Learn2Live

Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives our to the care of God as we understood Him.

Could someone please share about how they understand what this means to them? Because my idea of what this means is about organized religion. Thank you.

CarolD

We do have a Step Study Forum you may not have noticed

Step Study - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Me? I am grateful I returned to my childhood Sunday School
God of love and forgivness

Organized religion is not a problem for me...however it is not how I work AA.
I connect daily to God and AA to keep my recovery growing.

UniqueNewYork

Sorry I chuckled a little when I read your post. I see this over and over. Sometimes I have even seen it openly in meetings.

AA has nothing to do with organized religion or cults, unless you let other people in AA suck you into those things.

Thats my opinion.

Both online and in meetings I have seen people say "but I refuse to believe in something based on this hypocritical religion". I have seen people pray to the wind, or pray to electricity, reasoning that these are higher powers that we understand. I have no problem with this. I always think back to the native americans. Before most of the rest of us arrived, they seemed very at peace with the earth. The Iroquois for example believed in "a monotheistic belief in an all-powerful creator known as the "Great Spirit", or "Ha-wen-ne-yu." The Iroquois believed in the constant superintending care of the Great Spirit. The Iroquois failed to see the need in developing a detailed conception of their creator. This knowledge was thought to be above and beyond their capabilities to understand. His power was administered to the material world through "a class of inferior spiritual existences, by whom he was surrounded."" (REFERENCE Summary of Native American Religions )

Lets be honest most of us landed here because of the flaws of the human condition, whether it be things humans around us did to us or flaws within ourselves that we did to ourselves. So if you are like a lot of people and think that organized religion is a system developed and written by man it would be tarted to rely on this system to create divine intervention in your life to keep you sober. That said me personally I have chosen what passages in the bible don't make sense to me (i.e. stoning women or outcasting homosexuals) and I just don't count these as part of my higher power's plan. This is very taboo to say in America, but until my higher power sends me a message that I can interpret, I don't believe Jesus saved all of us of our sins. I believe my higher power wants me to do that for myself through amendments and living a good life. I have asked my higher power I choose to call God to send me a message if the Jesus part is something made up by man or if this is part of his plan. He has not sent me said message yet, so I cannot include it as part of my plan, because it doesn't make sense to me and its my belief that man most likely wrote it into history. I would love to believe in Jesus I just need the message from my HP, not the flawed people roaming the earth.

So anyway, step 3 is not so much about religion as it is surrender. Its about saying hey I can't do this thing without help and I mean the biggest help in the universe.

Finally I leave you with a couple of my heroes and the reason is this. I don't think any of these people (Team Hoyt and Pat Tillman) are/were motivated exclusively by organized religion for their actions (Especially not Pat). They definitely have had strong beliefs that drove them to do superhuman things. Thats what this is about. What do you believe deep in your heart to be right.

Team Hoyt
YouTube - Team Hoyt - Dick and Rick Hoyt

Patrick Tillman
YouTube - Pat Tillman Tribute ...live it like Pat!

LexieCat

I don't go to church, myself, and my attitude about organized religion is that most of them have bits of the truth, but the REAL Truth is something that cannot be grasped by humans.

I don't worry about understanding the particulars of religious dogma--those are matters of individual conscience--if the dogma makes sense to you and you find it comforting and healing, then it fits your understanding. If not, you can certainly recognize and accept that we are all subject to Powers greater than ourselves. That we as individuals don't understand exactly how they work doesn't mean that they don't exist and don't have power. I enjoy reading about quantum theory, but I don't even come close to understanding it. And physicists are working on the Theory of Everything (that supposedly would explain everything that happens in the universe) but I don't think they will ever get it either--not completely.

I've been practicing a lot lately the idea of letting go and turning the details of how things work out over to my Higher Power (which I call God, though I don't know what God "looks like" or how he/she/it works), and I can say that when I do that, I get through what I need to get through in much better shape than when I try to control all the details.

An understanding that non-specific is all that is really needed to get started. I keep an open mind and trust that I will understand what I NEED to understand, and not necessarily any more than that. I don't need to understand automotive engineering to drive my car every day. I understand just enough that I need to to maintain the car (it needs the oil changed periodically or bad stuff will happen--I don't need to know the exact way the oil circulates or anything), and the basics about how to operate it, but I don't need to know more than that to have the car get me where I need to go.

Learn2Live

Thanks everybody. I guess what I want to know is, in what particular ways do people choose to turn their will and lives over to the care of God?

UniqueNewYork

Thats a really good question that makes me think. I can only tell you how I interpreted it. Every day of my life.. I have a choice. I can do the right things or I can do the wrong things.

I would say I come to two decision processes on a daily basis that tie in. The first is a very moral one. I have a friend and without going into a lot of detail, he chews tobacco and has unprotected sex with new partners. Recognizing these can both be the end of him, I work to try to get him to move away from these behaviors. This morning, my dad mentioned he would be doing yard work. Its my day off. I offered to do the work in his place or assist him. I really doubt my answer will be the best one on this.. but my interpretation was to take the flag my higher power has given me and charge into battle. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting and hoping. I am the one who is empowered! I am the one who can make a difference in my life and the lives of those around me. But I can only do it sober and fighting on my higher power's side.

The second decision process is much more logical. On a daily basis I am making decisions that propel me the right direction. I work 9 and 10 hour days and sometimes on Saturdays. Things like going to the doctor when something is abnormal with me, instead of taking a I-don't-care attitude about these things. For me its about saying hey I think this is what my HP wants for me, and then doing it. It could even be picking up the phone and reconnecting with someone I haven't talked to in 5 years that I heard through the grapevine is going through tough times. All that weakness in the past that kept me tucked away in my room in my own world, or drunk in a bar trying to connect with people, I remove it.

Its like that MLK jr quote I think someone put on here a while ago: "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase". That quote summarizes what the step means for me to a T!. It means no more working my butt off praying someone will notice. I work my butt off because I will notice and my higher power will notice. Just what I believe.

Learn2Live

Thank you UniqueNewYork. That DOES make sense to me. You got me thinking... I think I need to sit down and write out some of the ways I do try to do what I believe my HP wants me to do.

LexieCat

What I do, is when I feel overwhelmed by a problem (this often arises in my work environment--too many different people demanding the same thing at the same time), instead of getting in knots over it (my go-to response), I try to consciously shut down for a few minutes, breathe, and say, "OK, I don't know how this is all going to work out, but help me to do what I need to do." And what tends to happen is I will get started on what suddenly seems to be the logical starting point, and somehow, stuff happens along the way that results in my getting it done. Not always perfectly, but well enough for what I am responsible for.

The result is much less stress for me, less time wasted going in circles in my own head, and the work getting done.

Boleo

I you think AA is a religion? No religion would tolerate the lazy-bums and con-artists in my home group.

If you think AA is a cult? No cult would tolerate the cheap-skates in my home group either.

If you think AA is organized? No organization would tolerate the chaos in my home group.

P.S. I am the co-founder and part-time chair-person in my home group LOL!

EricL

[QUOTE=Learn2Live;2864047]Thanks everybody. I guess what I want to know is, in what particular ways do people choose to turn their will and lives over to the care of God?[/QUOTE

My experience has been that the best indicator that I have turned my will and life over to the care of god, is that I am going on with the rest of the work. I see people get really hung up on this, when really it is fairly simple. I don't have to have a firm understanding of my god, I simply have to acknowledge its presence in my life, and understand that building that relationship is the entire point of working the 12 steps. Step 3 is simply the beginning of this relationship, a relationship that ebbs and flows like any relationship. But, I learn through the 12 steps not how to avoid drinking, but how to foster this relationship, and how live my life in a spiritual manner. By doing this, god removes my alcohol problem from me.

Veritas1

I have learned one interpretation as this:

Made a decision to turn our will (our thinking), and our lives (our actions) over to the care of God (care...for fixing and repair...like when we take our car in for repair, we leave it in their care for fixing and repair, but we don't give them our car, we get it back after it is fixed)...

God can be something bigger than you, like your understanding of your God, or if you have no God as in religion, it could be the group of drunks, like a power greater than yourself, a group of sober members of AA.

I make a decision...with a sound mind, free of alcohol, that my ideas, my thinking, my actions haven't worked...new...nothing else worked...

I go to AA...I concede, I admit, I come to believe this could work for me, I could be restored to sanity, which means not drinking, as insanity was repeating the same thing over and over again, drinking.

I now make a decision with a sound mind to trade in my old ideas for new ideas, to turn my will and my life over the the care of something bigger than me...God...as you understand God to be...

How do I do this? I show up at AA, and listen, and learn. I ask for help. I say show me, teach me, help me, take me through the book, help me work these steps, and take the action to get this spiritual awakening so that I don't have to pick up a drink.

That's what turning my will and my life over to someone else's care means...I can't sort out my affairs, my life is unmanageable while drinking, and now that I am not drinking, I begin to turn to the sober members of AA, and my understanding of a power greater than me, and/or my God to help me, direct me, lead me. This requires faith, belief, hope, willingness, openmindedness, and action.

I get out of my own way. I change. I stop doing what I have always done. I try things that people suggest to me. I take direction and do what is asked of me. I stop fighting everyone. I get humble and teachable. I am willing to go to any lengths to get what they have. Sobriety.

I would suggest reading We Agnostics.

Many things in that chapter come to mind.

"Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God."

"To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men."

"When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God."

"Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him."

"You can join us on the Broad Highway."

"With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you."

artsoul

I was always a bit put off by the way Step 3 was worded (sounded too much like a Baptist altar call for my liking!).....

All you can do really is to ask the question and keep your mind open.

My idea of God these days (it's been through a lot of morphs!) is probably more like the Force than the images I had as a child. It seems to me there is an intelligence (and they've already shown this to be true down to the particles in an atom) that drives life. Furthermore, I believe it to have a purpose that I would call "love" but obviously beyond what we imagine to be love. Another way to think of it: Everything is energy...... and it's totally interconnected. There is so much going on that we can't understand or perceive, that it seems logical to say there's more going on than our sense tell us.

So, when I trust or pray or ask something of this God/Force/Love (which isn't necessarily "out there" apart from me), I'm setting my intention on allowing something new to happen within me. I'm saying "I don't have all the answers." And in my experience when I do this, things DO change.......

It's about seeking truth.... But, not like "knowledge" - it's more about finding that certain things ring true and resonate inside me in a deep way. When I know that I know that I know, that to me is receiving direction from my HP.

I don't know if this opens any doors to you, or has you scratching your head (!) - I just wanted to suggest that there are many ways approach the idea presented in Step 3, and when/if you find answers, it will be YOUR answers.... so keep seeking!

Learn2Live

THANK YOU!! This really makes sense to me.

Learn2Live

No I didn't mean any of those things at all. Sorry if I offended. What I meant was, the way I interpret Step 3 has always been that it meant I had to be religious, or join a religion, or do what religious people do. Which is pretty confusing because there are so many religions and they all have their own ways of practicing religion. Thanks for sharing.

Antiderivative

Step 3 is another ego deflating step. It is realizing that "Our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so."

Looking back on my life, this is certainly true. Most of my troubles arose out of myself. They were my own making. Not only was I behind most of my troubles, I also exacerbated them.

Step 3 only requires a decision . For example, if you decide to buy a house, that doesn't mean your bought a house. Additionally, it is a god of your understanding, not someone else's god. Surrender as much of yourself as you understand to as much of God as you understand.

I do not pretend to understand god or know of god. However, it is my understanding that I turn my will and life over to doing the next right thing with honest and healthy motives. For instance, when I come to a cross road that requires a decision, I ask myself, "What is the next right step?". I do not ask myself, "What do I want to do?". Doing what I want to do and doing the next right thing are not always congruent.

Sometimes I know what the next right things, sometimes I need the help of others to figure it out, and other times I simply do not know. However, I always know what not to do, which is go back to self-destructive insanity.

24hrsAday

yeah.. i surely do not Understand God.. but, like Anti was just saying "My Way" was what got me into A.A. in the First place! i turn over my life to the Care of God. One day at a time!

Learn2Live

I guess this is like something I learned in AlAnon which has stayed with me all these years. I learned to picture physically placing the alcoholic or addict in my life in a giant pair of hands that came from the clouds. Sounds kinda fruity but it has worked for me several times. I guess I could imagine placing myself in those hands. That picture makes me cry. I don't know why. Maybe I don't deserve for God to care for me.

24hrsAday

Yes you do Learn2live..

Veritas1

I was just listening to Joe and Charlie talk about step 3.

Charlie said step 3 is only making a decision.

The beginning of the recovery program.

The first two steps were concessions, no work involved, and now we begin at 3 with making a decision.

That all we are asked to do here is make a decision.

The rest comes...

Interesting...

MrDavid

Thanks...LearntoLive for the topic.

When discussing the topic of God or Spirituality I usually like referring to the second step principle for Help. Here is the principle: Humility and an open mind can lead us to faith and every AA meeting is a reassurance that God can restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to him" (Excerpt from the12&12)

The reason why I refer to the second step principle and not the third has something to do with wording that’s all. It says and I quote “Humility and an open mind can lead us to faith”. Faith is spoken here in general terms and can comprise many facets and sects not just ones associated with a specific religion.

I have many friends in AA who come from different backgrounds and different beliefs. I respect their decisions to purse whatever spiritual avenue they choose that can help them sustain a quality of life and ultimately sober living –one day at a time.

Some of these friends are profound atheists who claim no affiliation at all. They use the collective knowledge found in the rooms of AA as the God of their understanding. There are others, also, who worship idols and demigods and those too who confess a more natural holistic approach to faith. There are others -Like myself - who found comfort and peace under the loving arms of a savior called Jesus Christ. The key here is that we build upon some altar to a better life and do so by any faith building prospect possible, as long as we do this to improve our spiritual state, of course, and do it without imposing those beliefs on others.

The point I’m trying to make is simple…There a many avenues leading to a faith that works and by choosing a “God of our Understanding” that aligns that faith to his/hers will is one of the key components to spiritual renewal. This renewal -I believe- can awaken our senses to the prospect of a better life one day at a time.

~God Bless~



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