zac33

Well it's day #2 of attempting to regain my life from 23 years of drinking. I sit here alone with the scarce remains of whats left of my life. Minuet by minuet hour by hour hoping that time and will power will get me closer to recovery. Each hour seems to be an eternity! Oh, how easy it would be to get that bottle and drink my troubled feelings away for the night. It's just a short walk to the corner liquor store! I can't! I won't make that walk! I tell myself that alcohol is what brought me to this misery. I had a good life before, family, friends, job and good health. My years of drinking pushed them all away. It's not their fault. They tried to help. It's my fault! I would not accept the fact that my drinking was out of control and I was hurting myself and the people who loved me. I cared only about that next drink! Sitting hear alone with time moving ever so slowly, I now realize yes! I am an Alcoholic! My name is Zack!

chicory

Hi Zack. Glad that you are here, tho I am sorry for the reason. You have found a great place to get support, understanding, and hope. So many stories just like yours here. So many stories of recovery, and rediscovered lives.
Glad you aren't gonna walk to that store. Glad that you are choosing life today.
soon, a lot of great folks will be along, to support you.
There are lots of great stickies- the articles here that have been saved, and shared with newcomers, and re-read over and again.
one day at a time-you can do it!
hugs,
chicory

Dee74

Welcome Zack

I remember those first few days - sitting here on SR helped get me through them - you'll find a lot of support and help here

You can do this - I drank all day everyday for several years - I used to dream of the sort of life and happiness I have now - it's possible, Zack

D

zac33

Thank you all for the support!!! Hour by hour day by day!

Opivotal

So many of us have been in your shoes Zack. I remember the hour by hour and day by day. One thing to keep in mind is you can turn your life around. The choice is yours. You never have to feel this badly again. The past is over, tomorrow is a new day! I hope you have some sort of support in place. If not please look into getting some. You'll find a lot of good advice and great people here to talk with. Keep posting and let us know how your doing. My best wishes to you.

:ghug3

johndelko408

A lot of us aren't happy about the circumstances that got us into recovery, but we made it. With a strong spiritual foundation and program we can make it to the other side of the street. I know I'm not particularly happy about the circumstances that got me into recovery, but I'm here. I can't change my past and I don't want to forget it. With the knowledge of who I was and where I came from it will help me to not make those same mistakes in the future.

LaFemme

Hi Zack and welcome to SR...the first few days crawl like a bug in syrup...by the end of the first week it was all I could do to wait to get to double digits. Every day was like a month and I didn't know what to do with myself ...so I found SR and spent A LOT of time here...lol. now I spend less time here, though still plenty, and time actually is zipping right along...I kind of would like to slow it down a bit...maybe I could get even more accomplished. My point is my life is getting richer, more fulfilling ands better with every sober day and as I learn to live my life outside of the bottle.

You will get your life back on track if you stay sober...it wont happen overnight and it doesn't mean your life will be nothing but sunshine and daisies...but with sobriety all things are possible.

Hugs, LaFemme

Toronto68

When I think back, time seemed to pick up after the first 2 weeks. Maybe it's because I was aware of the fact I had rarely gone much longer than that without drinking, who knows. Keep finding things to do. Don't dwell on all the "terrible things you did because of your drinking." Build strength out of the understanding that you are making a change for the better. You will have plenty of opportunities to look at your past actions and judge yourself, you don't need to immerse yourself in those around the clock now. You need to give yourself credit for these initial steps and get through a day successfully. Consider the liquor store to be off limits, look the other way if you have to. If you think about going to the store, maybe that is a good time to look at your first post here and remember the reasons for quitting. Keep going.

And I don't know what your health is like, but maybe you should get in front of a doctor during this quit.

coop1

Welcome Zack, hang in there buddy. The first week is rough, I mean rough. But little by little things start getting better. Just realize why you are doing this. Stay here...I know through the first couple of days it really helped me to read all of these stories here. Your not alone my man. Others have done this before you and are more than willing to give you advice. Hang in there and good luck on your journey.

Zube

Zack- I'm on day #2 also. Last night sucked, insomnia, leg cramps, cold sweats, and joint pain. But I felt pretty good this a.m. that I made it through that first day...FINALLY!! That high is beginning to wear off. Sitting at work with joint pain, and stomach cramps on day #2. But I'm still saying to myself "Do not drink today", and tomorrow will be day #3. I'd been drinking for about 22 years, and as of Saturday it was up to 15 beers or more a day (Ususally in a 5 hour window after work). Went to my first AA mtg last night, and that did help. Planning on getting back to it again tonight. I feel what you are going through. I'm trusting in the advice from a lot of other posts on this site that assure these withdrawl symptoms do in fact subside. You are right- hour by hour... right now I'm feeling minute by minute... Good luck to you!

zac33

Well made it an other 24 hrs sober. Not feeling to well today. Sorry about my typing hands are shaking. ruff night last night. Hopefully it will get better each day I am sober. Thanks everyone for your support Ya gatta want it. I want my life back. Hour by hour!

Dee74

If you feel unwell or concerned Zack, remember the Dr is always a good option

D

Spawn

to the family


Have you been to a meeting yet? You don't have to do it alone.

zac33

No I haven't been to a meeting yet. I want to go but, I feel I need to pull myself together before I go.

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community....

I hope you will consider checking out your local AA groups.
It's been an awesome adventure in sober living for me...

aasharon90

Ever notice how you feel
after helping someone?

After opening the door
for someone?

What about when someone
sneezes and you say Bless
You?

Don't you feel good inside?

Well....

In recovery when I share
my own experiences,
strengths and hopes of
what it was like before,
during and after drinking
with another person in
recovery and they relate,
i feel good inside.

I have a feeling of responsibility
of helping a new comer.
Letting them know that
I too have been there
done that similar thing
too in my life.

When I can talk with
another person in recovery
and we understand each
other.

There is no other person
I can relate to than with
another in recovery.

When I get out of myself,
my self centeredness
and focus on another
is rewarding and it helps
me stay sober another
day.

That is exactly what Ive
done all day long today
inbetween yard work and
leaving for a bite to eat.

Im pretty sure I will not
drink today as my bedtime
nears.

And even tho I was alone
today at home, I wasnt
lonely because I had SR
to keep me company.

Spawn

excuse...........? right?

viavai

Zac,

Please do contact your doctor if you are particularly uncomfortable--you don't have to white-knuckle this. You are right to keep it in the day--just for today. Time can seem like it's creeping by, but keep reading and posting. Find something to pass the time (e.g., watch a movie or do what I did today and make a Christmas wish list on Amazon; even if you don't think anyone will look at it, it's a good distraction).

Jupiter

Zack,

What I've learned through quitting several times, with variable degrees of success (from days, to weeks, to months, to years), has been to avoid fantasizing about alcohol or about going out and buying liquor itself.

Instead, this is a great opportunity to start reading a book you've always wanted, or to create a blog for yourself, or some other activity that will focus your attention on something else.

zac33

Managed to make it to day # 4. Depression and anxiety set in pretty hard today. I made a doctors appointment today but can't get in until next week. I contacted the local chapter for AA and asked about meeting locations and times. Plan on attending tomorrow. I feel uncomfortable and ashamed because of what I have done to my life. I hope I can bring myself to go. Thanks all for the encouraging words!