northland

how bad it hurts me, physical and emotionally, to drink. I just relapsed again, went on a 2 day bender, sobered up, and have spent the last 48 hours feeling terrible. This is why I know I shouldn't drink. I feel guilty. I feel anxious. I know what is right and wrong, and I know it is wrong for me to drink. What will now happen, is what happens every other time. I get to about week 1 or two of sobriety, and I am usually feeling great by that point. And out of nowhere, I get the urge to drink, and I go drink. I forget how bad it makes me feel, and convince myself that it will make me feel better. My memory is non-existent when I get the craving to get drunk. The only thoughts dominating my mind, are "hey, whats the big deal" , "It's your life, have some fun". I need to change my mindset, and I'm looking for some advice on how to do that. When I am sober, and have no cravings, it is crystal clear as to why I shouldn't drink. I know it's wrong, I know I'm alcoholic, and those are the thoughts that dominate. But when the craving shows back up, those thoughts aren't even going through my mind. How can I remind myself when the cravings come, that drinking isn't a good idea.

It's like the devils living inside of me, hiding, waiting. And when the cravings show up, I only hear his voice, and it convinces me that drinking is fine. What do YOU do to remind yourself that you are better off staying sober?

Thanks

yeahgr8

Yeah thats the pattern...if we could change our mindset we would have done that after the first time we felt guilty about drinking...we wouldn't be alcoholics!

AA works for thousands of people, maybe go ask them how to do it? Worked for me too:-)

bellakeller

I don't think it's a matter of right or wrong; Good vs. Bad. It's just that alkies have an allergy to alcohol; when you put it in your body, you have a reaction.

Once you take a drink, you are unable to predict what happens next. Will you stop at one? Will you drink more? Will you get drunk? Will you cause more problems and rack up more consequences for yourself?

Even if bad things don't happen every time you drink, you do lose the power of choice over the matter once the first drink touches your lips.

Sorry you are at this frustrating point right now. Doesn't much sound like sobriety to me; sounds more like torture and I hate it for you. I so have been there. I hope you find some peace in recovery. Rehab, counseling and AA have been helping me. But that's just my own path.

CAPTAINZING2000

Nothing like the look of a deer in the head light for a room full of people in AA.


A relapse doesn't have to be mine for me to learn from it. The first thing I ask someone if, they were going to meetings. Most everyone I've asked that say, they'd stopped going.

While I don't have to go every night of the week now, I still need AA in my life as much as I did when, I got sober years back. . There's nothing a drink will do to improve my day. However, a drink will lead me to a drunk because, I'm an alcoholic.

Once I started liking myself, I no longer wanted to do anything to harm myself or, the people that care for me.

TheEnd

Now is probably a good time to write down exactly how you are feeling so when you get the urge, you can read it and remember how horrible you feel now.

julez

I am very familiar with the alcoholic voice. I heard it, and responded to it, until I started AA. There were times when I could resist it, but until I got into a program of recovery, I couldn't be consistent, no matter what. What is your long term plan? Have you tried anything except abstinence?

Dee74

Once I accepted that drinking was no longer a viable option for me I made a commitment to do whatever it took not to take that first drink.

Sometimes it takes some hard work - reach out, make posts here, call people if you're in AA or some other programme.

Posting here and reading - regularly - helped me to beat the nostalgia or the selective amnesia too - it's hard to argue with black and white recollections detailing just how bad it was last time.

D

CarolD

I wrote down all the horrible symptoms of my de tox
carried them with me......when the urge to drink came....
I read the paper.......
That reminded me of why I don't want that first drink.

You are not allowing yourself time to experience the benefits
of a sober life. Get acquainted with other sober people
who are doing well.
I found those in the roooms of AA.

Boleo

Staying "reminded" never kept me sober for more than a few weeks. Staying spiritually fit makes sobriety a byproduct of something a whole lot bigger than being sober.

Using spiritual principles to just stay sober is like using a Peterbilt to deliver pizza. It works, but is a tremendous waste of potential.

DayTrader

The AA Big Book speaks to exactly this:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

If that's your experience too, welcome to being powerless over alcohol. It's not that we can't control it, we maybe can..........sometimes. The problem is that we can't always control it. If that's the case, then you'll never know when the next moment comes when you can't summon up all those memories and that willpower - and you're going to need some power more than just yourself.

That was certainly true for me.

artsoul

It's hard to remember pain - I usually drank after a couple of sober days, thinking it would be different "this time." I finally got it through my head that nothing was going to change about my drinking. If anything, it would only get worse.

Coming here every day and reading other people's post reminds me of the reasons I really do want to stay sober. Even then there were times in the first few months when I had to wait out the impulse to drink.

Paraffinalien

I had the same problem. It turned out that i had an obesession of the mind that was able to just side step my will power and feed me lies about how i deserved it cos i had a full week dry, or because the big game was on tv, or it was a sunny bbq kinda day or it was raining. Basically i am insane where alcohol is concerned. I am glan i know it today.

Another

What you explain I can relate to totally and in fact is the same exact reasoning I used to allow myself another drink. I believe that a longer time away from the last drink helps this healthy feeling of "I'm ok now" disappear or at least fade somewhat and become less intense. As for what I like to do, Well All I can say is that I know where the road goes and have experienced the journey as much as my body and mind can take.

Another thing I try and keep in my head is that their's much work & understanding to be done and a sober mind is needed to do so. It almost makes no sense to me now why anyone would want to make things more confusing in their lives but that's exactly what we alcoholics do when we drink. A line I've seen written more times than one here is: drinking stopped being fun. While I cannot say this was how I felt after every drunk I can say I knew that it was high time for me to make staying sober my #1 priority in this life.

Even though alcohol is a no no completely for someone who has quit it's the rest of life you can then work on putting into moderation. Growing into a better person is much harder than it sounds I'm finding out and it doesn't leave time for me to over think having a drink to forget everything and only strengthen my weakness.

Thanks for your share and remember your not alone

dbearw

Don't feel bad about it- you're an alcoholic. It's what we do. I still have those forgetful moments, all the time, but I no longer stress out about them. I just know that when they pop up I need to go to a meeting or call someone, etc. Sometimes it's hard, but most of the time I just look at it as the reminder to be involved.

bostonluv

Just wanted to say - feel the same way. My mind goes back and forth and back and forth - seems an addict quality. We just forget how bad it was or think this time.......Yeah. This time - it'll be worse. Hard to remember though. You aren't alone.

Emmy69

Yup, that's the alcoholic brain doing all the talking. I think Daytraders post explained it perfectly.

One of the things that I heard here on SR that helped me was when you have your next urge to drink just stop for a second and "Play that video out to it's conclusion". Really look at it. See yourself in action. You know what's going to happen. And you know that's exactly what you don't want to happen. Sometimes it's only 5 seconds to stop, visualize and remember.

We've all been there, don't beat yourself up. It will happen for you soon!

Zencat

That's how addiction works, overwhelming desires to drink even tho one knows it will cause suffering in the end. Having a treatment plan and support can put an end to all that madness. One good resource is SMART Recovery Tools. There you'll find practical recovery skills that is easy to learn and put into practice.

Also joining one of the Newcomer's Daily Support Threads will help a lot in the daily support department.

For a good overview of addiction click here. Its always good to understand any illness one has.

onlythetruth

When I am sober, and have no cravings, it is crystal clear as to why I shouldn't drink. I know it's wrong, I know I'm alcoholic, and those are the thoughts that dominate. But when the craving shows back up, those thoughts aren't even going through my mind. How can I remind myself when the cravings come, that drinking isn't a good idea.

It's like the devils living inside of me, hiding, waiting. And when the cravings show up, I only hear his voice, and it convinces me that drinking is fine. What do YOU do to remind yourself that you are better off staying sober?

For me, it was helpful to become aware of how the cravings worked, and then PLAN for them. After all, when we're new in sobriety we're going to have cravings. It's not like it should be a big shocker when they come along. Anyway, here is what helped me:

1. I noted when the cravings happened. Turned out, they were more common at the end of the workday when I was hungry. Sometimes, all I needed to do to remain craving free was to have a snack after work. They were also more common when I talked to my mother, so I tried to avoid talking to her if I was already having a difficult day.

2. After I had a few successful experiences with getting through a craving, I paid attention to what the craving was really like. I noticed that the cravings waxed and then waned. SMART Recovery refers to them as being "like a wave". Anyway, the point is that they don't go on forever. They do go away if you don't act on them. They might come right back, but then they go away again. So I used a lot of distraction techniques. It may sound silly but I would call a friend, or go for a walk, read a book (something light...Dave Barry was good) until the craving subsided.

3. I didn't beat myself up when they happened. Like I said, I figured that under the circumstances (25 years of drinking) something would be actually quite wrong if I didn't have cravings. It really helped me to keep in mind that for where I was at the time, the cravings, while extremely unpleasant, were actually normal, and there was nothing in the world wrong with me for having them.

I hope these ideas help you--they got me through the early days. Oh, and eventually, cravings do go away altogether. So you've got that to look forward to!

RufusACanal

northland,

Maybe you are just not done drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous provides a path to a life free from the ravages of active Alcoholism. I pray you find your path.

reggiewayne

Northland. I feel the same way and go through the same thing as well. I've been drinking quite a bit lately and I wake up and say I'm done, but when I get that craving I imeediatly start drinking. They say that if you have a good spiritual condition and go to meetings is the way to combat that. I've never actually tried that, but that's what I've been told to do. I wish you the best - I am on day 1 btw...