Kjell

Yes! What Eddie said.

My earlier post might have come across as a bit rude and if so, I apologize.

AA saved my life, but I had to be willing to listen to their direction. I also had to humble myself and realize that I don't know anything about being sober.

...and I had to be honest with myself or at least start.

Thanks for posting this today.

Let us know how we can help.

Kjell

NLOL

The criteria for alcohol dependence is in the DSM IV. Since I meet it, I am stuck with the label. I don't like labels, but apparently Drs and insurance companies and people in AA do. I don't mean to be glib, but I really do not like labels. As a result of these labels, I am not medically insurable so it's a real ouch to me.

The two words alcohol dependent and alcoholic can be used interchangeably. I prefer to stick with the DSM IV as my primary stuff is psychiatric and the alcohol stuff is secondary. Well, actually and to be technical, it's co-occurring or comorbid. I hate having all this stuff wrong with me but it is what it is. Hope this answers your question. Thanks for asking.

NLOL

No worries. It did not come off as rude. It just made me wonder if I had not explained myself well enough.

I do appreciate everyone's input. I also agree I tend to over analyze things. I am just afraid I am going to make a bad situation worse if I am not careful in how I approach this. I cannot afford for things to get much worse. I already only get out of my house twice weekly and that is only to volunteer and see my therapist. It would help to get out more often and force me to do the other things I mentioned.

I'll just give it a try and if it seems to make things worse I can always not give it another try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say.

Kjell

That's a GREAT start.

Let us know how we can help.

BadCompany

No, no, no, nope and nope.

Never tells you not to drink either.

julez

Hi.
Start listening for the similarities. Read, listen to speakers, go to meetings, and don't react to the differences you may have with an alcoholic. See what you have in common, have done in common, or have felt in common.
Then you'll know.

Veritas1

I would be careful with this declaration to only do the program that is in the Big Book.

How did the first 100 do the program when the Big Book didn't even exist?

They didn't only do what was in the Big Book as it wasn't written!

Many things are not in the book. Does it mean we don't do them? No.

Be careful with a decision to only do things your way, or what you think is the "right" way.

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has followed "our" path...

This path was laid out before the book was written.

Bill referred to Ebby as his sponsor even though you may not find it exactly spelled out in the book. One alcoholic helping another.

If we look for what is not there, and hang on to it as a reason not to do it, we may miss much good and helpful experience, strength and hope.

DayTrader

I have to agree with what's been posted.

The minute I start setting rules on what I will / will not do, how I'll do thing, when and if I'll do them, and so forth.........that's the time I'm back running my life. In the first step, I'm reminded (when I have the humility and honesty to admit it) that my life is unmanageable (when it's being run by me - drunk or sober).

Since my life's unmanageable, I need new management - a new employer....and He calls the shots from now on. It's up to the God of my understanding to determine what I do, don't do, when and if, etc - it's just up to me to DO it......... otherwise, I run the risk of getting back the life I left before I got sober.

shaun00

I went to the chiropractor this morning.......i asked him, "when i can go back to the gym"....he suggested leave it for 2/3 months.

The guy know what he is talking about..and is qualified to make suggestions and i know from experience that if i ignore the suggestions....im gonna regret it..

Those drunks made those suggestions because they knew what they were talking about and were qualified to make them.....they had exhausted every avenue to reach those conclusions.

That said....being a drunk that knew all the answers....i saw suggestion as a secret word for "take what you want and leave the rest".....i was not even aware i was doing it to be honest..

Finally after much research involving ...drink and go mad, or stop and go mad.
I was approached by a guy that literally saved my sorry little rear end.
He suggested we go through the book together and do all the suggested "stuff"......and that maybe i didnt know it all....in fact i knew jack sh@t.

Faced with all bridges alight and burning.......and every avenue exhausted.
i did the work suggested in the book and recovered from alcoholism..
No special "add ons" and nothing taken out of the mix.....

looking back i see how my ego, inflated to elephant size blocked me from seeing the truth....which was i was a sad lonely drunk without a clue.

i dont know if that helps much.........but its all the experience i got.

alaina742

Hi there. I highlighted several things in your post for reference.

If you are bipolar and on a mood stabilizer (lithium, Depakote, etc) it is so important NOT to drink, as I'm sure you are already aware. It's not just a matter of the medication not working if you do, but you can cause serious (and possibly irreversible) liver damage. Not that I'm a doctor...but I was on those for a while and had to get the liver blood work and all so I know how serious it is!

Drinking does make everything worse...it's a depressant and it will not do anything positive for anyone's mental health!

If you are in a treatment program for your MH issues, see if they offer meetings at that site. When I did a partial hospitalization program for MH/addiction issues they had comprehensive services for people who are both addicted and have MH problems. They encouraged meetings and had a few a week on site, which were filled with people who have both issues. They were "traditional" AA meetings but it was a good network to meet others who had the same kinds of issues.

I agree with what others have said- read the Big Book. It's not the most exciting reading material but it's important. I think they have it on audio as well if that would be more easier for you to do- some people are audial learners.


The "rules" of AA aren't that bad TBH. There's always "rules" when you stop drinking- better to play by those ones than take it from a probation officer or judge later on down the line. AA doesn't "force" you to do things- if you want to get a chip, great- and if not, then don't. It's designed for people who don't really like "the rules" and so forth (again, read the Big Book- they describe the traits that lead us to drink!) so it's not difficult. No one will tell you to do anything that isn't for your recovery and in your best interest (i.e. working steps, going to meetings, suggestions, etc.)

Boleo

LOL! I love it BadC!

This supports the idea that there are no "Musts" in the Big Book (actually there are over 80 of them). If a person is looking for a license to slack-off, diplomatic immunity or a "Get Out of Jail Free Card", the short form of tradition 3 does the job.

Access to meetings just requires a body, recovery requires "action and more action".
(page 88)

omegasupreme

No "musts" in the BB, that always makes me laugh.

NLOL

Thanks for all your thoughts and the time you took to type them out. I understand you all have your own opinions and I have mine too.

My primary concern is to not drink so as to not mess up my liver and let the meds work. Secondary to this, I want to not isolate. That is really my agenda. If this isn't what others want, that is ok. They can do things their way and I won't try to change what they do.

I pay a very high priced shrink and will follow his direction. And I have a therapist who has gone through a terrible depression herself and come out on the other side. I guess you could say these are my version of a higher power. I am not big on the God thing and, quite frankly, think if there is one he or she has far better things to do than intervene in my life - like taking on the big issues on the planet and in the galaxy (or is it galaxies?)

After reading so many comments that I should follow other people's directions in the group, I think I may not attend AA after all. I don't like conflict or pressure or people thinking they know me better than I know me and have enough on my plate as things stand. I don't think it is a good fit for me after all and I don't want any more problems than I have. Just being honest and just sayin'.

AW2486

Follow your heart.. Alcoholics Anonymous will always be available to you if you have a change of heart.

Tommyh

why don`t you attend AA long enough to get to this spot


If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

quotes from the 1st edition big book

CarolD

Wishing you all the best that sobriety offers...

We are all aware that AA is not for everyone
that too is in our BB.

You might want to post in our Newcomers or Alcoholism Forums
to find others who are not useing AA..
There are many SR members who are using various ways to be sober.

alaina742

You are basing your opinion on AA off of this forum. This is a bad idea in so many ways I don't even know where to begin.

If I had come to this forum first, I wouldn't have ever gone to AA either. I'm certainly not going to gain any popularity by saying this- in fact, if past posts are any indicator, it will be ripped to shreds within hours in ways that demean me as "selfish" and not working a "real" program. Whatever- have at it...

It's the Internet, I think it just comes with the territory. Everyone is an expert, everyone knows best, and people tend to be far more critical and more direct way than they would ever be in real life...and if they are the same IRL...well then...

HOWEVER...this attitude is NOT AT ALL what I encountered in AA. People were honest, yes. They told me what they did to get sober and how their lives are now. They didn't "force" me to do anything...they made suggestions. It's not like people are going to gang up on you and force you to leave if you don't do things "their way." Just GO to a meeting, sit there and listen. Watch how the people interact with each other. Try to find similarities in what they share. People will most likely approach you as a newcomer, but not in a pressing or critical way. If you don't want to talk, you don't have to. If you don't want to say I'm an alcoholic, you don't have to.

In my experience, no one will say much of anything negative to you...unless you are outright defiant and fight-starting, you have a right to come in and listen. After the meeting, ask questions to people. If you are respectful and willing to at least listen, there won't be any "confrontations" or attempts to change who you are (the good stuff anyway )

It just irritates me when random people think someone isn't "right" for AA...who is, really? First and foremost, it's not a fraternity where we get to choose our members. Secondly, ALL OF US came in the door at a weak point in life...most alcoholics don't like to be told what to do, and many struggle with the concept of a higher power. If NONE of these people ever went to AA...there would BE no AA. The point is to go, see what it's like (it's free and one hour of your life- what do you have to lose?) Stay and try to meet people. Read the literature. Listen to speakers. THEN decide if it is for you.

You don't have to be 100% willing when you walk through the door- most aren't. The CHANGE comes from BEING in the rooms, and in the program. I was an ornery annoying person in early recovery. Now, 7.5 years later I am a lot different. Not everyone is that "easy" newcomer to work with- But still an alcoholic in need.

People in person will most likely get this and will embrace you and share their own experiences in getting sober and working the program and finding a higher power. You can learn so much from the people there.

Please try to get to at least one meeting, preferrably a newcomers meeting, before you "decide" AA isn't for you. I can almost guarantee you will be pleasantly suprised. Good luck!

Mark75

Nice post alaina...

uncle holmes

The first thing you need to do is get an AA Directory in your area to find out where the AA meetings are. You can get a Directory at your local AA Central Office or at an AA Meeting.

If you want to be an AA BB purist, then I would suggest starting off going to BB Study meetings only. At these meetings the topic is always on something in the BB. This would also be your best chance of getting a sponsor who will guide you through the BB the way it's meant to be.

Personally, I only go to meetings now where there's either a BB study or 12 & 12 study, or meetings where they really focus on a step. One meeting I go to is the 11th step every week. We sit in a cozy room with couches, the lights turned off and some candles lit, and we start the meeting with 5 minutes of silence while we meditate. Then we talk about the 11th step.

I've become more selective of the meetings I go to over the years. Not that there are bad meetings. It's just I too like to eliminate the BS and go to meetings where they focus more on the BB.

cabledude

Odd set of questions for someone who knows nothing about AA, and the first newcomer that I've seen be so devoted to the founders.

People do show up and not take steps or avail themselves of the help a sponsor can give, and (assuming they make a year or two) not take a cake, or do the silly chip thing, and say something other than the normal way to identify oneself in meetings, and go to less than X meetings (whatever X is)...happens all the time.

You won't stand out at all, and need no approval from anyone to do this anyway you want to. Unfortunately it's what most people do, coming in for their first time.

If you actually want to do what the founders and the book suggests, that would entail some action, which again you need not do if you choose to go against the book and what works best for most. No rules at all, and no one can compel you to do anything.

Pretty cool, eh?