30 Days Sober What's The Big Deal?
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
30 Days Sober What's The Big Deal?
I have a month sober and have been thinking. Why is it important? All I'm doing is what 90% of the population is doing. That is being a responsible member of society who doesn't drink/drug daily. My family and friends do not care that I have 30 days. The only reason why I stay sober today is because I'm tired of the pain of addiction. Also, I want material things. I want a new career, my license back (thanks a lot state of Illinois), a car and a nice looking girlfriend. To sum it up I'm 30 days sober & I still hate my life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I think that if you want a different life, you are going to have to change what you are doing.
Life doesn't magically change when you stop drinking, but how you react to your problems does. what you do to change your life is up to you. YOU should care about your sobriety, that's the important part.
I am assuming that you lost your license for DUI? I'm glad you and someone else wasn't hurt in the process.
Life doesn't magically change when you stop drinking, but how you react to your problems does. what you do to change your life is up to you. YOU should care about your sobriety, that's the important part.
I am assuming that you lost your license for DUI? I'm glad you and someone else wasn't hurt in the process.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
One Day at a Time
Not sure if you are in AA but it states that... resentment is infinitely grave. BB p.66, How It Works
But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.
Life can be difficult sometimes...what I do is call someone in recovery to ask how they are doing, read recovery material, do what is suggested of my sponser, go to a meeting and always try to stay connected with my HP. And, never giving up hope...The Promises, that are read in many A.A. Meetings can be found on page 83-84, of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Thank you for sharing; glad you are here.
BB Quotes-1st Edition
But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.
Life can be difficult sometimes...what I do is call someone in recovery to ask how they are doing, read recovery material, do what is suggested of my sponser, go to a meeting and always try to stay connected with my HP. And, never giving up hope...The Promises, that are read in many A.A. Meetings can be found on page 83-84, of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Thank you for sharing; glad you are here.
BB Quotes-1st Edition
Last edited by CarolD; 02-18-2011 at 08:46 AM. Reason: Added source per SR copy right guideline
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
I am assuming that you lost your license for DUI? I'm glad you and someone else wasn't hurt in the process.[/QUOTE]
I have not driven for over 8 years. I have paid my dues with the state. I paid thousands of dollars and served my time. Sober or not I deserve my license back. Lots of people make a big deal about anniversaries around here and I don't get it. A person may be sober 2 years but society will still be skeptical of the recovering alcoholic/addict. Face it most of society hates people like us.
I have not driven for over 8 years. I have paid my dues with the state. I paid thousands of dollars and served my time. Sober or not I deserve my license back. Lots of people make a big deal about anniversaries around here and I don't get it. A person may be sober 2 years but society will still be skeptical of the recovering alcoholic/addict. Face it most of society hates people like us.
Moment of Conception
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Planet Tragedy
Posts: 453
Hey folks...
Its more than likely you are wrong about thinking your fam' and friends dont care about the progress you are making rite now. You have a sober mind at the mo and its a very different frame altogether.
My younger brother once said to me... "its going to be a whole new life for you", and he was rite! Everything feels different, but better, and gets better as time goes on. Starting from the early feeeling of being exposed without the drink shrouding you with a false sense of confidence.
When i sometimes think back, i hurt a lot of people. They remember better than i do, and at first i was very apprehensive about fixing things as a rusult of guilt and shame. However the longer i stayed off the drink the stronger i became, mentaly and physicaly. At first it was hard to hold my chin up and look people in the eye, for the vibe i felt, but i stuck at it. Eventually poeple began to see the new me as it were, and slowly i rebuilt their trust, perhaps not to what it was, but hey it was a start.
Just begining to come off the drink is very difficult and continues to be until you actually accept the fact yourself you are doing the rite thing for YOURSELF, that way i rate that everyone connected to you has to benefit also. All these benefits however small i feel have a knock on effect and continue to help you progress.
One great help i found was sharing my problems with others, its kind of, or is, a relief.
Im glad you have come here to share your thoughts on how you are doing.
Although i dont post that often, i do come to read now and again and it really has helped me like many many others here.
Good luck with your sobriety, every day... :-)
Its more than likely you are wrong about thinking your fam' and friends dont care about the progress you are making rite now. You have a sober mind at the mo and its a very different frame altogether.
My younger brother once said to me... "its going to be a whole new life for you", and he was rite! Everything feels different, but better, and gets better as time goes on. Starting from the early feeeling of being exposed without the drink shrouding you with a false sense of confidence.
When i sometimes think back, i hurt a lot of people. They remember better than i do, and at first i was very apprehensive about fixing things as a rusult of guilt and shame. However the longer i stayed off the drink the stronger i became, mentaly and physicaly. At first it was hard to hold my chin up and look people in the eye, for the vibe i felt, but i stuck at it. Eventually poeple began to see the new me as it were, and slowly i rebuilt their trust, perhaps not to what it was, but hey it was a start.
Just begining to come off the drink is very difficult and continues to be until you actually accept the fact yourself you are doing the rite thing for YOURSELF, that way i rate that everyone connected to you has to benefit also. All these benefits however small i feel have a knock on effect and continue to help you progress.
One great help i found was sharing my problems with others, its kind of, or is, a relief.
Im glad you have come here to share your thoughts on how you are doing.
Although i dont post that often, i do come to read now and again and it really has helped me like many many others here.
Good luck with your sobriety, every day... :-)
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
You get to control your world (as far as how you view it).
If you're an alcoholic, then 30 days not drinking is great!
If you're not an acoholic, then we wouldn't even be having this conversation b/c this thought woudn't have even entered their brain.
Any day, where a alcoholic doesn't drink is incredible.
...and as far as how society views alcoholics, well, I think that directly relates to the alcoholic in question
I know for me, I've done a lot of work on myself and I'm no longer a menace to society. I'm no longer selfish, pleasure seeking, lying and manipulative.
I actually add value to society and thats pretty cool. I'm starting to like my place in this world.
Kjell
If you're an alcoholic, then 30 days not drinking is great!
If you're not an acoholic, then we wouldn't even be having this conversation b/c this thought woudn't have even entered their brain.
Any day, where a alcoholic doesn't drink is incredible.
...and as far as how society views alcoholics, well, I think that directly relates to the alcoholic in question
I know for me, I've done a lot of work on myself and I'm no longer a menace to society. I'm no longer selfish, pleasure seeking, lying and manipulative.
I actually add value to society and thats pretty cool. I'm starting to like my place in this world.
Kjell
We be us.Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
I have not driven for over 8 years. I have paid my dues with the state. I paid thousands of dollars and served my time. Sober or not I deserve my license back.
Originally Posted by Justfor1
Lots of people make a big deal about anniversaries around here and I don't get it. A person may be sober 2 years but society will still be skeptical of the recovering alcoholic/addict. Face it most of society hates people like us.
The bottom line, you are the architect of you problems, not the state, not society. Get over it. For your sake.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
You've learned a few valuable lessons here. First, you're not sober. You're abstinent from alcohol. There's a difference. Second, alcohol's not your problem. If alcohol was the cause of all your misery you'd be a happy camper after 30 days without it. Third, you're still the same person you were 30 days ago, you just don't drink right now. People don't see any difference in you because there is no difference. You haven't changed, you just don't drink.
Kjell's right in that 30 days without a drink is a hell of an accomplishment, and no one can take that away from you. But now you have to recognize that you have to change yourself, as you're the problem. You need emotional and mental sobriety to be happy, not just physical abstinence. Go to some AA meetings and try that program out. And keep an open mind if you do so. That program has helped millions of people, myself included. If you decide it's not for you, then no harm done. Doesn't cost anything to go to a meeting. There are a lot of other programs out there that can help you.
But in any event, you're gonna have to do something besides not drinking to live a happy life. You've taken the first step, and it's a big one. Don't stop now.
Kjell's right in that 30 days without a drink is a hell of an accomplishment, and no one can take that away from you. But now you have to recognize that you have to change yourself, as you're the problem. You need emotional and mental sobriety to be happy, not just physical abstinence. Go to some AA meetings and try that program out. And keep an open mind if you do so. That program has helped millions of people, myself included. If you decide it's not for you, then no harm done. Doesn't cost anything to go to a meeting. There are a lot of other programs out there that can help you.
But in any event, you're gonna have to do something besides not drinking to live a happy life. You've taken the first step, and it's a big one. Don't stop now.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Gee....it's a damn shame you have not been arrested
or been drinking a toxin ..... hospitalized ...chaired AA meetings drunk...
no or script shopping.... or become homeless in 30 days.
It must be difficult to live without such pleasures...
or been drinking a toxin ..... hospitalized ...chaired AA meetings drunk...
no or script shopping.... or become homeless in 30 days.
It must be difficult to live without such pleasures...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
OK, you haven't had a drink in 30 days, that is wonderful and i'm glad for you.
you lost your license 8 years ago...if you had been sober for 8 years, i'd agree that the state of Illinois did something crappy...i don't know your details, but you seem to be worked up about it?
but if you've been drinking the last 8 years, I'm really glad you are not driving...and so should you be. Your odds of doing yourself and other people great harm are greatly increased when you drive and drink.
it's better to vent here and discuss all the different opinions instead of let it sit inside your head.
you lost your license 8 years ago...if you had been sober for 8 years, i'd agree that the state of Illinois did something crappy...i don't know your details, but you seem to be worked up about it?
but if you've been drinking the last 8 years, I'm really glad you are not driving...and so should you be. Your odds of doing yourself and other people great harm are greatly increased when you drive and drink.
it's better to vent here and discuss all the different opinions instead of let it sit inside your head.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
I owe more than 70,000 in unpaid hospital bills. Mostly due to drinking/drugging. I am getting threatening calls from the bill collectors. I have no intention of ever paying that amount back. I will exercise the legal option of bankruptcy in a few years. I don't care if they are "just doing their jobs". They are horrible people to deal with on a daily basis and they stress me out. I am currently shopping the idea around to sue one of these collection agencies for harassment. I have reported them to the Federal Trade Commisssion already.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by Justfor1
I am assuming that you lost your license for DUI? I'm glad you and someone else wasn't hurt in the process.
but you have 70K in unpaid hospital bills "mostly due to drinking and drugging"...and you have think you have "paid your dues"?
I can't believe your sense of entitlement and arguing with the FTC?...maybe you could write all the people who took care of you in the hospital a thank you letter too?
this is a no win...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I think your sober time is pretty darn special.
Life is what you make it. Now you are sober and thats a heck of a fresh start.
Getting into recovery made the difference between just being me - sober and being me free and living life again.
Wishing you well.
Life is what you make it. Now you are sober and thats a heck of a fresh start.
Getting into recovery made the difference between just being me - sober and being me free and living life again.
Wishing you well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
but you have 70K in unpaid hospital bills "mostly due to drinking and drugging"...and you have think you have "paid your dues"?
Fandy, I have read your posts for quite some time & get the sense that you were a very high bottom drunk. This one bill collector was calling me in the middle of the night & even threatened me with physical harm. I reported it to the FTC and am looking for a lawyer to take my case. I have not worked in quite some time so I cannot make payments. I have a disability case pending in federal court which I should win. I cannot work due to illness outside addiction. I get the sense that many on this SR site were not low bottom drunks. Yes there is a difference.
Fandy, I have read your posts for quite some time & get the sense that you were a very high bottom drunk. This one bill collector was calling me in the middle of the night & even threatened me with physical harm. I reported it to the FTC and am looking for a lawyer to take my case. I have not worked in quite some time so I cannot make payments. I have a disability case pending in federal court which I should win. I cannot work due to illness outside addiction. I get the sense that many on this SR site were not low bottom drunks. Yes there is a difference.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 66
If you were unemployed why didn't you try and get on medicade? Medicade saved my ASS from claiming bankruptcy, and if the doctor's visits were in the past few months they may still help you out, I would definetely give it a try.
I get the sense that many on this SR site were not low bottom drunks
You say that but then say that 30 days isn't a big deal? Comon... Just take it a day at a time, things will get better, but you have to put forth a little more effort to try and work on your character defects, you'll be amazed how much you can change.
I get the sense that many on this SR site were not low bottom drunks
You say that but then say that 30 days isn't a big deal? Comon... Just take it a day at a time, things will get better, but you have to put forth a little more effort to try and work on your character defects, you'll be amazed how much you can change.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by Justfor1
but you have 70K in unpaid hospital bills "mostly due to drinking and drugging"...and you have think you have "paid your dues"?
Fandy, I have read your posts for quite some time & get the sense that you were a very high bottom drunk. This one bill collector was calling me in the middle of the night & even threatened me with physical harm. I reported it to the FTC and am looking for a lawyer to take my case. I have not worked in quite some time so I cannot make payments. I have a disability case pending in federal court which I should win. I cannot work due to illness outside addiction. I get the sense that many on this SR site were not low bottom drunks. Yes there is a difference.
Fandy, I have read your posts for quite some time & get the sense that you were a very high bottom drunk. This one bill collector was calling me in the middle of the night & even threatened me with physical harm. I reported it to the FTC and am looking for a lawyer to take my case. I have not worked in quite some time so I cannot make payments. I have a disability case pending in federal court which I should win. I cannot work due to illness outside addiction. I get the sense that many on this SR site were not low bottom drunks. Yes there is a difference.
I feel for you. You are wrapped in finger pointing and anger. The affliction lashes out hoping to derail your sobriety. Hang in and maintain sobriety for yourself.
It gets better. It gets easier.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Hi Justfor1. Congrat's on your thirty days. I'm right behind you
with 27. I have a bunch of those unpaid hospital bills. I don't
know how much I stopped counting and like you don't ever
have any hope of paying them off unless I win the lottery.
I'm waiting to go to court for a Drunk in Public because I evidently
attacked a cab driver in a blackout. I have no memory of this an
came to on my birthday. I had decided to go out after work that
night to have a couple of glasses of wine. I guess I'm grateful
I'm not facing assault charges. At least I don't think I am. I'm terrified
to look at the police report so will be going into court March 2nd
without having a clue as to what will be going on.
My son's still love me, but I have pushed them away and every
other person that has tried to get close to me these last few years,
either through my drunken behavior or my guilt as to how I behaved
drunk.
I'm afraid to get my mail and haven't for months on end. We have
a communal mailbox system where the post office delivers to a
main box with all the neighbors in the same box. I leave my mail
for so long that the Postman gathers it in a box and leaves it on
my porch. Pretty pathetic.
I could write two more pages on what qualifies me on the low bottom
vs high bottom drunk continuim. I don't think it matters really.
I don't know exactly what I'm getting at here. Maybe it is I have
hope that I can turn things around and make a good life for myself
even though it is such a mess. Maybe under all that anger and pain
I read in your posts you do too. I understand your anger. Sometimes
I get so angry, mostly at myself, I feel like I am burning red hot. Maybe you do too.
I'm not going to point my finger at you and if you say your thirty days
is no big deal to you, so be it. OK enough rambling from me. For some
reason writing the above gave me a feeling of release. For this I thank you.
I hope you keep coming back here. I hope you take a look
with 27. I have a bunch of those unpaid hospital bills. I don't
know how much I stopped counting and like you don't ever
have any hope of paying them off unless I win the lottery.
I'm waiting to go to court for a Drunk in Public because I evidently
attacked a cab driver in a blackout. I have no memory of this an
came to on my birthday. I had decided to go out after work that
night to have a couple of glasses of wine. I guess I'm grateful
I'm not facing assault charges. At least I don't think I am. I'm terrified
to look at the police report so will be going into court March 2nd
without having a clue as to what will be going on.
My son's still love me, but I have pushed them away and every
other person that has tried to get close to me these last few years,
either through my drunken behavior or my guilt as to how I behaved
drunk.
I'm afraid to get my mail and haven't for months on end. We have
a communal mailbox system where the post office delivers to a
main box with all the neighbors in the same box. I leave my mail
for so long that the Postman gathers it in a box and leaves it on
my porch. Pretty pathetic.
I could write two more pages on what qualifies me on the low bottom
vs high bottom drunk continuim. I don't think it matters really.
I don't know exactly what I'm getting at here. Maybe it is I have
hope that I can turn things around and make a good life for myself
even though it is such a mess. Maybe under all that anger and pain
I read in your posts you do too. I understand your anger. Sometimes
I get so angry, mostly at myself, I feel like I am burning red hot. Maybe you do too.
I'm not going to point my finger at you and if you say your thirty days
is no big deal to you, so be it. OK enough rambling from me. For some
reason writing the above gave me a feeling of release. For this I thank you.
I hope you keep coming back here. I hope you take a look
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
Congratulations on 30 days. Most people are thrilled with 30 days because it was something they struggled with and had a hard time achieving. Some have many false starts. To most, it is a big deal. Each sober day is a big deal to me.
Yes, many of us have wreckage from out past. I sure did and it took many years to clear up. I was one of those people that had to file bankruptcy. I did it, I got through it, and the only reason why is because I got and remained sober. Yes, I was harassed. I would get up to 16 calls a day, many of them in Spanish. I never quite figured that one out. They are doing their job and want their money. I owed it to them, but could never pay it back. I helped create the problem and had to do what I could to fix it, not blame.
30 days is quite an accomplishment, but there are no guarantees. Staying sober takes constant diligence and gratitude. I hope things work out for you. There is a solution.
Yes, many of us have wreckage from out past. I sure did and it took many years to clear up. I was one of those people that had to file bankruptcy. I did it, I got through it, and the only reason why is because I got and remained sober. Yes, I was harassed. I would get up to 16 calls a day, many of them in Spanish. I never quite figured that one out. They are doing their job and want their money. I owed it to them, but could never pay it back. I helped create the problem and had to do what I could to fix it, not blame.
30 days is quite an accomplishment, but there are no guarantees. Staying sober takes constant diligence and gratitude. I hope things work out for you. There is a solution.
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