foghead

Im almost 4 weeks sober and really struggling today. Boxing day is the day everyone goes out and im stuck in the house with my mum watching tv. I know i cant go out because i WOULD drink plus i have not bought any new clothes recently. I feel a mixture between...feeling pissed off...jealous that everyone else is out having fun and slightly down. I feel drink punishes me even when im not drinking. I know its still early days yet and these hard days will show up every now and then and when they do its a real struggle but i promised myself i would not give in to improve my own will power, confidence and self belief. I just wish i had a friend who was in the same situation as me, we could go out and understand each other and still have fun, i feel like a recluse at the minute but i felt like that when i was drinking too. I have to admit though that im starting to understand that good days always follow bad days and my anxiety has decresed extreamly. Im either bouncing about in my hyper cant shut up way or walking about being pissed off with someone. Strange times

Lushwell

One of the actions I needed to take, and changes I needed to make was to fill time that had been previously used to drink. In my early days of sobriety, that usually meant going to AA meetings. Being with AA people. Doing AA things. They stressed to me to re-direct my attention. Sometimes I had to be reminded every few minutes.

As far as having a friend "in the same situation", I don't know if that is a good idea or not. Having a friend who has been where you are, and made the transition to a stable, sober lifestyle seems to me to be a person that might be of more value to you. Those people can be found at Alcoholics Anonymous. If you go where they go, do what they do, you'll get what they got. Stable, sober, reasonably happy and productive living.

Or you can sit there and shiver.

Isaiah

Possible suggestion...? I don't know the Boxing Day traditions but I know that on like St. Patrick's Day (an even bigger celebration/drinking day in the U.S. than Ireland itself so I've heard rumors) I have had to learn to turn down the invitations out with people.

So what I've done is made up my own tradition and my own day to celebrate. I take March 4th, which is St. Casimir's day (patron of Poland and Lithuania, where my heritage lies) and I nominate that a holiday for me and invite the people I know into celebrations that are "sober safe." Usually going out for or hosting dinner, a dry party, etc.

I mean, it's probably no consolation for today. I'm sorry you're having a boring time while others aren't, but I think you're doing the right thing by putting your sobriety first. There is no steadfast law that says you can't protect your sobriety and have fun, but if the fun is getting sloshed at a pub then it's wise to pass.

CarolD

Ive found my AA friends like to do many things ....
together we enjoy them and help each other stay sober.

please continue your sober journey...you are already getting benefits.

foghead

AA were i live has a very bad rep . Im currently seeing a counseller which is helping alot. I guess i just needed to get what was in my head out into words. When i wake up tomorrow feeling fresh i will think of all those people who were out tonight feeling like absolute crap and wasting half a day with a hangover .

Kmber2010

Fog, I find writing to also be beneficial. Just sharing or writing it out helps me through it. I have my ups/downs but now I have positive means of working them out. I keep it simple that I won't drink and then I work my recovery and use the tools I have learned.

I'm glad you shared and feel better. I can tell you that we get stronger as we move forward and all these things we go through are building blocks.

Way to go!

jackthedog

Sounds like you are doing a great job of keeping your thoughts where they will help you most! I have a 13 year old son and if he were where you are now and posted this, I would feel proud of him, as I am of you. Getting out those feelings really helps, so keep doing what works for you!