auxilio

I have been posting like crazy because I am on my sixth day and don't want to pick up. Despite the posting, reading the BB, and calling, a voice in my head emerges around dinner time and keeps telling me that I can enjoy that beautiful glass of wine. I know that I can't because I am an alcoholic. The evenings are the toughest. I don't have any alcohol at home so I just force myself not to leave the house. Leaving the house is a trigger for me.

Dee74

I'm sorry you're struggling auxillo.
Forgive me for forgetting, but do you have any support besides SR?

D

auxilio

Thanks Dee. Yes, I have AA but I need to go out of the house in order to go. I will go.

Dee74

good!

D

MsCooterBrown

I am thinking when I first quit that my pacing time started after work..then went on till I went to bed. One of the drawbacks of drinking the minute you get off work. I had to find distractions. I took walks. I read. I watched the sober people in my neighborhood raking. I would go to the grocery store after making out a list of what I need..(that was new to me..while drinking there was NEVER any room in the fridge for food!)..I cooked..I posted ALOT on SR. And then by the 3rd week or so I no longer felt fidgety. It is all about replacing drinking time with new activities. Not hard because my old activity was being perched on a barstool..or sitting in the glow of the tv not even aware of what I was "watching"...AND it is about a whole new mindset. I actually got angry that I let alcohol control me for so many years so when that thought would creep in that I should be drinking I would kill it. P!ssed me off. I hope it gets better for you as well. I don't ever think of drinking now. NOT drinking has become the normal!

LaFemme

I posted like a fiend on SR too. You are doing great...it will get easier

UniqueNewYork

Struggling in the beginning is pretty normal. Are you giving the devil his playground? Your idle time that is? Some people do a lot of service work and drive people and make coffee. Personally I hate that crap but a lot of people love it, or maybe they hate it but it keeps them sober so its worth it. One thing I can agree on is meetings are your best bet. The internet is great, this site is great, other sites are great, at the end of the day it definitely helps to connect with someone in a deep way face to face, and you need meetings for that. You've probably got a lot of time on your hands. You have a choice of what to fill that newfound time with. I recommend something productive, fulfilling or at the very least fun.

Ainslie

Aux, I was a huge wino as well, evenings were hard for me. If its driving you too mad, perhaps see your doctor and see if he can provide a short term sedative to calm you down at night. I had those + internet + about 9 years worth of tv series to catch up on.

A book 'getting sober' by kelly madigan erlandson was so helpful to me, here is a link for the free download

Kelly Madigan Erlandson - Getting Sober: A Practical Guide to Making It Through the First 30 Days | Free eBooks Download - EBOOKEE!

Hope im allowed to post that.

Ainslie

Aux, I was a huge wino as well, evenings were hard for me. If its driving you too mad, perhaps see your doctor and see if he can provide a short term sedative to calm you down at night. I had those + internet + about 9 years worth of tv series to catch up on.

A book 'getting sober' by kelly madigan erlandson was so helpful to me, here is a link for the free download

Kelly Madigan Erlandson - Getting Sober: A Practical Guide to Making It Through the First 30 Days | Free eBooks Download - EBOOKEE!

Hope im allowed to post that.

24hrsAday

A.A. meetings are very important Especially in the beginning to build a strong foundation! go to them even if you must force yourself.. you'll be glad you did!

ItsMe23

I know that feeling too, i always just fight through it. They only seem to last a half hour or so for me.

Germanos

Don't give in... I just quit... again. I am already feeling shaky and it hasn't even been a day. Do you really want to go through that whole process again? Enough is enough.. I am done.