lilac0721

Last week I was super busy at work. SUPER busy. I worked close to 60 hours. I had a jury trial (first time in a long time) on Thursday. I was scheduled to be in 2 places at once on Friday...I managed to prepare for both assignments despite being in the office for a minimal part of the 60 hours.

After the trial (which was successful, as I achieved a win against a lawyer who has WAAAY more experience than me), I caved and had a few beers. I didn't like the way I felt. I got through the day on Friday and got home and just crashed with a cocktail.

So I guess a trigger is feeling overworked and when there is time to exhale, I have a tendency to want to just be completely numb. Of course, in the past I have "crashed and burned" prior to the completion of the crazy-busy week (or whatever time period is at issue). I guess on a positive note, while I did go back to the booze temporarily, I did manage to not have it be a total self-sabotage situation (meaning work responsibilities did not suffer).

Onward. Sleepward (yes, I am still tired, and next week looks a lot like last week did).

reggiewayne

I can definitely relate. I remember having like 20 days sober and then having a huge end of the month at a sales job a few years ago. Ended up making a lot of money that month and I celebrated by going to the bar, buying the most expensive whiskey and drinking many that night. I awoke the next morning with a tremendous since of regret and a headache.

I can now look back and see the part my ego played in my demise. For me, when I'm on doing well, I'm not just doing OK, I am on top of the world! But when I'm not doing so well, it's not like I'm just having a tough day, it's that I'm the worst person on the face of the earth. Both assessments of myself are wrong, and both are a form of ego.

Kadybug

Hi Lilac -
and congratulations on making it through the week! Sorry about your slip, but good for you on identifying (yet another?) trigger.

My sponsor told me that we don't always drink because something's wrong; often we drink when something's PERFECT. Maybe we think we don't deserve good things? Maybe we try to sabotage ourselves? Maybe it's the perfectionist in us that wants to make sure where our crazy line is? (how much is too much - can I tell - maybe I'll push just a little harder ...)

Keep the faith, get some rest ... thank you for sharing with us!

UniqueNewYork

I have triggers as well that I talk about in my posts and threads. I guess what I have learned (although I can forget this at times) is that I'm an alcoholic. Anything can be a trigger. They didn't put sprinkles on my ice cream boohoo its beer 30 time. Not trying to minimalize your situation. Maybe long hours is your trigger. I just know that for me I didn't really have triggers, I had justifications. The boss was an ******* to me today so I am justified to drink. Work sucked d so I'm justified to drink. My mom was a **** to me, justified to drink. Etc etc.

CarolD

Each time I returned to drinking after my decision to stop
at least 2 of these elements were in place

Hungry ..Angry...Lonely-Tired-Sad

I'm thinking you were overly tired and stressed?

they call them triggers because they contribute to your destructive path.
You keep shooting yourself in the brain...JMO

lilac0721

That pretty well sums it up. Boy is it tough to see that feeling like a pile of dirt is a form of ego, but it is finally (after 2-3 years of trying to achieve sobriety) starting to make sense.

LaFemme

Early on identifying triggers was helpful to me, until I realized everything was a trigger Congrats on your trial victory! I found working crazy hours only encouraged me to crawl into bed and crash...lol

Zencat

My triggers are more like states of mind that I need to be aware of. Like being overworked I may feel anger, frustration or fill in the blank _______. When my mood goes south, that's when I need to examine my thoughts about the situation and see if my mood if being effected negativity.

ZZworldontheweb

Stress in any form is a trigger for most people it seems. You just have to get to a place in life where you're able to relax without using alcohol. For me, it helped to realize that the whatever I was going through (or had just gone through) was well within my abilities, and while it may have been challenging, it was no life or death struggle. I learned to relax other ways, such as taking a bath or going for a walk.

LexieCat

I don't believe in triggers. I wanted to drink when I was happy, when I was sad, when I was angry, when I was overworked, when I was bored. I'd use any of those as excuses for drinking, but the truth was that I drank because I was an alcoholic.

I pled a huge case the morning of jury selection. I'd held it together through months of trial prep. Guess what I did when I went home early after the plea?

It was my last drinkathon. I got sober three weeks later.

BP44

I only have one trigger....being awake. I drank for every reason anyone on here can give. The horror of my alcoholism is that quite often I drank for no reason at all. Trying to identify and hide from or cope with " triggers" is no life of freedom. When I accepted the fact that I drink no matter what, I began to embrace a solution with a desperation.

lilac0721

I see some replies that indicate there is no such thing as a trigger. Does that mean that when I have no thoughts whatsoever about drinking that really I do want to drink? My patterns indicate that there are specific times and situations that I have habitually reacted to by drinking.

DayTrader

If you ONLY drink at specific times.......and ONLY drink in certain situations, maybe you're just a "situational drinker." I thought that's what I was for a while, and maybe I was.......for a while. But when I reeeally got honest and looked, I drank after good days, or bad days, when I was happy or sad, scared or on top of the world, when I couldn't sleep, when I wanted to stay up, heck..... I even drank when I planned to NOT drink.

If you only drink in certain situations and you're able to control yourself during those "trigger" times, then great for you....stick with that. The key is to watch your ACTUAL results. How's it going? Armed with this new plan of trigger management, are you staying sober and are you happy? Maybe it'll work for you......maybe it won't. You won't know until you try. For me....I was sure it would work but it seemed like there was alllllways some odd-ball monkey wrench that would get tossed into the mix at the last minute and I'd get drunk. Turns out, it wasn't all the monkey wrenches so much as it was my ALCOHOLISM.

When I look back... I found a reason or an excuse to drink. And if there wasn't a good reason or a good excuse, I'd make one up, force one to happen, or just get drunk anyway. I'd start the next day with a lot of confusion about how I let it happen again but gear up with a new resolution to avoid that situation from now on. Over time it became pretty apparent - I wasn't able to manage my sobriety. Like LaFemme said, it turned out my "trigger" was sobriety........ ya see, when I'm not drunk, I'm generally triggered by alllllllllllll sorts of stuff to get drunk (or high). I really just didn't know how to be "in the moment" and be happy and content. I didn't feel "right" until I had a buzz on.

For the chronic alcoholic, knowing your triggers is great........sometimes you'll be able to avoid them or work through them without getting drunk.......but it won't prove reliable enough. Sooner or later you'll end up drunk again and for a real alcoholic, that's playing a nasty game of Russian roulette.

When I hit AA, I was told I'd could have a lifestyle I'd love......get and STAY happy......and never take a drink again the rest of my life. Sure, "the rest of my life" seemed a bit extreme (lol) but it didn't take long for me to recognize that I hadn't been in control of my drinking for many years (well, maaaaaaaaaybe once and a while I could kind-a control it but it was the exception, not the norm) and once we lose control, we NEVER get it back. So for me, to keep drinking was to sign my own death warrant.....it was just a matter of time but a nasty death was coming down the pipe for me.....unless maybe I COULD find a way to get sober, get happy and stay that way for the rest of my days on this planet. --and for me, there's NO doubt I can "manage all my triggers" forever......and certainly not reliably forever.

Maybe you're in a different place than I was/am....... but I'll tell ya this, even if you're in that same spot I was - there's still more hope than you can believe. Do what we've done and you can have a happy sober life yourself.

Supercrew

My main trigger was just the thought of drinking. If the thought crossed my mind I would head to the store or wherever the booze was. I also realized the more I said "I can't drink", the stronger the obsession to drink became.

I had to find away for my mind to start thinking in terms of "I don't want to drink", rather than "I can't drink". Over a period of about a year with alot of retraining my brain finally got the message.

Basically everything that Day Trader said goes for me, except I didn't use a specific program. Maybe that's why it took me over a year.

lilac0721

Boy does that make sense. I am at the point where the thought of vodka is creating an adverse reaction - I cringe at the thought of how nasty it tastes. Ick. Yuck.

LetsGoJets

i agree with those who dont believe in "triggers"

my trigger was being awake. all i did was drink, no matter what the circumstances were.

lilac0721

Lots of good wisdom here. Regardless of why I start, I know that I can't stop once I do start drinking. That may be the real issue I need to focus on.

Veritas1

I was at an AA meeting today. We were in a big book study and in the chapter How It Works.

Selfishness, the AA chapter suggests, is the root of our troubles.

I did a great job, I want a drink. I cave and have a drink.

I am being selfish when I pick up a drink.

Not saying this is what happened for you, but is something I learned today.

Hope it is helpful.

Also knowing why you start is important, not just what happens once you have started.

Getting to the root of why you start drinking. What you do...What makes you drink, drives you to drink...is important.

I would really take a look at this.

If you don't know what is it about you that causes you to pick up a drink...how can you prepare a defense?

TwelveSteps

I wholeheartedly disagree. I definitely have specific triggers -- in the form of feeling very anxious or believing I am about to have a panic attack -- and my work in recovery has allowed me to train myself to take a step back, take a deep breath, and analyze what's really going on when that happens rather than immediately heading for a drink. Knowing that I'm being triggered is very comforting because most of the time, I'm fine with not drinking, and don't have any cravings. When I realize what I'm experiencing is just a trigger, I know I can wait it out and I'll get back to being "okay" again even if I don't drink.

GG

recycle

I most definitely have triggers. A trigger for me are things that I associate together and one of them is drinking: Going out to pizza with friends makes a beer seem natural. Coming back to the house after a sunny day on the beach also is a trigger. Basically things that make me think about drinking when I was not thinking about drinking are triggers.When I find one I try to examine it closely by looking at the form and content of the event and how that relates to drinking. My sponsor has been great about exploring these things with me and helping me identify what part of my thinking is messed up. Generally, I do not bring them to SR because I have no desire to argue about what I am experiencing. SR is a great resource, but it has limitations.