Did you plan to be an alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
In the early days, I think I did think that way. It worked. Whether it really was there, waiting to come alive all along, I don't know. I can only go by what did happen and work from there. So far so good and there's more to go.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I didn't plan on becoming an alcoholic, no.
I did choose to drink a LOT with the idea that I would start to drink like a normal person when I had kids. I enjoyed drinking and saw no harm in it. I thought non drinkers/moderate drinkers were lame and boring and that the health risks were overstated.
It was news to me (this year) that I cannot drink like a normal person although on some level I've known I've been way too 'into' booze forever.
I did choose to drink a LOT with the idea that I would start to drink like a normal person when I had kids. I enjoyed drinking and saw no harm in it. I thought non drinkers/moderate drinkers were lame and boring and that the health risks were overstated.
It was news to me (this year) that I cannot drink like a normal person although on some level I've known I've been way too 'into' booze forever.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by BullDog777 
it was the plan from day 1.
i just didn't understand how bad it would become because i really feel like it was almost romanitcized in almost all forms of the media in the 90's.
from movies and TV to grunge and metal...if you had a problem, just grab a bottle and brood.
same with my family...if you were sad, mad, happy, whatever...just grab a bottle...no need to talk about any of it.
i had quite an appetite for destruction. wait ..isn't that an ablum? :rotfxko
i just didn't understand how bad it would become because i really feel like it was almost romanitcized in almost all forms of the media in the 90's.
from movies and TV to grunge and metal...if you had a problem, just grab a bottle and brood.
same with my family...if you were sad, mad, happy, whatever...just grab a bottle...no need to talk about any of it.
i had quite an appetite for destruction. wait ..isn't that an ablum? :rotfxko
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Great topic. For me, I had to major influences that stick with me. First was my uncle. He was always a successful person. A real "man's, man". He had a professional job, could build stuff, fix anything, had a boat that he kept up all on his own, basically just took care of stuff. As a kid I would spend the night at their house on Monday night's due to my parents work schedule. A highlight of my week was to stay up and watch Monday Night Football with him and my two older cousins. I remember he'd sit in his easy chair and drink whiskey and coke's. He never got loud, never seemed drunk, never said much. Just watched the game and drank is drink. I can still see us all sitting there now, and that was almost 30 years ago. I was young so I had to go to bed at halftime so who knows what happened after I went to bed. Maybe he ended up hammered. I don't know, I do know he has struggled with drinking for quite a while, so my suspicion is he probably did.
It's funny, as I got older and especially in the last 5 years that's how I drank. I went to work, got stuff done, but after dinner, I sat there and drank my whiskey and coke just like my uncle. I stayed "on top" of the family. Getting kids to bed, making sure my wife had what she needed, etc.... but after everyone went to bed. That's when I was able to cut loose. That's when I'd swig it right out of the bottle, or tell myself to drink a beer in less than 10 minutes, or hit so jager... basically I drank "how I wanted to" when I was alone. But in front of my family, I drank like my Uncle.
The other memorable image that sits in my mind. Is the opening and ending scene of the doors movie. When Jim Morrison opens that fifth at the start "No music, no doors"... and at the end of it the fifth is gone. I remember actually wanting to be able to do that. At the end of my drinking career, I had arrived. I too could finish a fifth in a night. Turns out, that's not such a good thing.
I like this topic because it makes me look at the impact I have on my kids. My oldest is only 8 and I tried very hard for him not to know I was ever drinking. I have never been told by him that he ever saw me drunk, but it would have only been a matter of time...
Great post!
It's funny, as I got older and especially in the last 5 years that's how I drank. I went to work, got stuff done, but after dinner, I sat there and drank my whiskey and coke just like my uncle. I stayed "on top" of the family. Getting kids to bed, making sure my wife had what she needed, etc.... but after everyone went to bed. That's when I was able to cut loose. That's when I'd swig it right out of the bottle, or tell myself to drink a beer in less than 10 minutes, or hit so jager... basically I drank "how I wanted to" when I was alone. But in front of my family, I drank like my Uncle.
The other memorable image that sits in my mind. Is the opening and ending scene of the doors movie. When Jim Morrison opens that fifth at the start "No music, no doors"... and at the end of it the fifth is gone. I remember actually wanting to be able to do that. At the end of my drinking career, I had arrived. I too could finish a fifth in a night. Turns out, that's not such a good thing.
I like this topic because it makes me look at the impact I have on my kids. My oldest is only 8 and I tried very hard for him not to know I was ever drinking. I have never been told by him that he ever saw me drunk, but it would have only been a matter of time...
Great post!
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
In a word "No". I don't think anyone sets out to be an alcoholic. I keep reading on here that people drank huge amounts so they were destined to be alcoholic. Or was it really that they were already programmed to be alcoholic, so they drank huge amounts.
I mean it's like asking do people plan to be in jail. No, they just got caught doing illegal things, so the end result is jail.
It's almost like the chicken and the egg.
I mean it's like asking do people plan to be in jail. No, they just got caught doing illegal things, so the end result is jail.
It's almost like the chicken and the egg.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by tooling
It wasn't until when I hit the year 30 that I decided it was time to just drink all the time. It wasn't an accident, I just did it. And I enjoyed it until my body said stop.
When I wanted to be drunk all the time, I was just a drunk. When I wanted to get sober, that's when I became an alcoholic. If it was simply a matter of drinking too much for some period of time and then stopping, I would call myself an ex-drinker just as I call myself an ex-smoker.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 64
I certainly wasn't thinking of it at the time. But I guess I did kind of set myself up to be one, from when I was around 9 or 10 until about 6 months ago, I was completely consumed with the idea of getting drunk. Since my first time, I just loved that feeling, and I always wanted it. I was always looking for a way to get drunk, or being drunk. The obsession is probably what did it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 207
Ha! Actually I did, sort of. My friend and I were hooked on this british sitcom about two female alcoholics who drink all day and even though it was pathetic, it seemed glamorous and fun. We turned to eachother one day and literally said "Let's be alcoholics!"
Of course little did we know the real consequences of drinking which the show never revealed. My friend and I are now real alcoholics, she contentedly so, and me have been trying to quit and suffered alot from it.
So the answer is yes, when it looked cool on TV, I did plan on becoming an alcoholic.
Of course little did we know the real consequences of drinking which the show never revealed. My friend and I are now real alcoholics, she contentedly so, and me have been trying to quit and suffered alot from it.
So the answer is yes, when it looked cool on TV, I did plan on becoming an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Canada.
Posts: 88
No. I come from a family of heavy drinkers so I was introduced to alcohol at an early age. Drinking just seemed like an easy way for me to deal with my anxiety. I never knew the damage or impact that it would have on my life down the road.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
If I knew I would become an alcoholic....never ever would have touched the garbage. I stupidly turned to it as a means of coping and handling a rough patch in my life. Because alcohol was such a social thing and really didn't come off as a "drug" per se....well I foolishly thought that my drinking was a far cry from that of the bowery bum.
Truth was there was no difference. I did it and when I did want to stop.....it was too late......and I needed recovery.
I am grateful everyday I am in recovery.
Truth was there was no difference. I did it and when I did want to stop.....it was too late......and I needed recovery.
I am grateful everyday I am in recovery.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Absolutely not. I grew up being harmed and humiliated by an alcoholic parent and swore to never become that way. Unfortunately I also grew up in a family that more broadly believes that alcoholism is a character failure, not a disease, and thus to abstain completely is considered by 90 percent of my family being overdramatic, fussy, ridiciulous : after all, all those people (including my alcoholic parent) really had to do was learn to drink in moderation, and sophisticated people knew how to enjoy martinis and wine etc. If I'd had a sober role model maybe I wouldn't have ended up the same way, but alas, I've lived and learned and I hope to be a model for future generations.
Drugs use I did glamourize some, after i'd started drinking, but never drug addiction.
Drugs use I did glamourize some, after i'd started drinking, but never drug addiction.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
At first, I chuckled when I read the title of the thread..... "Who'd WANT to be an alkie" I thought? Well, I DID want to be a heavy drinker. I wanted to be the guy who could drink all the time, who could out-drink everyone, who would party longer and harder than everyone else. I thought I could find some positive identity in being "that guy."
Like Boleo explained though, all that drinking didn't make me an alcoholic. It made me a heavy drinker.....perhaps an acute-alcoholic. What I didn't realize was, somewhere along the way, I crossed over into real alcoholism (chronic alcoholism) and that's a whoooooole different ball game.
Looking back, I didn't understand the difference. Heh, there are ppl in "recovery" who don't understand the difference - the difference between being a heavy drinker, an acute alcoholic and a chronic alcoholic. But.... had I really "known" what real alcoholism is, I'm pretty sure I would have stopped long before I crossed that line. Unfortunately, it seems the only way to understand what it really IS is to cross the line and experience if for yourself.....and once you've crossed the line there's no going back..... so there's some catch-22 goin' on.
Like Boleo explained though, all that drinking didn't make me an alcoholic. It made me a heavy drinker.....perhaps an acute-alcoholic. What I didn't realize was, somewhere along the way, I crossed over into real alcoholism (chronic alcoholism) and that's a whoooooole different ball game.
Looking back, I didn't understand the difference. Heh, there are ppl in "recovery" who don't understand the difference - the difference between being a heavy drinker, an acute alcoholic and a chronic alcoholic. But.... had I really "known" what real alcoholism is, I'm pretty sure I would have stopped long before I crossed that line. Unfortunately, it seems the only way to understand what it really IS is to cross the line and experience if for yourself.....and once you've crossed the line there's no going back..... so there's some catch-22 goin' on.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 46
Did i plan on being on alcoholic you say? Well of course not, none of us really do. But i think i was the perfect candidate for it. Mentally, i was already depressed and bothered well before i even started drinking (but i wont get into that personal info) so alcohol was like destiny tbh (as sad as it sounds). But i remember thinking to myself that when i turned 21 i wanted to get hammered as i had on some occasions before so i was gonna drink even more when i turned 21. Sure enough i started drinking at age 21, but only a little as my tolerance was low, but as with anyone my tolerance grew and i started drinking more and more.
But i didn't really realize i was a alcoholic until maybe a year later. because i always thought at the time that alcoholics drink for years and maybe i was in a phaze now i know that i am not. I dont really drink when im down though. Liek i dont feel sad and pick up a drink, i pick it up really out of boredom. Ive never really been truly happy in my life (well maybe not since age 12) so alcohol gives a spark to things and makes things fun (the fun i never get out of life).
But the bad part is the mental part of it, when im hungover i get a very very depressed, mean, untolerable feeling and this is part of the reason i refuse to go to work hungover and is part of the reason i have slowed my drinking habits (that and health as i stated in another thread). But i think the key is to value things in life and realize that everyday should be cherished, if i can do that i may be ok.
But i didn't really realize i was a alcoholic until maybe a year later. because i always thought at the time that alcoholics drink for years and maybe i was in a phaze now i know that i am not. I dont really drink when im down though. Liek i dont feel sad and pick up a drink, i pick it up really out of boredom. Ive never really been truly happy in my life (well maybe not since age 12) so alcohol gives a spark to things and makes things fun (the fun i never get out of life).
But the bad part is the mental part of it, when im hungover i get a very very depressed, mean, untolerable feeling and this is part of the reason i refuse to go to work hungover and is part of the reason i have slowed my drinking habits (that and health as i stated in another thread). But i think the key is to value things in life and realize that everyday should be cherished, if i can do that i may be ok.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 197
Good reading.
I ask myself did I really want to be a drunk? If I wanted to be out of my mind and numb then I think that would be considered, yes.
I remember when I was in my early 20's... I was in a metal band. We just got done playing out and we had a party. I went into the bathroom and stood there over the commode with a big beer that tasted great and all buzzed up. I actually smiled and thought to myself, 'this is what I want to do in my life. "
I didn't make that truly happen until 10 years later but it did happen and went on for 8 years.
That's why when I ask myslef, "did I really want that?" I have to think, "yeah I did."
The euphoria... what a thrill.
I ask myself did I really want to be a drunk? If I wanted to be out of my mind and numb then I think that would be considered, yes.
I remember when I was in my early 20's... I was in a metal band. We just got done playing out and we had a party. I went into the bathroom and stood there over the commode with a big beer that tasted great and all buzzed up. I actually smiled and thought to myself, 'this is what I want to do in my life. "
I didn't make that truly happen until 10 years later but it did happen and went on for 8 years.
That's why when I ask myslef, "did I really want that?" I have to think, "yeah I did."
The euphoria... what a thrill.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by TheEnd
In a word "No". I don't think anyone sets out to be an alcoholic. I keep reading on here that people drank huge amounts so they were destined to be alcoholic. Or was it really that they were already programmed to be alcoholic, so they drank huge amounts.
I mean it's like asking do people plan to be in jail. No, they just got caught doing illegal things, so the end result is jail.
It's almost like the chicken and the egg.
I mean it's like asking do people plan to be in jail. No, they just got caught doing illegal things, so the end result is jail.
It's almost like the chicken and the egg.
This resonates with me.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd be an alcoholic. (I was extremely prudent as a youngster) But I think the hereditary and environmental conditions (later on) were ideal for the disease to develop.
However, I don't deny that I consciously drank -- in a self destructive manner -- when I likely still had the choice of stopping. But I didn't realize at the time that my coping mechanism would betray me.
It's all very complex, I think...
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 68
If I could simulate my life many times, I'm pretty sure 99.99% of the time I end up an alcoholic. There was really no way I could have avoided drinking and once it started I feel it was inevitable.
So while I didn't plan on it, I didn't exactly do anything to stop it from happening.
So while I didn't plan on it, I didn't exactly do anything to stop it from happening.
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