Another casualty... The first real hardcore alcoholic I ever met is on life support..
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by ImReadyToQuit 
I just found out.. He's only 55 years old.. He looked 55 when I first met him.. Jeepers... And he could have only be 35 at the time..
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Cumming, Ga
Posts: 665
I was told early on to get a black suit. I asked why and was told, " we're going to go to a lot of funerals, and if you ever drink again, at least we will have something to bury you in". Well, I've been to a lot of funerals. An alcoholic death continues to show up in ways I wouldn't imagine. The first I experienced was a guy in his mid 30's who just couldn't surrender and couldn't imagine any hope for a better future. They found him in the bathtub of a family member's property that had all utilities cut off in the middle of July heat. He had been dead 6 days. I overheard a member of the group say, " We all carry the message one way or another". I thought it was callous at the time, but it is the truth. An alcoholic death has shown up as suicide by cop, asphyxiation in the car in the garage, lethal doses of drugs, alcohol or both, dui, the above mentioned liver failure and probably a few other ways I can't recall. About every 9 months we bury an alcoholic in our group. Every now and then we get to bury a sober alcoholic. Those are the funerals I remember the most.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
It's amazing.... ppl would rather die than give the 12 steps and a spiritual solution a chance - because being right about their hang-ups is more important than living. It boggles the mind.
I guess what's more amazing is how many more people will read that first post, shake their head like me, then follow the SAME EXACT path. That's heartbreaking.
I guess what's more amazing is how many more people will read that first post, shake their head like me, then follow the SAME EXACT path. That's heartbreaking.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I actually think it's a little wider than that DT.
Some people would rather live the way the do, and yes risk death, than do *anything* about it - let's not confine this to AA.
I was one of those folks, but I'm lucky I got a second chance.
Fear is a powerful thing, especially when it's fear of change - and it keeps a lot of us trapped and paralysed - sometimes terminally.
D
Some people would rather live the way the do, and yes risk death, than do *anything* about it - let's not confine this to AA.
I was one of those folks, but I'm lucky I got a second chance.
Fear is a powerful thing, especially when it's fear of change - and it keeps a lot of us trapped and paralysed - sometimes terminally.
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I was told early on to get a black suit. I asked why and was told, " we're going to go to a lot of funerals, and if you ever drink again, at least we will have something to bury you in".
A grim and accurate reminder of what's waiting for us if we don't stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 336
This is such a sad thread.
I wonder if the program used in high schools about drinking and driving work...the graphic representation of what it looks like when people get hurt and/or die.
The reason I say that is because I am a critical care/ICU nurse. I have seen far too many alcoholics at the end of life and it is always so very sad. What is seen on the "outside" at the end stages of alcoholic encephalopathy and liver failure is a patient lying in a cleaned up bed with crisp white sheets. We always try to make this patient "presentable" and try to give them and their families dignity.
What is seen on the "inside" by the nurses and other care-givers is so different. For lack of a better term, it's messy. There is NO dignity, NO comfortable way to be and more times than not the crispy whiteness of those sheets lasts only for a short time and need to be changed multiple times during the course of a day or night. Even though the encephalopathy is a blessing in that one really doesn't *know* what's going on with them, the grimacing faces tell another story when the person needs to be cleaned or repositioned. It absolutely breaks my heart.
I'm just saying. If any alcoholic could see the alcoholic dying process in person and be a part of that process, there is no way they would *want* to "go" that way. I truely believe that having this professional experience for a couple of decades is what prevented me from becoming an alcoholic drinker, but it didn't prevent me from becoming an addict.
I saw my dad die this way six years ago at age 67.
I wonder if the program used in high schools about drinking and driving work...the graphic representation of what it looks like when people get hurt and/or die.
The reason I say that is because I am a critical care/ICU nurse. I have seen far too many alcoholics at the end of life and it is always so very sad. What is seen on the "outside" at the end stages of alcoholic encephalopathy and liver failure is a patient lying in a cleaned up bed with crisp white sheets. We always try to make this patient "presentable" and try to give them and their families dignity.
What is seen on the "inside" by the nurses and other care-givers is so different. For lack of a better term, it's messy. There is NO dignity, NO comfortable way to be and more times than not the crispy whiteness of those sheets lasts only for a short time and need to be changed multiple times during the course of a day or night. Even though the encephalopathy is a blessing in that one really doesn't *know* what's going on with them, the grimacing faces tell another story when the person needs to be cleaned or repositioned. It absolutely breaks my heart.
I'm just saying. If any alcoholic could see the alcoholic dying process in person and be a part of that process, there is no way they would *want* to "go" that way. I truely believe that having this professional experience for a couple of decades is what prevented me from becoming an alcoholic drinker, but it didn't prevent me from becoming an addict.
I saw my dad die this way six years ago at age 67.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by ImReadyToQuit
When I was 15-16.. I met my best friend.. I'll call him Ralph.. He was drinking everyday at school.. I hadn't begun my drinking career before we had met..
His entire household was filled with alcoholics... Mother, step father... And the most hardcore drink all day everyday.. His Uncle.. He would literally pass out in a chair.. With a beer, and wake up with it and start sipping... At the time, I was young and stupid and almost thought it was funny.
It must have been 1990.. Well.. I talked to my friend last night and he told me his uncle is in ICU, yellow, bloated and his mind is totally gone... They expect him to pass at any minute (I guess he could have passed today somehow)...
My best friend is well on the way,, He told me last night he doesn't care if he dies.. Hates the world and wouldn't mind "going out" like his uncle...
Dunno why I'm sharing this.. I'll goto the funeral I suppose, neither my friend, his uncle, his mother or step father have ever had any desire to stop...
I have to fight for my life... I hope I win.
His entire household was filled with alcoholics... Mother, step father... And the most hardcore drink all day everyday.. His Uncle.. He would literally pass out in a chair.. With a beer, and wake up with it and start sipping... At the time, I was young and stupid and almost thought it was funny.
It must have been 1990.. Well.. I talked to my friend last night and he told me his uncle is in ICU, yellow, bloated and his mind is totally gone... They expect him to pass at any minute (I guess he could have passed today somehow)...
My best friend is well on the way,, He told me last night he doesn't care if he dies.. Hates the world and wouldn't mind "going out" like his uncle...
Dunno why I'm sharing this.. I'll goto the funeral I suppose, neither my friend, his uncle, his mother or step father have ever had any desire to stop...
I have to fight for my life... I hope I win.
A reminder for all of us to do what it takes to not drink today. Tomorrow we can start over and do it all again...
:-)
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