blissful behaviour
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: pacific
Posts: 11
blissful behaviour
AH has been a shocking drinker for 30yrs - 15 per day.
Since I became ill nearly a month ago, AH has made a real effort with drinking. He's stopped drinking through the week and only has 1 case of ight beer on the weekend. (fine by me)
Its not giving up, but its already made a HUGE difference to our family life, AH and our 22yr old son are actually enjoying each other company, and no-one is in a hurry to get away from him.
During this time he has said that he doesn't want a fuss and he doesn't want to talk about it. The only thing he has said is that he feels better of a morning and his head feels clearer.
He is definately appears much happier, his complexion is clearer, has lost some weight, and is also enjoying socialising.
Its such an unbelievable turn-around, because he had turned into such a depressing, miserable drunk.
My question is this, Is there anyone out there who has experienced this type of dramatic change, and been able to maintain it , without AA's or Professional help.
My guess is that he must have been thinking about cutting down for sometime.
Since I became ill nearly a month ago, AH has made a real effort with drinking. He's stopped drinking through the week and only has 1 case of ight beer on the weekend. (fine by me)
Its not giving up, but its already made a HUGE difference to our family life, AH and our 22yr old son are actually enjoying each other company, and no-one is in a hurry to get away from him.
During this time he has said that he doesn't want a fuss and he doesn't want to talk about it. The only thing he has said is that he feels better of a morning and his head feels clearer.
He is definately appears much happier, his complexion is clearer, has lost some weight, and is also enjoying socialising.
Its such an unbelievable turn-around, because he had turned into such a depressing, miserable drunk.
My question is this, Is there anyone out there who has experienced this type of dramatic change, and been able to maintain it , without AA's or Professional help.
My guess is that he must have been thinking about cutting down for sometime.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi andsoitgoes
I think most people who cut down on heavy drinking would feel better physically and emotionally.
If a carton over a weekend is cutting down, he must have been a prodigious drinker.
I was one of the ones who never stayed 'cut down', and while I don't want to burst your bubble frankly I think it's pretty rare for drinkers like us here to do so.
I hope your husband is different though, and will continue on as he has been recently.
D
I think most people who cut down on heavy drinking would feel better physically and emotionally.
If a carton over a weekend is cutting down, he must have been a prodigious drinker.
I was one of the ones who never stayed 'cut down', and while I don't want to burst your bubble frankly I think it's pretty rare for drinkers like us here to do so.
I hope your husband is different though, and will continue on as he has been recently.
D
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Oh yes. I became a totally different person when I was able to make a solid quit from alcohol. I started to engage people more, I'm getting my sense of humor back, I'm finding myself wanting to be more charitable and giving. I really, really like the person I'm becoming (or the person I'm returning to.)
I'm happy to hear that there has been a change in your husband's condition. That he is still drinking on the weekends is not the most positive sign. If he feels comfortable with his control and you have no objections than I can't pass a judgment. But I would also say to proceed with some caution, both of you, because there's always a possibility for a slip backwards.
I myself went to AA and got professional, psychiatric help when I quit. I might have been able to just do it on my own. Hard to say because I never sincerely tried to quit until I started getting help. Others have done it though. The thing is it requires a sustained effort, a willingness to be honest and open, and it takes coping skills. Those things can come from within, but I found it indispensable to learn from others who were more experienced than I.
I'm happy to hear that there has been a change in your husband's condition. That he is still drinking on the weekends is not the most positive sign. If he feels comfortable with his control and you have no objections than I can't pass a judgment. But I would also say to proceed with some caution, both of you, because there's always a possibility for a slip backwards.
I myself went to AA and got professional, psychiatric help when I quit. I might have been able to just do it on my own. Hard to say because I never sincerely tried to quit until I started getting help. Others have done it though. The thing is it requires a sustained effort, a willingness to be honest and open, and it takes coping skills. Those things can come from within, but I found it indispensable to learn from others who were more experienced than I.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: pacific
Posts: 11
Hi dee,
He was a VERY heavy drinker, he could easily go through, 4 cases a week. Just sat by himself out the back drinking after work, and all weekend.
Although, before the transition I noticed that he was trying to keep himself busy on the weekends, seemingly to try and delay the start of drinking.
One line describes my AH ..... 1 drink was too many ...... 15 wasn't enough.
Now, during the week he is driving to pick up our daughter from work at 9.30pm .... this was NEVER possible before, and he is so happy when he gets home, its like a milestone for him.
Recently, while our for dinner we walked to the restaurant, over the course of the night he only had 3 light beers, then coke. That has NEVER happened either.
I scared to admit that im happy in fear that the bubble will burst.
He was a VERY heavy drinker, he could easily go through, 4 cases a week. Just sat by himself out the back drinking after work, and all weekend.
Although, before the transition I noticed that he was trying to keep himself busy on the weekends, seemingly to try and delay the start of drinking.
One line describes my AH ..... 1 drink was too many ...... 15 wasn't enough.
Now, during the week he is driving to pick up our daughter from work at 9.30pm .... this was NEVER possible before, and he is so happy when he gets home, its like a milestone for him.
Recently, while our for dinner we walked to the restaurant, over the course of the night he only had 3 light beers, then coke. That has NEVER happened either.
I scared to admit that im happy in fear that the bubble will burst.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think we focus on caution here, and thats understandable.
But I think the more your husband is happy and productive, the better the chances are that he'll want to keep what he has, and won't go back to old ways - it sounds encouraging on that score so far
D
But I think the more your husband is happy and productive, the better the chances are that he'll want to keep what he has, and won't go back to old ways - it sounds encouraging on that score so far
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
This is my experience. I drank nearly a magnum of wine every day. One Christmas I was home alone and decided to trim a Christmas tree my brother had brought me. I had stopped drinking red wine because tannic acid made me drunk, lol, but it was Christmas and someone had given me two bottles of very nice Bordeaux. It's festive!
So I opened the bottle and when I came out of the blackout I was in the emergency room at Mt. Siani hospital strapped to a gurney. My stomach had been pumped and half my face was black, probably from a fall. In a blackout I decided to take a nice big bottle of Valium -- to this day, I have no idea why. What saved me was a friend who lived nearby, who had the keys and let himself in when I didn't answer the phone.
It was a terrifying experience to almost die and they kept me for three days. When I got out of the hospital I decided I must stop drinking. So, I limited it to five light beers per day (my idea of not drinking). I did that for a month or so until I couldn't stop at five beers. For me the gig was up .... I understood that I'm an alcoholic and powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable.
So, that was October 12, 1991.
Use my story or don't use it. I was always helped by hearing other people's stories.
So I opened the bottle and when I came out of the blackout I was in the emergency room at Mt. Siani hospital strapped to a gurney. My stomach had been pumped and half my face was black, probably from a fall. In a blackout I decided to take a nice big bottle of Valium -- to this day, I have no idea why. What saved me was a friend who lived nearby, who had the keys and let himself in when I didn't answer the phone.
It was a terrifying experience to almost die and they kept me for three days. When I got out of the hospital I decided I must stop drinking. So, I limited it to five light beers per day (my idea of not drinking). I did that for a month or so until I couldn't stop at five beers. For me the gig was up .... I understood that I'm an alcoholic and powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable.
So, that was October 12, 1991.
Use my story or don't use it. I was always helped by hearing other people's stories.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
My father stopped drinking 20 yrs ago, after a big crazy day with guns, and police, and sheriffs, and suicide attempt, and burning stuff, and mayhem. (Good times)
Apparently, the direct result of being told he would have to be committed and sent to rehab from hospital did it.
Maybe your husband got terrified at you being sick, and being drunk, would not be there for you. Maybe he loves you more than he is able to say.
Apparently, the direct result of being told he would have to be committed and sent to rehab from hospital did it.
Maybe your husband got terrified at you being sick, and being drunk, would not be there for you. Maybe he loves you more than he is able to say.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 166
Glad he was able to cut back quite a bit. I found that I could cut back for awhile but eventually the normal patterns would start creeping back into the picture. This is why everyone suggest 100% abstinence from alcohol for people like me. Once it is out of your system for awhile it is easy to stay away from it. I haven't drank in close to 20 months but if I have one drink, even though I love my life right now, I know it will eventually go back to how it was. This is why I stay away from the first drink. AA helps me do that too. My life would be sh!t if it wasn't for AA.
I would be a mess. AA doesn't work for everyone unfortunately but I am happy it is effective for me.
It is the only thing that really cut alcohol out of my life. In fact, I am going to a meeting tonight.
David.
I would be a mess. AA doesn't work for everyone unfortunately but I am happy it is effective for me.
It is the only thing that really cut alcohol out of my life. In fact, I am going to a meeting tonight.
David.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: pacific
Posts: 11
Update.... AH still doing vey well only drinks a case of light on the weekend. we recently went interstate for work xmas party, in which he drank light. Going out now , he offers to drive. A friend of ours recently left his partner, my AH said that he left so he could drink in peace, he said that his drinking will prob get worse now he is free.
AH still does not want to talk about it nor does he want a fuss, but he stiil maintains that he feels heaps better, especially of a morning.
He said that I wasn't the reason he drank, I don't think Im the reason he has slowed down to a snails pace. He said "the party had to stop".
AH still does not want to talk about it nor does he want a fuss, but he stiil maintains that he feels heaps better, especially of a morning.
He said that I wasn't the reason he drank, I don't think Im the reason he has slowed down to a snails pace. He said "the party had to stop".
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