Ninsuna

This is my second holiday sober. The first, last year, I was quite sad to be honest. I was recently divorced and I didn't know how to enjoy the holidays without my husband or alcohol. I got through it staying very close to sober friends, but I still felt a lot of self pity that everyone else seemed to have family to be with.

This year I'm just not going to worry about whether I enjoy the holidays, but trying to be productive and useful to others. On special occasions I can get so caught up in how I'm supposed to be having fun or other expectations that I forget to just take each day as it comes.

If nothing else, hey, January will be here before you know it.

Kmber2010

My first round of sober holidays as well. I will be alone for most and will not be celebrating this year physically but spiritually We had the military come pick up the stored furniture so they took it all including our dining table/chairs...LOL. Hell no am I doing a turkey to sit and eat on the sofa. Not sure if I am buying a tree since live ones here are uber expensive on the economy and I am not a fan of buying a fake tree let alone spending the $$. Since this will be the last holiday season here and with the baby coming in early spring....gotta save and that is my focus.

Trying to maybe do a Paris thing for the holidays in lieu of spending $$ on the holidays. Will see if dh can get off from work at all. I love how they have the winery tour built in to it though....bluh. Not that its a prob for me....its just part of the trip that is kinda wasted on me. Watching folks sample wines while I have apple juice is boring! LOL

I say its boring cause that is how that River Cruise we took this year went...LOL. All drinking and I had to entertain myself.....I just wanted to go off and take pictures while they drank...yawn

loveon2legs

Thanks for the replies everyone....nice to have some imput!!! I really haven't been a Christmas person...I think because of all the commercialism that goes with it.....so....this year my focus will be the spirit of Christmas.......and it also looks like I will be working so that's a bonus!! Family gatherings are always alcohol fueled....so now I can just stay for awhile and leave! And for New Years hubby and I are going to go to the city and go for a nice dinner, walk the streets and look at the lights then relax in a hotel room... Also talked with my Mom and we will be going out for a nice brunch sometime over the holidays....so I'm feeling better... thanks so much everyone....you got me re thinking!! xo

Fandy

I do remember being very concerned about my first family dinner/holiday which fell on Easter this year.....I over-obsessed about how everyone would think of my not drinking....and it turned out to be no a big deal at all....I brought my own beverage of choice, (seltzer) splashed some cranberry juice and lemon and all was well.

no one held me down and insisted on pouring boozed down my throat...they accepted my first answer, no thanks, i stopped drinking for health reasons....and we actually had a very nice dinner together....the other family dinners we have had since then have also gone well....since my SIL does all of the cooking...I assist in other ways (picking up my mother from the nursing home and returning her at night)...I make a nice dessert, help clean up and make coffee....and the best part is remembering conversations and not worrying about my driving.

Live

It makes sense that you have some anxiety..as your Thanksgiving was distressful. Glad you have planned around that for Christmas!!

WatchTheSky

I'm not too worried about Thanksgiving or Christmas since I'll be with my mom's side of the family, they're not big drinkers, and I'm underage. New Years is a different story! Don't get me wrong, it will be wonderful to remember the night, not need my friends to put me in the shower and wash my clothes, and not have a horrible hangover for 4 days straight. They said this would be "classy New Years" and I believe it will be for them, but if I started drinking it would not end that way.

AaronK

This is my first sober holiday season in 14 years. Whats made it really special is I have been enjoying it with my kids. My 4 year old son and I were walking the mall today and looking at all the decorations. They were so bright. We ran into Santa getting out of his truck in the parking lot before his shift started(no uniform) and he hammed it up for my son. This has all been really special for me. This time last year I was a wreck. Soo much better now.

I've already signed up for DD at the holiday parties and coffee will be my drink of choice. Nothing is funnier then messing with my wife's famliy while they are all under the influence.....hehehe. Oops....hohoho.

findingt

I was actually, I was even getting frustrated at myself thinking why do I have to have a drinking problem, I just want to be normal and not worry that there's alcohol around and that I might cave.

Buut, it really helped to read your posts and realize it's a chance to enjoy a sober Christmas, I really really love everything about it. I remember about 3 years ago I bought a Christmas tree planning on decorating etc, I never got around to it cus I was too busy getting drunk. Well, I can change that this year!! Great post!!

least

I'm fortunate to be part of a mostly non drinking family. My sister will get a six pack of beer to get her through her three or four day visit. No one else drinks at all. So the holidays aren't a worry for me, my biggest worry has always been just being home alone, as I usually am, and as I always drank - all by myself.

And I'm on such a roll now, coming up on a year sober, that my sober energy is really stoked to stay sober. I have no temptation this year to drink at all. I consider myself to be blessed to not have this worry this year. The very thought of drinking is repugnant to me... and I know in my heart that it's not an escape, it's a trap.

It's going to be a great sober holiday for me this year.

Toronto68

LoveOn2, I don't think I am worried about it in quite the same way, but I guess it depends on what I am doing. I have thought to myself I am not looking forward to a lot of agitation on the part of others (it usually gets on my nerves). I do get sick of _______ hearing about it, I know that.

coffeenut

The first year was not fun. Wondering who was going to make a big deal of me not drinking (um, the only person that did was me). Wondering how I was ever going to get through it.

Now...this will be my third Christmas. I'm totally okay with it. In fact, this year, I think I'm actually looking forward to it.

Stayinfree

I was looking forward to Christmas and I still am.....but today my work colleagues have arranged a night out on 17th Dec, and my Mum said today she wants me to go with her to her 'party night' on 10th Dec............I really don't want to go out!

I know I can go and not bother about alcohol....but I will be bored and feel unhappy and wish I was back at home in bed with a book.........Everyone will keep looking at me and say 'cheer up'..........even if I have a smile on my face..urgh!

yeahgr8

This question reminds me of xmas 2008...i was going to a counselor and on antabuse...was about 3 months sober, that time, and xmas was actually alright-ish...when i drank again 2 months after xmas i can remember being really pissed off that i had even bothered staying sober for xmas lol

In hindsight that was the first time i had ever thought like that and, unknown to me at the time, was the beginning of the road to finally getting recovered...go figure?!

Cobalt

I myself am concerned. My entire immediate family drinks. My 12 year old niece is the only real kid left in the family. I hate the fact that drinking is "legal and socially acceptable". It just makes everything more complicated and difficult. None of my relatives including my parents realize I am an alcoholic. I have not yet been able to safely confess to them everything about my addiction. My parents and pretty much every other member of my family enjoy alcohol in a social setting as well as regularly at home. The may consume it, but they don't display the signs of getting that "click" from the drug that us alcoholics do.

It amazes me that nobody else has noticed my problem. I am worried about the festivities because A. I will be encouraged to drink, and B. I will inevitably cut myself some slack (that I really don't deserve) for "being good" and not drinking every single day. Really, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

I AM looking forward to the holiday season, so don't get me wrong. I just wish I didn't have this monkey on my back along for the ride.

Tommyh

one day at a time is how we can deal with the holidays and what comes with them

this year I plan on staying sober thru all the holidays and seeing what good I can do for others
that's all the holiday plans I have so far

loveon2legs

I learned something really good last night at this mindfulness relapse prevention course i'm in... our thoughts are just thoughts....that's it.....you acknowledge them, then let them go...we were told to picture a stream and we were sitting by it..and every thought we had we were to picture leaves floating in the water...and to place our thoughts on them...and not to watch the leaves go down the river...but to let them go..... but to be AWARE of them....so when we have that trigger or craving we will know it's just a thought...we don't have to act on it...... I know the tools I've learned in the course is going to prove invaluable over the holidays!!

David 1

I love the mindset about letting dubious thoughts go along with the idea of replacing them with positive thoughts.

Celebrate the holiday season with Clarity, Focus, Ease and Grace!

Dave

LeeK

I'm very nervous as well, the holiday season seems to bring more time for parties and another excuse to get drunk! So far so good though, but Thanksgiving was probably the easiest.

I know what you mean about holiday's revolving around alcohol though. For both my friends and most of my family, holiday=day off=perfect opportunity to get hammered. But after getting really drunk last Christmas eve and throwing up most of Christmas morning I think I'll be very glad to spend the holiday having fun with your family like it's supposed to be spent. Nervous, but kind of excited

New Year's, I'm going to have something and somebody sober to keep myself occupied, or that might end badly.

Isaiah

I was a pretty strict solitary drinker when I drank, so the holidays are actually a time when I can let my guard down for a bit and just enjoy company.

Christmas also has a religious as well as cultural-familial aspect for me, so I am hoping to draw a lot of peace and growth out of the day when it starts to arrive. As for New Years, I'll probably just skip it as I've done the past couple years. I still enjoy being at the occasional party with friends but there are two nights when I know the party is going to be over my head: New Year's and St. Patrick's Day.