BoozeFree

These past couple days have been a bit of a struggle. I still don't have any clue how to handle any type of emotion that I feel. Ever since I was little I remember always having this wall up. I never have felt comfortable talking to friends or family about stuff. Its frustrating to me bc I cant figure out why Im like that and wish I had friends that I felt comfortable talking to when feeling down or dealing with whatever, instead I just keep holding everything in and its really starting to get to me. Today all I can think about is how I just wanna go use and drink just to get away from myself for a little bit, but I know I would regret that tomorrow morning. Even posting how I feel on here is hard for me. I still have been isolating myself like I did when I was drinking and stuff and find myself feeling super lonely and wanting friends to hang out with since almost all my drinking friends have ditched me. Its crazy how even after all the damage my drinking has caused I sit here thinking how nice it would be to get wasted and numb myself. I know drinking isnt that answer but I also don't know how to go about dealing with emotions and feeling bummed without using or drinking.

Danae

Hi,

Glad you made the effort to come and post today. I'm sure folks will have some good thoughts for you.

I too am still isolating. But at least I feel it now as a problem, before it was just normal. I think that's progress---or at least I hope so.


Hang in there.

D

LexieCat

How about hitting a meeting? Since you referred to "using," either NA or AA.

Isolation is dangerous for us, I think. Our own heads are dangerous neighborhoods to hang out in.

CarolD

One big plus about useing NA/AA ...you can find friends
who understand.. and who share your goal of sober living.

My AA friends are interesting and fun...we do all sorts of
things outside of meetings....and we continue to move forward.

least

I agree totally with this. But once I changed myself into a decent person it's not such a bad neighborhood after all...


I don't know the answer for you BF, I only know it isn't drinking/using.

Dee74

It takes time and effort to get to know ourselves and be comfortable with all that were are BF

I think it's entirely natural to feel discomfort about a new way of life, and experiencing so much emotion.

Like others here, I agree that isolation can be dangerous tho. It's kinda like sitting there waiting for something bad to happen, y'know?

I think it's important to be proactive. Our new life will be what we make it.

I hope you can get out and do some things - maybe meet some people...if you're at all amenable to the idea of AA it sounds from what others have said it might tick a few of those boxes....

Keep talking here too BF
D

BoozeFree

I agree about isolating being bad. I have tried a couple different AA meetings but never got that into it. Posting and reading stuff here on SR is what has been keeping me sober. I think instead of wanting to run away from whatever I may be feeling I need to just let it ride out. I need to work on being patient and realize that everything isnt going to just change over night and that its ok to have an off day.

marni

Today all I can think about is how I just wanna go use and drink just to get away from myself for a little bit, but I know I would regret that tomorrow morning you're so right!

keep it simple and focus on one day at a time
l find when my emotions are all over the place and my inner voice is in overdrive if l journal and write down these thoughts it gives me more clarity and puts them into perspective.
As suggested a meeting might be a really good idea, gives you a safe place to go and listen to others who are exactly where you're at today.
Hope this helps.

Though no-one can go back and make a new start,
anyone can start from now and make a new ending.
carl Bard

MsCooterBrown

Booze...sometimes it helps just to take a walk..get out! Go to a park...I don't have a dog but I see alot of people feeding shelled peanuts to the squirrels. Just something to do..do some shopping...take a hot bath and go to bed early. Sometimes..if you really don't feel like going out..lay around in your jammers and lose yourself in a movie. Tomorrow is a brand new day!! I hope it is better for you. If you really think about it..the bar is not a fun place to be. Hang in there...

artsoul

I tend to isolate, too, although I've always been that way. In high school I sat up in my room and taught myself guitar. I used to read a lot, and am always working on some kind of project. I like doing things, I guess, and it keeps me pretty content.

One thing for sure: staying sober is the only way to grow and have new things come into our lives. If we drink, we might miss out what tomorrow could bring......ya know? Give it time - and yes, it's perfectly normal and OK to have off days and feelings.

Dee74

I'm a pretty shy reserved kind of guy - I'm not unfriendly but I have pretty strong boundaries - and that's ok.

I have learned though that it's important to be connected, in some way, with other people. SR is great - but if you think you need more contact...whatever that might be... go out and look for it BF

D

LaFemme

If AA isn't your thing have you ever considered counseling? Its been a very positive tool for me_

Mark75

It sounds to me like you have untreated alcoholism. Get recovered!! Sitting alone, at home, thinking about how nice it would be to get wasted isn't getting recovered.... You are lonely and you pity yourself because all of your drinking buddies have ditched you...

Then later you say your just not that into AA... fine, ... I'm not try to promote it, but there are rooms full of people out there, who are in fact out there, to be there, for you, if only you reach out, and get off your @ss and go.

IDK, if you continue to feel this way, kinda lost and lonely... well, lets just say that recovery is not just gonna come along and bite you in the @ss... Early sobriety sucks, no two ways about it and I've been there too and I never made any progress unless I did the work and made it happen, and I had nights just like the one you are havin'... there is a solution...

joedris

Like Mark said, give AA a little more time and go there with an open mind. You really can't learn about the program sitting in a couple of meetings. If you want help you'll find a room full of people who are there for that purpose. But ask for help, they're not mind readers.

Isolating is the worst thing you can do. And riding things out rather than running from problems isn't an answer. You have to learn to deal head on with your problems, not ignore or run from them. You also need face to face interaction with other alcoholics and the support that comes with that interaction. With that support you'll find the solutions to your problems of dealing with your emotions. So I suggest you return to AA for a while and give it a chance. If you eventually decide that it isn't for you, then have a Plan B in your pocket. There are other programs out there.

bettterlife4me

BF - I also have emotions all over the place. I live alone and in my early sobriety am also struggling somewhat with feelings of isolation. Actually, I'm not sure what the hell I feel since I've been numbing myself for 28 years. Still trying to figure it out. I really don't know who I am sober.

I have been journaling some which seems to help just to put my feelings on paper. Also just started reading "The Language of Letting Go" and I can really relate to what I've read so far. Don't know if you've read it or not, but might be worth checking out.

Hang in there my friend.

cabledude

Doesn't look good, my friend. Reality all the time 24/7 without the relief of alcohol leads to conflicts that alcoholics eventually have to drink away, to get along and keep going. That's why people relapse back into drinking.

It's not a problem with booze at all. Those who have to drink again just are signaling they don't yet understand what they are dealing with. You, like the rest of us need some relief from your emotions and a way to correct your perceptions. Otherwise...

Tough it out as long as you can, or maybe get some help before you have to drink.