30 Days Sober What's The Big Deal?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
30 days is a big deal...when you are an alcoholic.
Welcome… Justfor1
I was tired of being my worst enemy and -like you- was always trying to recreate my old self, hoping to become normal again like everyone else. This –as you said- was the main reason why you choose to sober up, that and to claim your stake in the sober battlefield of life. My reason –other than the obvious- was to enjoy quality time with the ones I love the most and to pursue the dreams I once had. I am currently enjoying that sober life with all my dreams still intact and are doing so without regret -thanks to God and AA.
Even though the reasons differ, from person to person, the outcomes can potentially be the same; living a sober life one day at a time. When we are willing to make the choice ,of sobering up, a priority -like you have- than we start the journey towards a better life, no matter how we define it.
Keep up the good work and continue through the process of reclaiming your life one day at a time.
~God Bless~
I was tired of being my worst enemy and -like you- was always trying to recreate my old self, hoping to become normal again like everyone else. This –as you said- was the main reason why you choose to sober up, that and to claim your stake in the sober battlefield of life. My reason –other than the obvious- was to enjoy quality time with the ones I love the most and to pursue the dreams I once had. I am currently enjoying that sober life with all my dreams still intact and are doing so without regret -thanks to God and AA.
Even though the reasons differ, from person to person, the outcomes can potentially be the same; living a sober life one day at a time. When we are willing to make the choice ,of sobering up, a priority -like you have- than we start the journey towards a better life, no matter how we define it.
Keep up the good work and continue through the process of reclaiming your life one day at a time.
~God Bless~
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Just, the people around you may not care, but 30 days is impressive. As far as your "only" reason for stopping goes, being sick of the pain of addiction sounds like a good one to me. That might not be the only one in due time.
I don't blame you for having a list of things that you're angry about and want, but when you do the same thing as you did with drinking - flip it around - you can impress yourself with the things you do have. Easier said than done. I have some things to complain about too and did some complaining to myself and in an email today.
But months ago I looked back and saw the quitting as easy. Months later, it looks that way too, and so does the staying quit. Now it's just the present that looks hard, and by that I mean the things I have to accomplish that don't have much to do with drinking/sobriety; just being satisfied that I am living smart. But if I can keep going with my attitude...And line up my building blocks patiently....Hmmm. I'll see what I can do.
I don't blame you for having a list of things that you're angry about and want, but when you do the same thing as you did with drinking - flip it around - you can impress yourself with the things you do have. Easier said than done. I have some things to complain about too and did some complaining to myself and in an email today.
But months ago I looked back and saw the quitting as easy. Months later, it looks that way too, and so does the staying quit. Now it's just the present that looks hard, and by that I mean the things I have to accomplish that don't have much to do with drinking/sobriety; just being satisfied that I am living smart. But if I can keep going with my attitude...And line up my building blocks patiently....Hmmm. I'll see what I can do.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
I get the sense that many on this SR site were not low bottom drunks. Yes there is a difference.
And more to the point, what's the difference? I know I want no part of the "I'm worse off than _________" contest. Playing that game gets people dead.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Hmm other than spewing a bunch of resentment style venom all over the place, I don't get the point of this thread..?
Are you pissed that you lost your license? That you owe a shitload of medical bills? that you don't have a girlfriend? That your life hasn't magically fallen into place simply because you changed your choice in beverages? Not quite sure how blameshifting all over the place is going to help with any of those things.
Come on now.. you've been an active, albeit intoxicated, member of AA for some time. Do you think you might go back and ask for help yet? Or is this how you're going to live now...
I mean really.
Are you pissed that you lost your license? That you owe a shitload of medical bills? that you don't have a girlfriend? That your life hasn't magically fallen into place simply because you changed your choice in beverages? Not quite sure how blameshifting all over the place is going to help with any of those things.
Come on now.. you've been an active, albeit intoxicated, member of AA for some time. Do you think you might go back and ask for help yet? Or is this how you're going to live now...
I mean really.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
I personally take offense to anyone who questions anyone elses "bottom".
My life was a living H*ll when I was actively drinking, if you don't believe
me, ask the loved ones who were the victims of the tornado called "my active alcoholism".
Thirty days can be a be the beginning of a new life...or the continuation of self-pity.
Your choice.
My life was a living H*ll when I was actively drinking, if you don't believe
me, ask the loved ones who were the victims of the tornado called "my active alcoholism".
Thirty days can be a be the beginning of a new life...or the continuation of self-pity.
Your choice.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Hey Just,
So as I was reading through this thread, I had a lot of different emotions, from anger, to pity, sadness, and confusion...
I just want to say that it sounds like theres some tough stuff going on in your life. I'm sorry to hear that.
I also want to say that I think 30 days is great, and I remember my 30 day mark as something I felt really proud of.
Anger and finger pointing may make you feel better. I can understand that. I do think that when all is said and done, you will realize that it isn't going to help you get through your troubles, nor is it going to win you any friends.
We all have had our troubles. Here, in this forum, we can understand each other, share ESH, and be supportive FRIENDS. You should try letting yourself feel the love here.
So as I was reading through this thread, I had a lot of different emotions, from anger, to pity, sadness, and confusion...
I just want to say that it sounds like theres some tough stuff going on in your life. I'm sorry to hear that.
I also want to say that I think 30 days is great, and I remember my 30 day mark as something I felt really proud of.
Anger and finger pointing may make you feel better. I can understand that. I do think that when all is said and done, you will realize that it isn't going to help you get through your troubles, nor is it going to win you any friends.
We all have had our troubles. Here, in this forum, we can understand each other, share ESH, and be supportive FRIENDS. You should try letting yourself feel the love here.
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Thanks everyone. Magic, I relate to the the blackout and attacking a cab driver. Happened to me also. In answer to what is a low bottom drunk. IMO is when a person loses everything. Not this time but in the past I was homeless stealing rubbing alcohol while living in an alley on the West side of Chicago. I use to sell my food stamps for cheap Vodka and sometimes drugs. There is a big difference between the guy who comes into the program with the job, family and car versus a homeless person. Yes we are all alcoholics but we are all starting from different places.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 432
I'm betting maybe Justfor1 is actually feeling pretty good, but he's just going through one of those mood swings we sometimes get around 30 days. I'll cut him some slack.
Brother, you're not a low-bottom or high-bottom anything any more, you're a regular, recovering human. Sure, you've got some problems, but hey, at least you have some tools:
1. You're 70K in the hole. If you can pay it, try to do so, but if you have no income, then yes, that's what bankruptcy is for. If you file BK to get the creditors off your back, you can still go back SOME DAY when you're on your feet and pay what you really owe without a bunch of usurious interest and penalties. Moral obligation met.
2. Nasty creditors calling? They can't get anything if you don't have anything. Get caller ID or pull the cord out or change your number. Or let them hear a dial tone or an air horn. Being in debt isn't ideal, but it's not a crime.
3. Need wheels? At some point you'll get them back. Until then, walking or the bus can still be a partial solution.
As far as wanting the material things, that's one place you may need to adjust your attitude. I think most people will agree that doesn't bring happiness anyway in any real sense. And the nice looking GF? Getting one with character may be a better move.
GOOD LUCK.
Brother, you're not a low-bottom or high-bottom anything any more, you're a regular, recovering human. Sure, you've got some problems, but hey, at least you have some tools:
1. You're 70K in the hole. If you can pay it, try to do so, but if you have no income, then yes, that's what bankruptcy is for. If you file BK to get the creditors off your back, you can still go back SOME DAY when you're on your feet and pay what you really owe without a bunch of usurious interest and penalties. Moral obligation met.
2. Nasty creditors calling? They can't get anything if you don't have anything. Get caller ID or pull the cord out or change your number. Or let them hear a dial tone or an air horn. Being in debt isn't ideal, but it's not a crime.
3. Need wheels? At some point you'll get them back. Until then, walking or the bus can still be a partial solution.
As far as wanting the material things, that's one place you may need to adjust your attitude. I think most people will agree that doesn't bring happiness anyway in any real sense. And the nice looking GF? Getting one with character may be a better move.
GOOD LUCK.
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
As far as wanting the material things, that's one place you may need to adjust your attitude. I think most people will agree that doesn't bring happiness anyway in any real sense. And the nice looking GF? Getting one with character may be a better move.
GOOD LUCK.[/QUOTE]
I hear ya. I think I should avoid focusing on the material stuff for now. I think I have to wear nice clothes and have a nice watch to go to an AA meeting.
GOOD LUCK.[/QUOTE]
I hear ya. I think I should avoid focusing on the material stuff for now. I think I have to wear nice clothes and have a nice watch to go to an AA meeting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 73
30 days sober eh no big deal? I happen to fully agree with you. You are dead right not drinking is just doing what 90% of people do in life everyday. There is no cookie for it thats for sure. The rest of the things you mention finances etc are all out there for the taking. If you want it bad enough simply take it. It really is that simple. I came from nothing and have done very well by most standards BUT I never had the attitude the world owes me a damn thing. In fact the world will do everything in it's power to stop my success. Once I learned the rules at a young age I played within the paremeters of the world. Get a road block...ok go over, under, slide by, or smash through...whatever you have to ..IF you want it. it truly is that simple. But never forget anything you want has a price in some form or another..be it working long hours, sacraficing family time, changing everything about yourself..whatever..there is always a price to pay.
As far as high bottom low bottom...each is different. I am the proverbial mansion the hill BS..however was fully prepared to drink myself to death and didn't care. family? I got rid of them..friends were long gone. I simply had the funds to drink the good stuff till I died and a roof to do it. When i got straightened up did life become one grand rosy ballroom dance because I decided to quit the bottle..nope it was just like you said it was..however it was JUST how I expected it to be...no one gave a damn I was dying from booze as a whole no one gave a damn I was sober..thats how it works. That my friend is what you need to come to terms with. It's ALL up to you and you alone. The world will push you into a hole if you let it...stop wasting time blaming and fight back and go take the girl you want and the material things you want.
As far as high bottom low bottom...each is different. I am the proverbial mansion the hill BS..however was fully prepared to drink myself to death and didn't care. family? I got rid of them..friends were long gone. I simply had the funds to drink the good stuff till I died and a roof to do it. When i got straightened up did life become one grand rosy ballroom dance because I decided to quit the bottle..nope it was just like you said it was..however it was JUST how I expected it to be...no one gave a damn I was dying from booze as a whole no one gave a damn I was sober..thats how it works. That my friend is what you need to come to terms with. It's ALL up to you and you alone. The world will push you into a hole if you let it...stop wasting time blaming and fight back and go take the girl you want and the material things you want.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
It sounds like you need to address some issues aside from your drinking. 30 days of sobriety is a good start. If you hate your life though, that's your perspective- which is entirely possible to change. It's your choice to sit there and feel like you've been given a lousy hand. You are in charge of you. Remind yourself of that.
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Originally Posted by Mark75
IDK, all these comparisons, high bottom, low bottom... Justfor1... Have you hit your bottom yet?
Sorry I guess I have been ranting and raving a bit on this thread.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
Justfor1 you've made it thru one day and that is how it works. You are feeling more emotions now sober...and are not alone in that arena. If you choose to go to AA, get a sponser, do the steps and stay sober one day at a time, things do get better. It is a program that teaches you how to live life and how to handle things that used to baffle us. i am not completely there yet, but am striving (and have hope). I see so many people go thru the 12 steps and are living fulfilling lives. Don't ever give up!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
My journey is my journey....it's mine.
It's about as intensely personal as it gets...it doesn't matter what anyone else says, does, or thinks of it....or it shouldn't.
Congratulations on 30 days JustFor1.
D
It's about as intensely personal as it gets...it doesn't matter what anyone else says, does, or thinks of it....or it shouldn't.
Congratulations on 30 days JustFor1.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
Yeah, in the grand mighty scheme of the history of humanity, it's not so glorious to refrain from self-harm. No one's going to hold a parade, maybe they won't even notice. Just like you don't notice the restraint that others in your life enact.
You've traveled one more road looking for happiness. The road you tried is 'happiness achieved through brain altering chemicals'. But, it didn't work for you. And now you know it doesn't work. "The only reason why I stay sober today is because I'm tired of the pain of addiction." To continue on a road that just creates pain for you is to chase your own tale around the block a million times, and have the neighbors wonder why the heck you keep running around the block over and over again, looking for something that you've looked for, and know it isn't there.
Now it's time to try something new, a new road to happiness. You're not doing it because it's important, you're not doing it because it's expected of you by others.
You stop drinking for the very reason you said; because addiction is painful. It's an illusion that promises happiness, but never delivers.
You've traveled one more road looking for happiness. The road you tried is 'happiness achieved through brain altering chemicals'. But, it didn't work for you. And now you know it doesn't work. "The only reason why I stay sober today is because I'm tired of the pain of addiction." To continue on a road that just creates pain for you is to chase your own tale around the block a million times, and have the neighbors wonder why the heck you keep running around the block over and over again, looking for something that you've looked for, and know it isn't there.
Now it's time to try something new, a new road to happiness. You're not doing it because it's important, you're not doing it because it's expected of you by others.
You stop drinking for the very reason you said; because addiction is painful. It's an illusion that promises happiness, but never delivers.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by Justfor1
Thanks everyone. Magic, I relate to the the blackout and attacking a cab driver. Happened to me also. In answer to what is a low bottom drunk. IMO is when a person loses everything. Not this time but in the past I was homeless stealing rubbing alcohol while living in an alley on the West side of Chicago. I use to sell my food stamps for cheap Vodka and sometimes drugs. There is a big difference between the guy who comes into the program with the job, family and car versus a homeless person. Yes we are all alcoholics but we are all starting from different places.
I was ready to kill myself because I couldn't live sober. I had a moment when my only options were to drink or kill myself. That was my bottom...the madness in my head. I'm glad I got help--I've been sober nearly two years and I want to live.
A person's background becomes meaningless when booze takes over. It comes to the same in the end.
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