I apologize if you are female, I realize I assumed you were male during the post and am short of time to edit properly.
Side note-
Dont really understand the logic of "see my answer in the AA forum".. I support the AA program, but frankly cliche's and answers to overall problems is not the only answer... AA is a tool, but it seems to me the purpose of this forum often gets lost and its easy to just spit cliche's at people and tell them to read the big book. Sometimes people need a kind word, general support, and maybe a sharing of experiences as opposed to "check the big book because I need to feel like I am giving a useful response" Clearly he is in a dire position and the big book is not going to solve ALL his problems, only the spiritual one. I apologize if this violates the rules of the forum (i dont believe it does and dont want to turn the attention away from his situation and divert the subject which is the fear of this post). Also I apologize if you are female, I realize I assumed you were male during the post and am short of time to edit properly.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
People are saying see 'my answer in the AA forum' because the OP has also posted seeking answers in the 12 step forum 
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...gods-time.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...gods-time.html
D
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
A year ago I was homeless.
And I've been posting here for four years or more.
You can go back through my threads and find them.
The thing that happened FOR me when I finally
let go and let 'it' happen
was that something I'd NEVER have expected ... was able to happen.
I know the terror you're feeling right now.
I know how it hangs over your head like a ball cap pulled down too low.
I know how it jolts you awake in the middle of the night
or freezes you into paralysis right when you need to be making tough decisions.
I lived it.
And more importantly -
I'm living THROUGH it.
I stayed sober.
My sobriety at times... has been the ONLY thing I've had that was MINE.
I feel that you need to make
that kind of commitment to your own progress
and cherish it like I've learned to
and finish that fourth step
even if you have to finish it in your car.
Completing that fourth step
changed me in a real a and permanent way.
I can tell you from excperience that
when we're all tensed and dreading
the inevidable
we are NOT open to what is right in front of us
that is the way out.
I had to get all the way homeless before good things happened.
It was my deepest fear
and through the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous
I was able to face it
walk through it
and come out the other side.
And I don't fear it any longer.
And I've been posting here for four years or more.
You can go back through my threads and find them.
The thing that happened FOR me when I finally
let go and let 'it' happen
was that something I'd NEVER have expected ... was able to happen.
I know the terror you're feeling right now.
I know how it hangs over your head like a ball cap pulled down too low.
I know how it jolts you awake in the middle of the night
or freezes you into paralysis right when you need to be making tough decisions.
I lived it.
And more importantly -
I'm living THROUGH it.
I stayed sober.
My sobriety at times... has been the ONLY thing I've had that was MINE.
I feel that you need to make
that kind of commitment to your own progress
and cherish it like I've learned to
and finish that fourth step
even if you have to finish it in your car.
Completing that fourth step
changed me in a real a and permanent way.
I can tell you from excperience that
when we're all tensed and dreading
the inevidable
we are NOT open to what is right in front of us
that is the way out.
I had to get all the way homeless before good things happened.
It was my deepest fear
and through the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous
I was able to face it
walk through it
and come out the other side.
And I don't fear it any longer.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by barb dwyer
The thing that happened FOR me when I finally
let go and let 'it' happen
was that something I'd NEVER have expected ... was able to happen.
let go and let 'it' happen
was that something I'd NEVER have expected ... was able to happen.
Today, I have less than $1,000 worth of debts and my income has not gone up much. Much of what happened was totally unexpected. It seems like God adjusted the world to suit my income level.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 181
jesus says "ask and you shall recieve"
i believe that when we ask sincerely for our lord to help us out of a difficult circumstance..
he always comes through...i believe that with all my heart.
it says in the bb or twelve steps that when we specify like a greedy child makes a list to santa claus..i want .i want..
god will ignore thoose pleas ..
but if we are honest and truthfull ,he will always respond..
take hope my friend/he will help you find your way.he sees you trying your best and doing the due things...i guarantee you he will not fail you..
so go ahead and ask for you this time...
good luck and keep us posted
i believe that when we ask sincerely for our lord to help us out of a difficult circumstance..
he always comes through...i believe that with all my heart.
it says in the bb or twelve steps that when we specify like a greedy child makes a list to santa claus..i want .i want..
god will ignore thoose pleas ..
but if we are honest and truthfull ,he will always respond..
take hope my friend/he will help you find your way.he sees you trying your best and doing the due things...i guarantee you he will not fail you..
so go ahead and ask for you this time...
good luck and keep us posted
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Having shelter should be the number one priority. When I was homeless I continued to drink/drug to escape my situation. I felt like I had to get drunk to come back to the shelter where it was chaos and violent. Not sure if they have them in your area but maybe try some day labor places?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Posts: 640
wow that must be really hard. Keep looking for a job! It's hard to find a job these days. I know I've applied to McDonalds before and haven't gotten a job and I was like what? I can;t even get a job there, it makes you feel so bad about yourself. I hope you find a job <3 hugs <3
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Enoy
...So far this has helped me in the serenity by accepting that things don't always go my way. Often what I think I need are mostly what I want are in fact NOT what I need. ( Often this is for security and confidence for the future )
It very well may be that you are meant to leave that home , it may be that you are meant to feel this pressure , it may be that the purpose is to make you stronger and to see you through so that you will realize that you can face ANYTHING that is thrown at you in this world and that you will survive and can come through it..... If only you do the next right thing...
It very well may be that you are meant to leave that home , it may be that you are meant to feel this pressure , it may be that the purpose is to make you stronger and to see you through so that you will realize that you can face ANYTHING that is thrown at you in this world and that you will survive and can come through it..... If only you do the next right thing...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...gods-time.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 222
BOOGIE- I just read your post and not the rest of this thread, so take it for what its worth...
The job market is AWFUL, and although that isnt going to pay your bills-dont feel bad. Im a 27 year old college graduate that is enlisting in the Navy because I havent been able to find a job (well I worked a minimum wage laborer job for awhile, but that was the only one in two years-I graduated in 2009).
If you meet the age requirements, and dont have any things that they would Dis Qualify you for...then the military would be something to consider. It is kind of scary signing your life over to the government, but it has its benefits.
Just something to consider.
The job market is AWFUL, and although that isnt going to pay your bills-dont feel bad. Im a 27 year old college graduate that is enlisting in the Navy because I havent been able to find a job (well I worked a minimum wage laborer job for awhile, but that was the only one in two years-I graduated in 2009).
If you meet the age requirements, and dont have any things that they would Dis Qualify you for...then the military would be something to consider. It is kind of scary signing your life over to the government, but it has its benefits.
Just something to consider.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18
Stay the Course
Hi, I'm very sorry to hear that things are going badly for you. I will pray that God intervenes. I also want to add a little encouragement.
You know, when we drink, we convince ourselves that it will help. Unfortunately it only makes the situation worse. Might help alleviate the pain a little and for a little while, but it makes things a lot worse.
Also, don't fill your head with irrational thoughts like, "If things get any worse, I won't be able to help myself." This is not a true statement. I used to think this same way...futile, hopeless, etc.
Like you, I believe in God and my faith has sustained me by giving me hope. I meditate on God's Word that says, "I can do all things through him that strengthens me." When I feel I cannot do it, I refute that thinking with this verse and reassure myself that "I can!" do it because he is there to give me strength.
Blessings and stay the course.
FIH
You know, when we drink, we convince ourselves that it will help. Unfortunately it only makes the situation worse. Might help alleviate the pain a little and for a little while, but it makes things a lot worse.
Also, don't fill your head with irrational thoughts like, "If things get any worse, I won't be able to help myself." This is not a true statement. I used to think this same way...futile, hopeless, etc.
Like you, I believe in God and my faith has sustained me by giving me hope. I meditate on God's Word that says, "I can do all things through him that strengthens me." When I feel I cannot do it, I refute that thinking with this verse and reassure myself that "I can!" do it because he is there to give me strength.
Blessings and stay the course.
FIH
Re: possibly homeless
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