tooling

This is kind of a weird question and I assume more might not have, but I could be wrong.

I actually wanted to see what it was like to be drunk as much as possible. I don't know if it was from watching that movie "Arthur" or from seeing some of my relatives drunk when I was a kid.

I always considered myself someone non-entertaining unless I was around only certain friends where i could be my goofy self.

It wasn't until when I hit the year 30 that I decided it was time to just drink all the time. It wasn't an accident, I just did it. And I enjoyed it until my body said stop.

It is unequivocally unmatched as the stupidest thing I ever did in my life. It doesn't make you a better person or funnier all the time, but it does kill you all the time. The party is over thankfully!

ZZworldontheweb

I don't think I planned to be an alcoholic per se, but I did make the conscious decision to drink without regulating the amount for the specific purpose of getting drunk. I thought it was awesome the way alcohol disconnected the part of my brain that gave a darn about whatever imperfect situation happened to be bugging me at the time. I didn't have any experience in my family with alcoholism so I didn't realize how stupid this was nor how difficult it was to stop once you got past a certain level (that level being one drink, I suppose, if you're an alcoholic).

least

No way did I plan to end up an alkie. I started innocently enough with just one glass of wine in the afternoon but within months I was drinking all day every day. Quitting was the best thing I've ever done for myself!

johndelko408

Not at all. My parents are alcoholics and I swore to myself I'd never be like them. Well at 29yo I'm an alcoholic and I can never be a normie again. I'm in recovery so even though I'm going to eventually die with this disease, I choose to die sober; hopefully no time soon.

BullDog777

it was the plan from day 1.


i just didn't understand how bad it would become because i really feel like it was almost romanitcized in almost all forms of the media in the 90's.
from movies and TV to grunge and metal...if you had a problem, just grab a bottle and brood.

same with my family...if you were sad, mad, happy, whatever...just grab a bottle...no need to talk about any of it.

i had quite an appetite for destruction. wait ..isn't that an ablum? :rotfxko

tooling

I really hope you're okay. I am lucky to not be dead myself.

Even though i started off to see what it was like it sucked me in and chewed me up and spit out 8 years of my life. That I can assure you wasn't planned no way.

You are right. It's made to look like the cool thing to do. It's like it's a different playing field where healthy people destroy their bodies and have fun. Then some people wake up out of that lie and stop like us.

I was into metal bands all of my life and i really never abused alcohol that bad all my 20's. I certainly made up for it in my 30's.

hellochickee

Not at first.

But I clearly remember a point at which that changed and I specifically bought alcohol with the intent to change my emotional frame of mind. And that is when the alcoholic drinking began.

I never drank to get drunk, that just happened because that's what alcoholics do...keep on drinking. The first one for me is always to change the current emotion that I'm feeling: I feel good, I want to feel even better, I feel sad, I want to feel happy, I feel anxious and I want to feel calm.

jamdls

I was a very depressed individual and very self destructive and I knew it from the time I was probably 14-15, I did not expect nor want to live past 25-30 and I set out intending to destroy my life. If I'd had access to drugs I'd have likely gone that route instead of alcohol but alcohol was just too easy to get especially since at the time the drinking age in Florida where I was living was 18. So I wouldn't say I set out to be an alcoholic but I did intend to destroy myself with alcohol, thankfully God stepped in and said enough.

TheMaster

Actually, I guess I did set out to be one, sort of...

I never drank in moderation, I drank until I passed out.

To me, drinking in moderation was stupid (and still is).

When I was young, I did it with my buddies, who did it the same way...

As I got older, I shut myself indoors at home, to be "safe."

It's only when I got really worn down that I even considered stopping. This current time, I had something physical happen to me. Oddly enough, the booze-induced depression wasn't enough to make me stop...

Vision trouble is another matter. I'm terrified of going blind or being in any other debilitated condition. I would rather just drop dead...

Zebra1275

No, this was not one of my life goals.

But now that I've accepted that it is one of the cards I have been dealt, I'm dealing with it.

loveon2legs

I guess I did...I never drank in moderation either...I just didn't expect to have alcohol ruin so many things....in my drinking days alcohol was my friend...always there whenever I needed it...then it turned on me....and yet I still wanted it....just like my past relationships!!! so I drank and drank...crashing cars,ending up in the hospital..and finally the DUI....Being sober is a hell of alot easier for me than being a drunk!!

Azreal

I don't think I really cared. I'm in the car business, which is a stressful business. I kicked back at night and relaxed with a drink. This was about 10 years ago. It's just progressed since then. I liked that it relaxed me and made me carefree. It's taken hold since and turned into something else that I wasn't expecting.

I think both of my parents are alcoholics and I know my grandfather is, all of whom are in the car business (go figure). I've watched my dad battle silently against it saying things like, "I'm taking a break from alcohol for a while." He's been successful for periods of time, but he always goes back to it. My mom doesn't even try to hide it. She just drinks slowly and constantly and enjoys it. I don't really know where they are at with their drinking, but I KNOW it's an issue for them both.

ItsMe23

I didn't plan on being an alcoholic, but i certainly set myself up for some ugly times. When i was around 14 and started smoking pot and drinking, i realized how "cool" it was. But in my mind i wanted to try more and more things, went through an a to z list of drugs, found some i liked some i hated. I just didn't care about anything in my teens, except getting messed up/high/ whatever.

Somewhere in my late teens i reconnected with alcohol and i realized how much i really enjoyed it, so just like every other substance in my life, i started taking it to excess.

sable1

I allso didn't expect to live past 25. I basicly didn't have the balls to kill myself and get it over with but when I found alcohol I realized it was everything I had been missing in my life. I fell in love really hard. Being an alcoholic or not wasn't something I worried about, just that I had been miserable in life and now I had found something that made life so much more beautiful.
Like jamdls I was on a mission of self destruction. I had access to almost any drug though, but I always preferred alcohol, my most loyal friend, so I never got really into drugs.

sable1

[/QUOTE]It's only when I got really worn down that I even considered stopping. This current time, I had something physical happen to me. Oddly enough, the booze-induced depression wasn't enough to make me stop...

Vision trouble is another matter. I'm terrified of going blind or being in any other debilitated condition. I would rather just drop dead...[/QUOTE]

Likewise, I wouldn't have thought about stopping if it wasn't for these things. It suddenly dawned on me that there are a lot of things worse than death that can happen to me.
I didn't think about that when I was younger, I just thought, well if I die than that's that. I didn't thing about all the sickness and disabilitys that can come before death.

AlcoholicOrNot

No, definitely not planned but more or less, my destiny. I've got a family full of alcoholics and as such, alcohol has always been such a large part of my life. Didn't really start until I was a junior in high school and my father told me I could drink in the house as long as I replaced what I drank.

From the beginning, I was aware that alcohol was going to be trouble for me. Even during my first year in college, I unsuccessfully tried to stop. It's taken me over 20 years to get where I am today.

I feel fortunate and relieved - but my "guard" remains up.

Antiderivative

Yeah, it was somewhere on the list between doing laundry and picking up milk and bread.


Looking back on it, it was pretty inevitable that I was going to become an alcoholic. Once I picked up, I was off to the races. For instance, I was drinking between a 1/3 to 1/2 of a half gallon of vodka a day during the summer time as a junior in high school. I loved the stuff and couldn't enough of it.

I got my first DUI when I was around 20 or 21. During that time, my P.O. asked me a series of questions, in which I answered honestly. I didn't think I had a problem and thought my behavior was normal. She was a little shocked and surprised at my answers and told me that I had a serious problem. Of course, I didn't believe her at the time.

There might have been a small window of opportunity for me to not become an alcoholic (if I didn't overindulge cocaine, which exacerbated my drinking), but this might be an optimistic statement. At best I would have been a serious problem drinker. I would have never been a social drinker.

Zencat

Me too. I didn't care one way or the other. I was having fun back then and thought drinking was something that I could manage. Boy was I wrong .

smacked

Nope.. doesn't matter to me anyways, all I have control of is what I do next.

I made a conscious choice to drink what I drank, snort what I snorted, inject what I injected, etc etc..

Now I don't.

MsCooterBrown

Never a plan..From early on I loved alcohol and couldn't get enough. I surrounded myself with drinkers. We were all on a mission..It was only after losing close people that didn't make it out before dying..and when I started to lose the happy..and gain the crave..and the feeling of insanity.. then I knew I had to get out of the insane cycle. Toss in the alcoholism in my family..I was hell bent. Now..It simply is no longer an option for me to drink. It no longer serves any purpose in my life.