Goldielocksss

Finally accepting that I could not control my drinking I went to my dr and start a out patient program this coming week..after heavy drinking the past 5 years I stopped three weeks ago today and have been reading and praying to continue on. I found that yesterday I felt like I was having a "melt down" this was the hardest day for me thus far. Can anyone shed some light on why now, 3 weeks into my sobriety that it hit me so hard...? I know it will always be a challenge for me to deal with but, yesterday was really hard for me. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks you

Isaiah

I really don't know why bad days crop up so long after quitting. It might be that when we start sobriety we are full of conviction that keeps us going, when our expectations for sobriety don't seem to be met as fast as we like we start to feel a little defeated. I don't know if that's something that relates to your case, but it's a hypothesis.

I'm only at one month now, but I had a lot of sobriety behind me before I slipped. Even after months and months there still came days when I was miserable and had strong urges to drink. They come and go in waves. The important thing is that they do go, and we don't have to act on them.

Keep at it, Goldielocksss. This too shall pass.

CarolD

Glad to know you are being pro active about living sober
Congratulations on your progress......

Please see if this link is useful for you

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

Welcome to our recovery community

Dee74

For a long time I thought recovery was a linear process too...we start at point A and just move farther and farther away - but I know now it's not like that - like anything important in life, it's a little more complicated...

I haven't drunk for nearly 4 years but I believe I'm still an alcoholic...to me thats why
there's all these little lulls and cul de sacs and rough times...and thats why so many of us have trouble staying in recovery...

It can be hard work - but it's no more hard work than my old life drinking - and it is far far more worthwhile

We do keep moving forward, we do learn more and more every time we get through a low patch, and it does get easier, Goldielocksss - don't get discouraged

D

Anna

Recovery is not a straight line and there will always be ups and downs. I found it particularly hard in early recovery to have to face all the messes that I had made and things I'd neglected because of drinking. Some days that was really a challenge. I'm glad you talked to your dr and you have a plan in place.

TheEnd

Around 2 weeks for me things started to become really, really hard and I was ready to drink, but not throw in the towel so to speak. I believe that the newness of sobriety had worn off and my initial burst for sobriety had slowed down.

My desire for sobriety was still as strong, but I was no longer running on automatic, this is when I started to work the suggestions that people had given me and I started leaning on my support group from help.

Goldielocksss

thank you all for your words of wisdome, belive me, they really help. I feel at times like I am walking in the dark, the path is not clear, I take baby steps cause I don't know what is ahead or how the next step might affect me...it is very scary...walking this way but, as hard as it is, it is also making me face feelings that I have surpressed with drinking...if you have never done this then it is like walking in the dark. I am looking forward to my meetings this week, I need them...and in here I feel like I am not alone. Thank you

tooling

Hi. I'm at almost 4 months now. I am not surprised at all you at had a really strong urge that early on. Just stick with it and the feelings will pass that day. And when they come up again and you hold out they will pass. It's a circus I tell ya! but as the days and weeks go by that feeling to drink dims like a light bulb with less power.

Isaiah

Calling it a dark and scary path is a pretty apt metaphor. But just as our eyes work in dark rooms, eventually you'll start to adjust and see better. It only takes time. I've come to realize, especially from this site, that there is no perfect knowledge that one can give to someone to make sobriety easy. The only way to learn is by patient doing.

And even though it's scary, it's a path we walk because we know that if we don't, there's a lot more suffering and fear to be had in constant drinking.

:ghug3

least

EArly sobriety can be a rough road but it does get better.

viavai

I'm just at five weeks, and I haven't had any real urges in two weeks so for me, it has gotten a little easier as time goes by. That said, I still anticipate that when I don't want to deal with my feelings, my first thought will be "How can I numb?" That's because I have a hard time dealing with life on life's terms, and it IS like walking in the dark. But as Isaiah said, your eyes do adjust to the dark--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

At three weeks, I was obsessed with the thought of a drink--for no particular reason, as I was not going through any sort of crisis. To get me through the day, I just kept telling myself, "If it's important enough, I can always drink tomorrow, but I am not going to drink today." This mental manipulation worked for me, as obtuse as it sounds, and it got me through to the other side. I don't know if that helps, but I just wanted to chime in.

Hang in there, and keep moving forward. You ARE moving forward as long as you don't pick up that first drink. And it's a particularly dangerous place when you start thinking that this time you can control your drinking--I'm speaking from experience and a nine-month relapse that was SO not worth it. I'm just grateful that I made it back.

Take care of yourself, and keep it in the day.