whenartdeparts

Well... currently I'm on my 2nd week sober, god knows why I relapsed in the first place after doings so well for 2 months. But yeah, all is good on the alcoholic front, I don't have cravings, or anxiety attacks and ******** like that...
However, I find myself being annoyed with the world lol I've never been more angry in my life! The smallest of things get to me... It's nerve-wrecking.
And my boyfriend annoys me the most. I've been fighting for my sobriety here like a bloody Spartan and he....he just started drinking more. I've always said that he does have the kind of psyche that can lead him to "become" an alcoholic like me ...and frankly, he's on the way to prove me right. Wtf....I don't want that kind of atmosphere around me. And every time we're together he still asks me if I want a beer. The mofo just doesn't get it, does he?? lol Oh, and of course, he will always say "you're not really an alcoholic" and will blame me for exaggerating my condition. Like....seriously, after the amount of time I've spent lost in a drunken haze, after the things I've done while drunk and most importantly - after seeing me in severe withdrawal, damn, I had a ******* seizure!!! How can he dare say I'm exaggerating my condition, what kind of world does he live in? Maybe he's saying it because if I am an alcoholic that means that he is too aha! And yes, I am a full-blown alcoholic. Many other things too but most importantly - a full-blown alcoholic. In recovery.
Sorry for the rant but it's either I write it here or shout it at the person I described above.

invisigoth

Rant away...its does a body good to just let it out.

GettingStronger2

Rant and vent. The early days, irritation is quite normal. I know i wanted to crawl out of my skin with it. It will pass, don't worry about it.

LaFemme

Rant to your hearts content....However, it might be a good time to evaluate why you are with the boyfriend...just saying

Congrats on 2 weeks!

MsCooterBrown

LaFemme has a point...I am thinking you have no support..and he upped the anti in his drinking to get you to join in..he doesn't wanna lose a drinking buddy! Happens all the time. A sabatoge to get you to drink again.

Good job on 2 weeks.

whenartdeparts

yeah I agree, it is a sabotage.... he probably feels less guilty for drinking if i am drinking too..but that's his problem. i can't relapse again. i just can't.
and it truly is time for some evaluation. i've finally realized that there is nothing, NOTHING more important than my sobriety because without it, I, myself, am nothing. so if it turns out that something needs to change or end (like my relationship for example) in order for me to stay sober, then...oh well, let it change, let it end and let me remain sober. Amen lol.

CarolD

I did dump my still drinking lover of 5 years to protect my
early fragile sobreity.....I also noticed we had little in common
without the bond of alcoholism.

I've thrived...he survived as far as I know...

Anna

I think you have the right attitude about doing whatever it takes to stay sober.

Early sobriety is a very vulnerable time, and your main focus should be on yourself and not worrying about your boyfriend. Things may work out, or not, but as you said, you need to stay sober.

CarolD

Pancakes62...welcome to our recovery community...

Thanks for sharing part of your story with us...I hope
your sobriety is running smoothly now...

Pancakes62

Thanks. I'm doing pretty good. I had lost track of how long I was sober when I had a date with a girl I had been in love with forever. She bought a few shots and I took one for the team and drank them. I didn't want to come right out and say sorry I'm a stupid drunk and I can't drink these. I'd say within a week I was back up to a half a liter a day again. I quit again and luckily it wasn't as rough as the first time. That was the first week of Dec I believe.

I couldn't have done it without this board. I seriously thought I was dying until I read this board and all the posts that literally took the words right out of my mouth on every detail of drinking.

ReadyAndAble

No need to apologize, whenartdeparts, because that was an awesome rant! By the end I was ready to accept that beer he offered you, and promptly pour it on his head!

Seriously though, you sound strong in your recovery. Don't let anything or anyone get between you and where you want to go.

You just took the words out of my mouth, Pancakes. I feel the same way.