On my own
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sac
Posts: 3
On my own
So today marks two weeks for me.. Feeling very good about it however I am own my own in a city with no family / support system and the majority of my friends are all big drinkers. I have not committed to a program (AA) as my anxiety has been very bad and for some reason I am frightened. I am dedicated to staying sober I want it very badly but I am concerned I may slip up because holing myself up at home will only work so long... I am not a good lone homebody. A recent split with a longtime significant other who I relied way to much on for company has been difficult. Obviously going out to bars (which is how I would socialize in the past) is not at option at this point...
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Congrats on two weeks.
I did it on my own, without AA. But there are other recovery programs that provided the tools I use, and a lot of wisdom in the Big Book. One hundred and thirty days sober.
You don't have to hunker in your bunker, but if it keeps you sober, I'd advise that you keep doing so. When you can venture out without triggering the urge to drink, then do so. Good luck.
I did it on my own, without AA. But there are other recovery programs that provided the tools I use, and a lot of wisdom in the Big Book. One hundred and thirty days sober.
You don't have to hunker in your bunker, but if it keeps you sober, I'd advise that you keep doing so. When you can venture out without triggering the urge to drink, then do so. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 71
Changing your life is very frightening, but the very best thing you can do for yourself is get into a good program and actively work it. It will help you also meet others who are in similar shoes and who were scared when they started getting sober and having to deal with reality and recovering people.
I wish you all the best. I know what it's like to be in a town where you don't know anyone and feel all alone. And I know what it's like to be fresh out of a long-term relationship that you relied on for so many things. But one thing about recovery is that you have to learn to stand on your own two feet and do what's best for you.
I wish you all the best. I know what it's like to be in a town where you don't know anyone and feel all alone. And I know what it's like to be fresh out of a long-term relationship that you relied on for so many things. But one thing about recovery is that you have to learn to stand on your own two feet and do what's best for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Welcome!!!
I did it on my own. I walked through the doors, sat down and discovered there were a lot of people there just like me.
And along the way, have given people rides, made coffee, stood up in front of a group of them and told part of my story. Felt anxious from time to time, btw.
That was round about 1500+ days ago.
I did it on my own. I walked through the doors, sat down and discovered there were a lot of people there just like me.
And along the way, have given people rides, made coffee, stood up in front of a group of them and told part of my story. Felt anxious from time to time, btw.
That was round about 1500+ days ago.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 22
Good Job on making it to 2 weeks. That's more than I am at right now!
It sounds like you should find something to do. I'm pretty much alone too but I kind of like it that way and it's by choice. For me my alcohol cravings are caused by the outside pressures from others, or at least that's what triggers me to "take care of myself" and go out to get wasted. Maybe you can find some new things to do to keep you occupied.
Instead of taking care of myself by drinking what I am trying to do is do it in other ways. I live in downtown San Diego, so here it's really nice to ride a bike around downtown or over to Point Loma along the cliffs and beach. I guess it depends where you live but holing up and hiding isn't going to improve your self confidence any. Getting out to meet new people, windowshopping, check out a bookstore, just stay out of the bars.
I think that just going ALL OUT on other things to replace the drinking and a failed relationship might be a good idea and helps take away the anxiety from sitting idle imagining how it would maybe be OK to have just a couple drinks because you are lonely.
For me, being a tech freak guy, I grab my camera and a couple lenses, get my heart rate monitor and bike computer and ride my bike around town for hours finding things to take a picture of or places to shop and talk to the people working there. When I get home my bike computer connected to my home PC tells me that my heart rate is improving from what it was when I was drinking, I mean A LOT in a short amount of time. Something like that takes the focus off of you being alone and bored, instead find something you like and put everything into that.
If you find something you really like to do then start investing in that to replace your drinking. Of course if you are broke then that isn't going to work but you can always get a 2nd job to pass the time and it can be something that puts you around people. My father quit drinking years ago by working at 7-11 part time in the evenings and at an ice cream store even though he was a professional and everybody asked him WTF was he doing?
In short, lol, maybe you just need to think about new things to do with your time.
It sounds like you should find something to do. I'm pretty much alone too but I kind of like it that way and it's by choice. For me my alcohol cravings are caused by the outside pressures from others, or at least that's what triggers me to "take care of myself" and go out to get wasted. Maybe you can find some new things to do to keep you occupied.
Instead of taking care of myself by drinking what I am trying to do is do it in other ways. I live in downtown San Diego, so here it's really nice to ride a bike around downtown or over to Point Loma along the cliffs and beach. I guess it depends where you live but holing up and hiding isn't going to improve your self confidence any. Getting out to meet new people, windowshopping, check out a bookstore, just stay out of the bars.
I think that just going ALL OUT on other things to replace the drinking and a failed relationship might be a good idea and helps take away the anxiety from sitting idle imagining how it would maybe be OK to have just a couple drinks because you are lonely.
For me, being a tech freak guy, I grab my camera and a couple lenses, get my heart rate monitor and bike computer and ride my bike around town for hours finding things to take a picture of or places to shop and talk to the people working there. When I get home my bike computer connected to my home PC tells me that my heart rate is improving from what it was when I was drinking, I mean A LOT in a short amount of time. Something like that takes the focus off of you being alone and bored, instead find something you like and put everything into that.
If you find something you really like to do then start investing in that to replace your drinking. Of course if you are broke then that isn't going to work but you can always get a 2nd job to pass the time and it can be something that puts you around people. My father quit drinking years ago by working at 7-11 part time in the evenings and at an ice cream store even though he was a professional and everybody asked him WTF was he doing?
In short, lol, maybe you just need to think about new things to do with your time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sac
Posts: 3
The reason I am really stressing today is I committed to go to a dinner party tonight. I was thinking I would be ok knowing people would be drinking there but I am now having second thoughts. Problem is, it's with my small group of friends (drinking buddies in reality) I have established here. I am frightened that if I now exile them I will be completely alone. I know the correct choice is to just not go and deal with the backlash I will receive. These folks have no clue as they are all still in their little wet world...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by ultracar 
I am not going.. sent the text I am going to bite the bullet and just accept that I can no longer be around them. It has to be done.. For me..
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to sR.....
One of the benefits of attending AA for me was to enjoy
activities with new sober friends.
You get no extra sober points for insisting on being alone
with your sbriety.
Glad you have 2 weeks.....
Now...please go another step and stop isolating.
One of the benefits of attending AA for me was to enjoy
activities with new sober friends.
You get no extra sober points for insisting on being alone
with your sbriety.
Glad you have 2 weeks.....
Now...please go another step and stop isolating.
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