northland

how bad it hurts me, physical and emotionally, to drink. I just relapsed again, went on a 2 day bender, sobered up, and have spent the last 48 hours feeling terrible. This is why I know I shouldn't drink. I feel guilty. I feel anxious. I know what is right and wrong, and I know it is wrong for me to drink. What will now happen, is what happens every other time. I get to about week 1 or two of sobriety, and I am usually feeling great by that point. And out of nowhere, I get the urge to drink, and I go drink. I forget how bad it makes me feel, and convince myself that it will make me feel better. My memory is non-existent when I get the craving to get drunk. The only thoughts dominating my mind, are "hey, whats the big deal" , "It's your life, have some fun". I need to change my mindset, and I'm looking for some advice on how to do that. When I am sober, and have no cravings, it is crystal clear as to why I shouldn't drink. I know it's wrong, I know I'm alcoholic, and those are the thoughts that dominate. But when the craving shows back up, those thoughts aren't even going through my mind. How can I remind myself when the cravings come, that drinking isn't a good idea.

It's like the devils living inside of me, hiding, waiting. And when the cravings show up, I only hear his voice, and it convinces me that drinking is fine. What do YOU do to remind yourself that you are better off staying sober?

Thanks