Do People "Slip" More During Holidays
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Do People "Slip" More During Holidays
I was wondering if people relapse more during the holiday season? The reason I ask is because people say the same thing during the warm summer months. I know New Years Eve and Christmas were never big deals for me because being around family or people in general help with my sobriety. It was being alone when the thoughts and cravings consumed me.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Holidays were never a trigger for me. What my biggest trigger was is being home alone. Now that I'm a year sober (and happily so) I have no fear of being tempted, in social situations or home alone. So no, the holidays don't tempt me any more than any other day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 98
I always have trouble around the holidays. I've bounced in and out of AA, but I always go back for the holidays, sometimes 2 meetings a day. It's not my ideal program but it really does help alot to have people to talk to and people to call when you feel overwhelmed.
2nd chance at a 1st cl*** life
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Jose, Ca
Posts: 492
The holidays used to be tough on me personally. It's supposed to be the time when the spirit of joy and togetherness is about, but I always felt miserable and would use that as excuse to be alone. For a lot of us we see people just generally happy and we couldn't relate to that. We'd see people with there families and for those that are alone and don't really have family, what are they to do. If you really think about it the holidays are just days, no different from any other. But the whole spirit and mood of it would make a lot of us feel even more lonely and the bottle our only companion. I have real friends now, safe places I can go and hang out, and theres people there that can relate to me. I'm sure I'll get to spend some time with my kids this Christmas, but for the remainder of the time I'll be hanging out at my local Alano Club.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: IL
Posts: 81
I think it all depends on what a persons triggers are. I can be triggered by multiple things, including holidays so I know that I have to be very careful!
Being alone and sad on a holiday can trigger me. Being happy with friends and family who are drinking, therefore, making it socially acceptable for me to drink on that day as well...is a trigger. Sitting around a table eating dinner and having someone pour me a glass of wine/ champagne/ or a bottle of beer can be a trigger.
I'd guess, relapses are more common on the "big" holidays (Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, Thanksgiving (or night before) because there are many loved ones (non-alcoholics) who get drunk those 4 or 5 days a year and invite us to do the same. Little do they know we won't be able to stop once that night is over, that we can't just drink 4 or 5 days a year.
Being alone and sad on a holiday can trigger me. Being happy with friends and family who are drinking, therefore, making it socially acceptable for me to drink on that day as well...is a trigger. Sitting around a table eating dinner and having someone pour me a glass of wine/ champagne/ or a bottle of beer can be a trigger.
I'd guess, relapses are more common on the "big" holidays (Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, Thanksgiving (or night before) because there are many loved ones (non-alcoholics) who get drunk those 4 or 5 days a year and invite us to do the same. Little do they know we won't be able to stop once that night is over, that we can't just drink 4 or 5 days a year.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I'm sure people in recovery have to be extra vigilant during the holidays to prevent relapse, but I don't know if there are any more relapses than any other time of year. I noticed a lot of folks relapsing on SR a couple months back. Can't say it was due to any holiday season. I drank every day for years. So every day holds the same potential for relapse. Dec 12th holds the same risk for me as Jan. 1st or some day next May. On the other hand, binge drinkers may fine "drinking" holidays particulary tough.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
I'm sure people in recovery have to be extra vigilant during the holidays to prevent relapse
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
No man is an island...I'm not longer prone to holidays, or any other time of the year, causing me more trouble than other times - but it took me a lot of work and some time to get here.
I still like to be vigilant tho...my problems not gone...it's deactivated, so long as I keep doing the work, IMO.
That's my experience. The freedom to share that journey here, and let others share theirs, is a wonderful thing
D
I still like to be vigilant tho...my problems not gone...it's deactivated, so long as I keep doing the work, IMO.
That's my experience. The freedom to share that journey here, and let others share theirs, is a wonderful thing
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
My perspective on your question?
The holidays, in general, can be, and often are, difficult for everyone... alcoholic, addict. overeater, gambler, depressive, normal.... Our self destructive behaviors often started as coping mechanisms... for unresolved issues, problems, feelings, expectations... old conflicts, with self, with others.... arise when we visit with others... and can we provide the christmas we always wanted, but never got, to our families, our friends, ourselves?
It's not about the alcohol. It's about me.
Forget the idealized commercial picture perfect christmas... we all know that doesn't happen... but when I was a little kid... it seemed that this christmas would beat all other christmases and that nirvana awaited... jeez, were did that come from? ... it was the implied, almost subliminal, message that came from all the adults around me... at home, at school, on TV (it was black and white back then
)... Tell Santa what you want for christmas...
But all that went away and it wasn't real anyway, ...sh1t... well, pour me another one... lets party.
Yea Carl, we have to be extra vigilant during the holidays, but vigilant over what? All of us, alkies, non alkies, have to deal with christmas. Let's do it right! Be vigilant, be vigilant that we don't let ourselves fall for the impossible visions of sugarplum fairies... be vigilant that we stay true to ourselves, that our expectations are realistic and that we remember the "reason for the season" and be vigilant that we love those around us, even if it may happen to be only ourselves.
The holidays, in general, can be, and often are, difficult for everyone... alcoholic, addict. overeater, gambler, depressive, normal.... Our self destructive behaviors often started as coping mechanisms... for unresolved issues, problems, feelings, expectations... old conflicts, with self, with others.... arise when we visit with others... and can we provide the christmas we always wanted, but never got, to our families, our friends, ourselves?
It's not about the alcohol. It's about me.
Forget the idealized commercial picture perfect christmas... we all know that doesn't happen... but when I was a little kid... it seemed that this christmas would beat all other christmases and that nirvana awaited... jeez, were did that come from? ... it was the implied, almost subliminal, message that came from all the adults around me... at home, at school, on TV (it was black and white back then
)... Tell Santa what you want for christmas...But all that went away and it wasn't real anyway, ...sh1t... well, pour me another one... lets party.
Yea Carl, we have to be extra vigilant during the holidays, but vigilant over what? All of us, alkies, non alkies, have to deal with christmas. Let's do it right! Be vigilant, be vigilant that we don't let ourselves fall for the impossible visions of sugarplum fairies... be vigilant that we stay true to ourselves, that our expectations are realistic and that we remember the "reason for the season" and be vigilant that we love those around us, even if it may happen to be only ourselves.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by keithj
Or, they don't have to be vigilant at all any day, because the problem is gone. Just depends on what you mean by 'in recovery' I suppose.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by Justfor1
I was wondering if people relapse more during the holiday season? The reason I ask is because people say the same thing during the warm summer months. I know New Years Eve and Christmas were never big deals for me because being around family or people in general help with my sobriety. It was being alone when the thoughts and cravings consumed me.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
I think people "slip" more during the holidays because it's a convenient excuse to do so.
After New Year's eve, there will be the few precarious members posting the "day 1 AGAIN" threads, baffled that they relapsed.
It's not so baffling. if people feel precarious during holidays, they ought to take extra measures to make sure they don't get triggered. When you know better you ought to do better.
After New Year's eve, there will be the few precarious members posting the "day 1 AGAIN" threads, baffled that they relapsed.
It's not so baffling. if people feel precarious during holidays, they ought to take extra measures to make sure they don't get triggered. When you know better you ought to do better.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
I agree with what Mark75 said "Forget the idealized commercial picture perfect christmas... we all know that doesn't happen"
The holiday's are not going to be like a Hallmark Christmas card, but many people, myself included, have had unrealistic expectations about the Holiday season. When reality does not live up to your expectations, trouble can arise.
If I get into a "woe is me" self pity kind of mood, there are other variables this time of year which can add to that. In my neck of the woods the days are short and often overcast, I'm stuck inside because of the cold, and I have time off from work. Recognizing all of the above, I've learned things to not let alcohol back into my life. I plan on hitting a few more AA meetings than usual over the holidays.
The holiday's are not going to be like a Hallmark Christmas card, but many people, myself included, have had unrealistic expectations about the Holiday season. When reality does not live up to your expectations, trouble can arise.
If I get into a "woe is me" self pity kind of mood, there are other variables this time of year which can add to that. In my neck of the woods the days are short and often overcast, I'm stuck inside because of the cold, and I have time off from work. Recognizing all of the above, I've learned things to not let alcohol back into my life. I plan on hitting a few more AA meetings than usual over the holidays.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Don't wait, TheEnd... be proactive... what can you do to make someone's, anyone's, holiday a little brighter? It's not about you!
I am not perfect, and I struggle to get outside of myself... but as soon as I get my head out of my own self, things go a little better, brighter... I have to make it happen though. And when I do, it's like, gee, that wasn't so hard...
I am not perfect, and I struggle to get outside of myself... but as soon as I get my head out of my own self, things go a little better, brighter... I have to make it happen though. And when I do, it's like, gee, that wasn't so hard...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Originally Posted by Bamboozle
I guess that doesn't mean anyone here, then, because apparently anyone still at SR needs the assistance to remain sober. I know I need the generous help from this place.
Mind you i guess with the wireless networks available today and an ipad it might be possible...would be a bit crazy though hehe
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Things are different during the holidays, thats a salient point of them being celebrated. If the holidays are just the same as any other day, then something is missing in the experience, IMO.
For me, the holidays were a tough time when i was drinking and that first sober time as well. I was like 5 months and all my ideals of Christmas and NewYears were challenged when i couldn't escape into a drunk. The holiday cheer is keenly felt without the booze and i was surprised to be so overpowered by it. I hung around my sober friends 24/7 and we did fellowshipping and program with each other to get thru it all. Not all of us made it thru. It's not like they didn't try, its just alcoholism is what it is and alcoholics get drunk in and out of the holiday season sadly of course. I did make it thru myself and have ever since that first sober holiday back when. Each year thereafter got easier staying sober and I became more grateful for my sobriety.
So for me the holidays made a difference when either drunk or sober. They still do although staying sober is no longer a problem now. My alcoholism has long been arrested now the problem of being or wanting to be drunk is removed. Vanished. My alcoholism is stopped cold. That stopping was a problem for the first year or so but after that I changed so much that I'm a different person now these many years.
I still remember my past struggles though, and my failures and successes, both in my drinking days and my sober days since. So for me, yeah the holidays were a tough time when drinking and that first sober holiday.
Rob
For me, the holidays were a tough time when i was drinking and that first sober time as well. I was like 5 months and all my ideals of Christmas and NewYears were challenged when i couldn't escape into a drunk. The holiday cheer is keenly felt without the booze and i was surprised to be so overpowered by it. I hung around my sober friends 24/7 and we did fellowshipping and program with each other to get thru it all. Not all of us made it thru. It's not like they didn't try, its just alcoholism is what it is and alcoholics get drunk in and out of the holiday season sadly of course. I did make it thru myself and have ever since that first sober holiday back when. Each year thereafter got easier staying sober and I became more grateful for my sobriety.
So for me the holidays made a difference when either drunk or sober. They still do although staying sober is no longer a problem now. My alcoholism has long been arrested now the problem of being or wanting to be drunk is removed. Vanished. My alcoholism is stopped cold. That stopping was a problem for the first year or so but after that I changed so much that I'm a different person now these many years.
I still remember my past struggles though, and my failures and successes, both in my drinking days and my sober days since. So for me, yeah the holidays were a tough time when drinking and that first sober holiday.
Rob
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by yeahgr8
Not the case here Bam...i come to SR because ive been coming here both drinking and in sobriety...SR is a great support tool and i want to support it, dont want to just drop off and think **** everyone im ok now, but in the real world i can't rely on my posting and reading to keep me sober, how would that work?
Mind you i guess with the wireless networks available today and an ipad it might be possible...would be a bit crazy though hehe
Mind you i guess with the wireless networks available today and an ipad it might be possible...would be a bit crazy though hehe
You're not here at all to maintain your sobriety? Every post you make is altruistic?
I do live in the real world--imagine that. Reading and posting has assisted me greatly, and along with my treatment for depression, my way works for me. I would never have thought to get sober without this place.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,064
Bam, I see SR as a wonderful place to get support too, everyone needs a bit of support. I know I've had some great recovery days and it would be so easy to think Yeah, I've got this down pat, I don't need anything now, I've got it. But those crisis days hit out of the blue and it's when support keeps me strong and I know I'm not alone, I've got backup. The valleys and the meadows of recovery and I've hit a few of those dreaded valleys.
To the OP: yes holiday time is tough, people are thrown into mixes with family members that make them uncomfortable, people are stressed out with finances, holiday preparations, travel.. people are subjected to alcoholic holiday liquids at dinners and parties, people are bombarded with past holidays reminders of better times, of people that have passed that were once with us.. it's a very stressful tough time and it is too easy to slip up with all these factors going on.
To the OP: yes holiday time is tough, people are thrown into mixes with family members that make them uncomfortable, people are stressed out with finances, holiday preparations, travel.. people are subjected to alcoholic holiday liquids at dinners and parties, people are bombarded with past holidays reminders of better times, of people that have passed that were once with us.. it's a very stressful tough time and it is too easy to slip up with all these factors going on.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
I think there a few people in recovery do relapse during the Holiday season. For some I imagine its a very stressful time. Being under high stress and maybe combined with duress could cause a person to be vulnerable to numbing those very unpleasant emotions out with AOD.
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