For the bran new to recovery. Save yourself some time. Read
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 456
For the bran new to recovery. Save yourself some time. Read
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
(I only wish I would have read this 2 years ago when I first started trying to deal with my drinking problem.)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 273
I've been struggling with this one as well...I really HATE accepting it...really really really...sometimes I CAN put the bottle down...but 90% of the time I drink til I pass out. I've been trying and trying the past couple years...hurting my engagement by repeatedly relapsing, sometimes lying when I'm super wasted....
I truly am powerless and my life is a mess. I am my own worst enemy daily...its awful.
I truly am powerless and my life is a mess. I am my own worst enemy daily...its awful.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Genjen 
I am my own worst enemy daily...its awful.
I'll tell ya why. IF all the problems in your life were the fault of everyone BUT you.....then you need everyone in your life to change, and change precisely the way you want them to, and to do so possibly to the detriment of themselves and others. --Good luck pulling THAT ONE off, yanno?
If, on the other hand, YOU are the source of all your problems, then only you have to change.
Now don't get me wrong, you don't have to like it but seriously......given a choice: trying to make everyone in your life change vs just you changing - where are the best odds?
---and I hear ya IRTQ. I'll say this though, "willingness" really is a gift. Willingness to listen, willingness to consider alternative ideas, willingness to consider changing, willingness to incorporate change into our lives, etc etc etc.....
Sure, pain can be a great motivator but let's be honest...... we, as a group, can take some serious pain yet remain in delusion. What made "recovery" suddenly make sense and be something I was willing to consider and work for? - I used to say that the pain just got to the point where I wasn't willing to take it anymore.... but my experience shows that I'd been in similar or worse pain dozens of times in my past and did nothing about it. Why was this time different? .... hmmmm, well let's just say I don't make the mistake of taking credit for making the decision all by myself anymore. I believe there was more "God's grace" influencing my getting sober than there was me making the decision to.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by DayTrader
Actually....when I read that..... the thing that hit me wasn't "it's awful" but rather, "how awesome!"
I'll tell ya why. IF all the problems in your life were the fault of everyone BUT you.....then you need everyone in your life to change, and change precisely the way you want them to, and to do so possibly to the detriment of themselves and others. --Good luck pulling THAT ONE off, yanno?
If, on the other hand, YOU are the source of all your problems, then only you have to change.
Now don't get me wrong, you don't have to like it but seriously......given a choice: trying to make everyone in your life change vs just you changing - where are the best odds?
---and I hear ya IRTQ. I'll say this though, "willingness" really is a gift. Willingness to listen, willingness to consider alternative ideas, willingness to consider changing, willingness to incorporate change into our lives, etc etc etc.....
Sure, pain can be a great motivator but let's be honest...... we, as a group, can take some serious pain yet remain in delusion. What made "recovery" suddenly make sense and be something I was willing to consider and work for? - I used to say that the pain just got to the point where I wasn't willing to take it anymore.... but my experience shows that I'd been in similar or worse pain dozens of times in my past and did nothing about it. Why was this time different? .... hmmmm, well let's just say I don't make the mistake of taking credit for making the decision all by myself anymore. I believe there was more "God's grace" influencing my getting sober than there was me making the decision to.
I'll tell ya why. IF all the problems in your life were the fault of everyone BUT you.....then you need everyone in your life to change, and change precisely the way you want them to, and to do so possibly to the detriment of themselves and others. --Good luck pulling THAT ONE off, yanno?
If, on the other hand, YOU are the source of all your problems, then only you have to change.
Now don't get me wrong, you don't have to like it but seriously......given a choice: trying to make everyone in your life change vs just you changing - where are the best odds?
---and I hear ya IRTQ. I'll say this though, "willingness" really is a gift. Willingness to listen, willingness to consider alternative ideas, willingness to consider changing, willingness to incorporate change into our lives, etc etc etc.....
Sure, pain can be a great motivator but let's be honest...... we, as a group, can take some serious pain yet remain in delusion. What made "recovery" suddenly make sense and be something I was willing to consider and work for? - I used to say that the pain just got to the point where I wasn't willing to take it anymore.... but my experience shows that I'd been in similar or worse pain dozens of times in my past and did nothing about it. Why was this time different? .... hmmmm, well let's just say I don't make the mistake of taking credit for making the decision all by myself anymore. I believe there was more "God's grace" influencing my getting sober than there was me making the decision to.
You know EXACTLY where I am at my friend....God's grace is definitely why I am here...my fiance is so frustrated with me right now because I can't seem to just QUIT so we can get married...I keep screwing things up over and over and over by drinking...however my sister sees huge leaps and bounds in my personality...I have been searching pursuing God and more healthy things...just gotta get rid of this lie in my head i keep believing..."Oh go ahead have a drink, just limit yourself, it's ok to veg"...UGH!!!!!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by Genjen
I've been struggling with this one as well...I really HATE accepting it...really really really...sometimes I CAN put the bottle down...but 90% of the time I drink til I pass out. I've been trying and trying the past couple years...hurting my engagement by repeatedly relapsing, sometimes lying when I'm super wasted....
I truly am powerless and my life is a mess. I am my own worst enemy daily...its awful.
I truly am powerless and my life is a mess. I am my own worst enemy daily...its awful.
Anyway though for me the inability to control it refers more to the inability to stop obsessing about it! Stop wanting it. End the day with a soda instead of a drink. I drank every.single.day.
It's that madness that I finally feel free of. And I hope you do soon, too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by SSIL75
I actually could often put it down. It was rare (couple of times a year?) for me to black out or really lose it. I would often drink 2 bottles of wine but over say 6 hours so I wouldn't black out or anything.
Anyway though for me the inability to control it refers more to the inability to stop obsessing about it! Stop wanting it. End the day with a soda instead of a drink. I drank every.single.day.
It's that madness that I finally feel free of. And I hope you do soon, too.
Anyway though for me the inability to control it refers more to the inability to stop obsessing about it! Stop wanting it. End the day with a soda instead of a drink. I drank every.single.day.
It's that madness that I finally feel free of. And I hope you do soon, too.
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