AlcoholicOrNot

Well, there was a Halloween party on Saturday night. All day Saturday I was thinking what I was going to say and how I was going to say it when asked if I wanted a drink during the party.

You know, I just didn't feel like dealing with it. So, I made up an excuse that I wasn't feeling well and thought I was coming down with a cold. Couldn't infect the other party-goers, could I?

I usually don't resort to lying, but it was so easy.

My wife and teenage boy went without me.

The next day, my neighbor friend who attended, told me he had drank too many Tequila shots at the party.

I felt a bit of satisfaction that I had made the right decision. Undoubtedly, I would have pushed away many shots that would have come my way. I would have also had to answer to people that I drank heavily with in the past.

I could hear it already: Why aren't you drinking? Come on, just one! Do a shot with me, over and over.

For the most part, I've been handling these situations well, but after working in the yard all day, I just didn't want to be in that situation.

Guess what? I didn't miss it! No hangover! No laying on the couch all day. No remorse.

What a great feeling!

Thanks for listening.

least

I doubt you'll burn in hell for that little lie... I might have said "alcohol makes me feel bad, thanks but no thanks".

CarolD

You made a good decision by not going...well done!

LawMama

Good job not going! I know how tough it can be to say no to super tempting situations.

Hollyanne

Alcohol or not,
You did the right thing. Next time, tell the lie earlier so you can have some peace of mind. Last Saturday, my cousin got married. I waited until Friday to make my excuses. I hummed and hawed way too long. Next time, I am not going to do that. You must be so happy not to have endured that. Good work.

TheEnd

That's awesome, glad you did what's best for you.

I have been in several drinking situations, all my friends know I'm not drinking so it really hasn't been a big deal, and the people that don't that I quit never question why I'm not drinking anyway.

Maybe a lot of it, is all in our head and our feelings about not drinking....

SoberArtistGirl

Good for you for doing what you needed to do to take care of yourself. Isn't it wonderful to wake up the day after a holiday hangover free? Somehow I don't think I'll ever stop appreciating that feeling.

jamdls

Good for you AorNot. I went to a neighborhood Halloween party Saturday night as well and I was really concerned that people would be questioning why I was just drinking water (I only knew a couple of people at the party) but not a single person questioned me nor tried to get me to drink alcohol it was a non issue. A couple of people did get 'falling down drunk' and I kept thinking "I'm so glad that's not me anymore", on Sunday when I was out walking my dog I saw a couple of people from the party that were obviously hungover---not a pretty site---again "glad that wasn't me".

skg

Someone told me that, "The only person(s) concerned about what's in your glass are other alcoholics." I was told this before going to my first "Christmas Party" as a sober alcoholic. I was astonished at just how many people didn't notice!

As for the lying, well, you can make your amends at the next drunk-fest--if in fact you go. I found that once I quit drinking, sitting around (watching) people getting stupid really wasn't as hilarious as I once thought...

julez

I always lie, and I'm not a bit sorry, lol. I have gotten to the point where being around other people drinking doesn't bother me, but making myself the center of attention with the "I'm never drinking again" speech doesn't appeal to me at all. So, I lie. I say it bothers my stomach, or that I'm on medication and can't drink, or something like that. I know I can't lie forever, but for now, I have a little more work i have to do on myself before I want to make that announcement.

aasharon90

I learned early on in
recovery that when
we lie, cheat, steal
and other bad things
there would be
consequences to
pay.

For lieing would
be to make amends
to those u would
hurt.

I learned I had a
conscience and i
would feel shame
and remorse later
down the road
with the choices
I made.

I chose to lie and
therefore felt bad
about it.

Today I try not to
lie at all cost just
because I dont want
to return to face
people and say I
lied or i'm sorry.

That is just extra
baggage I chose
not to carry with
me today.

Plus I am a better
person when I'm
honest.

And that's how it
works for me.

joinedintime

On the lesser of two evils scale in my book, drinking is the heavier without a doubt.
Better to do the one than to drink.
In fact, we all know that drinking often leads to lying. Very often, in fact.

As we get stronger and stronger in our sobriety it's easier to be honest in those situations.
Honest might mean saying that you don't want to go because you don't want to be around the environment, or might mean going and enjoying the friendship while observing the environment. I learn about my self and my my addiction when I see people drink whether they get drunk or not.
It also might mean going and leaving whenever you choose.

The most important point is not drinking which you accomplished so congrats!

wren

I was invited to a Halloween party too -- was told beforehand there'd be lots of alcohol. I just declined the invitation without explaining anything. There was no way I was going to put myself in that situation while early in sobriety.

Like you, I didn't have to deal with any hangover... glad I made the right choice.

BullDog777

my wife and i went to an outside halloween block party that had people on all sides of me plowed out of their mind. it was pretty funny. my wife who never drinks and whom i've never seen drunk was getting crocked by marguritas.

of all the parents outside.... who was in charge of making sure all the kids were safe?

the job was left to me. the dude who 11 months ago was barely hanging on to his life by a thread, dying from this obsession was playing tag and supervising the moonbounce with about twenty 4-8 year olds. it was pretty fun...when asked why i didn't wanna drink, i simply said i'd have more fun not drinking and didn't want the hangover. nobody questioned it and i even won the chilli cook off. it was very cool this year.

i think it's always ok to lie if you're not comfortable saying why you don't drink.

skg

Conscious = Conscience. Coincidence?

LaFemme

Bulldog....sounds like you had waaaayyy more fun hanging with the kids:-)

savexourxship

You know what they say about addicts and old geography!

Good choice!

Forgood

Hey least, someone asked me on the weekend if I wanted a beer, I just politely said no thanks Im good. Some will say to me you don't drink anymore and I just say I am in dry dock, if they push for more And they are somebody I no well I tell the truth, just don't find drinking as part of my life any more.

Good job on the weekend, sometimes you have to do what is required to stay sober.

Forgood

SKG you really notice how much alcohol becomes idiot juice when sitting around drinkers who have drank to much. Our family spends most weekends at a resort in the summer, you can really tell who the problem drinkers are quick. When you are pounding them back yourself you don't notice how much others drink. Mind you that there business but the conversations and drunken debates can get almost sad to watch.

Stay well, stay sober

AlcoholicOrNot

The problem here is that most of my friends and all of my good friends could be considered alcoholics. So these people tend to notice and if they can't make out what you have in your glass, they'll ask.

Luckily for me, I've been "on the wagon" so many times before it hasn't really been a big deal.

One of my friends is coming into town Thursday and I've volunteered to be the designated driver for the group. Being the DD is another built-in defense mechanism.

Telling them I'm never drinking again would throw them all into disbelief. Besides, I don't really look at it as permanent, just day-by-day if you know what I mean.