April999

I was 2 days shy of 6 months sober, and I drank. I went to a pool tournament out of town and was okay the first day, and then the second day (after the tourney was over) I had a beer, and then I had about 6 more. I can't say I enjoyed it enough to continue drinking though. I know pool is a trigger for me, but it is something Im very passionate about, and have been playing competitively for 10 years. I have managed not to drink at pool league, but I guess I wasn't ready for a tournament yet. I guess I kind of felt this relapse coming for awhile now. I've already told myself that I can't go to Vegas to compete anymore, but Im not ready to give up pool, infact I dont want to, its very much a part of me and one of the few things Im good at. Its been about 5 days now, and I haven't drank. Sometimes I feel like this disease controls me even when Im not drinking. I guess all I can do now, is learn from this. Just felt like I should admit to my relapse, instead of pretending it didn't happen.

SSIL75

It's important to be honest. Glad you're back on the proverbial horse.

TheEnd

So what do you plan to do about this??

Dee74

Hi April

I enjoy music - listening and playing - so sometimes I have to go to bars.

It's not a problem for me anymore - I don;t enjoy being around drunks but I've done the work, and I really want to be sober - I'm absolutely comfortable being a non-drinker.

It took me a while to get there tho - I stayed away until I was sure nothing would threaten my new way of life.

Reading this tho - maybe this isn't so much about pool as it is about you?
You said 'I guess I kind of felt this relapse coming for awhile now'.

I used to feel them coming too - like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a hurtling semi trailer...but if I've learned one thing since, it's that I don't have to relapse - ever.

When you feel yourself slipping, I really feel that's the time to redouble your efforts.
Reach out, find support, and yeah maybe stay away from the pool tournaments if you're feeling vulnerable.

6 months is a great achievement. You can do it again - and more

Welcome back
D

April999

Try not to let it happen again I guess.

gr8ful42day

:ghug3 Thank you for the courage and honesty in your post.

Just put one foot in front of the other again

AmericanGirl

April -- I'm glad you got back here so quickly. I don't know what you typically do but perhaps if you do go to a tournement again you can set up a clear escape plan if you end up feeling that way again.

CarolD

Welcome back....

I've been to all sorts of events ..parties and "happenings"
since I began my AA journey...and came home sober.


Glad to see you again

April999

Thanks everybody for your support. I haven't drank since and hope to stay sober. This support group is a great thing, it really is!!!

LaFemme

Hi April! Thanks for your honesty I have been wanting to get back into sailboat racing but the crowd tends to be hard drinking so I understand some of where you are coming from. Here's a question (sorry if its ignorant....I know nothing about competitive pool)...are there any sober tournaments?

What kind of work have you been doing since you got sober 6 months ago? Are you in a program?

Thanks again for your honest post!

Xo,
LaFemme

Kmber2010

April I am glad you are back and don't get down.....you had 6 beautiful months and I know you can do it and make it a lifetime.

In the beginning it was a bit rough doing things sober so I avoided things at first that I felt may compromise my recovery.

What I found is that any and everything can be done sober.....no booze required. Like others shared.....if it is too much then leave. There is no shame in that.

I actually don't play pool really - more a dart person but have gone to the pool hall a few times and drank my ginger ale/sprite can while others drank and I left sober.

You can do this and the fact you are back my friend speaks volumes. You say you will learn from this and that is important. When I relapsed.....I found the one area I had not continued work on was me and that I had to focus on my recovery and utilizing the support available and too add on to that with face to face support.

Keep it going!! We are here for you.

April999

I don't think there are any booze free tournaments. Im not in a program, but I have some older friends who are recovering alcoholics and I use this site a lot. I know that I should have face to face support as well. After this slip up, Ive been thinking about it more. I've been focusing on keeping my apartment in order, and having structure and organization, working full time, and being financially responsible. I have an employee assistance program that I should be utilizing. Thanks for the support.

Toronto68

April, that update sounds good to me.

Have you talked about the recent tournament with one of these older recovering alcoholics and heard what they think about this trigger? Do they have anything to do with billiards?

A lot of people say that it's important to make a lot of changes in what you do with yourself, short-term and long-term, and whether it's mundane everyday stuff or special events. I wouldn't necessarily ask you to drop the tournaments or the game itself, but as you work on this, you might come up with more ideas on what needs to be done to make it so that triggers are not successful.

In my case, I don't always think I have done enough to change, and am mindful of the potential I could be reaching if I did. In other words, sometimes I think I am "just functioning satisfactorily" and could be doing better.

Good for you for working at it again and keep going.

Krang

Thank you for the honesty and courage in your post.

Don't give up on anything you love doing. You'll get through this and we're here to help!

tooling

Be careful at this point.

I was sober for 3 months and felt that I could handle to get buzzed up one night and then go back to soberness.

Well it lead me right into my drunken self for 5 months!

I am now pulled out of that again at 4-5 months sober now and I know from experience I cannot drink at all. I even avoid foods cooked in alcohol.

Richard56

I played eight ball every weekend with a buddy once.
We could beat anybody. Really.
We'd hold that table all day long.
Free drinks for the winner.We won.
We had a pretty much free ride till we crossed the border.
We played a guy who had one arm.
He and his partner totally wiped the table...the 'unarmed'
guy made the best shots.
Don't know what I'm geting at really....trying to stay sober i guess.
That 3 month, or 3 day, or 3 minutes.... can be a real bitc^.......