Hollyanne

Just don't become the "designated driver" who has to pay for the cab!
Go home if you are tempted and tell another lie if you need to!
Ps, I am very honest really!

skg

I neede to change one thing: Everything. And that meant 'friends' that still drank like I used to. I made the obligatory excuses, sure, but I also found other things to do (yep, including AA meetings). So I asked the old toads in AA how they did it--not what I should do--and they gave me some ideas: Bring a sober friend? Have an exit strategy? Use the phone list? Leave earlier? Drink non-caffeinated beverages (try club soda with a twist)? Hang out by the food? I never was comfortable in those settings anyway--that's why I started drinking in the first place--but in the cases where I HAD to attend, I had to learn new ways of socializing.

RE: Honesty? I was told that honesty is the principle of the first step and it was the foundation of everything to follow. If I don't practice these principles in all my affairs all the time, I wind up with an emotional hangover and a spiritual debt. I live a little differently today because time is a gift, no longer a threat to me. That means I personally consider eternity in my decisions. Truth matters to me today--that and I absolutely hate, hate HATE making amends!

viavai

I'm going to side with those who have said better to lie than to drink. I was in a situation last year when a friend from college came to town (I think she's walking the thin line when it comes to her own drinking, but that's none of my business), and was pressuring me to have a drink with her. When I told the first half-lie, "I don't really drink any more," and she still pushed, I just said that I'd recently been sick and was still on antibiotics so couldn't drink. That seemed the settle the issue, and I felt "free." I have no regrets about lying that night.

For the most part--with exceptional exceptions such as this--I am honest in all my affairs. I feel that my Higher Power would want me to place a higher value on self-care (at all costs) than self-harm. Just my two cents.

Isaiah

I don't think it's for anyone to know why I abstain from drinking or drinking situations. I consider it very much as a medical condition with a certain stigma attached. I value my privacy over other people's curiosity.

Still, if it's a major part of your social circle then it's going to be hard to play the sick card each time.

Jomey

I agree that your sobriety being maintained is the most important issue here. I am a relatively private person in all matters, so I really did not care to bare my soul to anyone who asked why I suddenly stopped drinking.

I did prefer to stick with a impersonal version of the truth. Such as "The doctor said I shouldn't drink." That's true, but it's not giving more away than I am comfortable sharing. A couple of people then would ask "Why? What's wrong?" and I would simply reply "I'm not up for sharing the details."

I'm happy for you that you maintained your sobriety - do whatever it takes!

Itchy

I just tell them the absolute truth. I decided that drinking and smoking were not healthy for me and decided to start a new healthy lifestyle. I also started working out and eating healthy.

If they insist then just mentally go over the words to Steppenwolf's song "The Pusher" and see the situation for what it is.

Dime

Congrats on your decision to avoid a high risk situation. Sobriety is #1 in my life because nothing else is possible otherwise. After around a year sobriety I allowed myself to go events where others drank when I had a legitimate reason to be there. I still stay away from events where drinking is the main theme.

Today when asked if I want a drink I simply say I don't drink. Heck I discovered lots of people who are not alcoholic that also do not drink that I never noticed before.

Bamboozle

It's getting much easier the longer I'm sober.

When I first quit I had much anxiety being in situations where people drink. Now I avoid them, or if I can't (obligation to family gatherings and such) it's no big thing.

I also don't hang around people who party anymore. I haven't had anyone offer me a drink in a very long time. I'm glad I feel as comfortable as I do...I even mentioned in passing that I used to drink and the person I was talking to didn't even ask me why I don't drink anymore. If he had, I probably would have told him 'it got old...don't care for it anymore'.

The longer I'm sober the more I realize most people don't have drinking problems.