Fell again and picking up the pieces
AAudrey
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Stamford, CT
Posts: 209
Originally Posted by Isaiah 
Lilac,
From what I've heard, the fear of a physical death isn't itself enough to keep some people from drinking. I've heard horror stories of people drinking straight through cirrhosis to a very bitter end. All sobriety begins and ends with the mind's willingness to work at it.
Again, wonderful that you're aware of and taking care of your body. I've heard over and over that our physical self has a huge influence on our mental self, and thus our sobriety.
From what I've heard, the fear of a physical death isn't itself enough to keep some people from drinking. I've heard horror stories of people drinking straight through cirrhosis to a very bitter end. All sobriety begins and ends with the mind's willingness to work at it.
Again, wonderful that you're aware of and taking care of your body. I've heard over and over that our physical self has a huge influence on our mental self, and thus our sobriety.
Yep, it's a three fold illness that we have. BB says that when we straighten out spiritually, we straighten out mentally and physically.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Santa fe, New Mexico
Posts: 42
Same here
You are telling my story so no need to be embarassed. I have been in and out of the rooms plenty of times for about 3 1/2 years. However, every time I went back I was welcomed back with open arms! Please remember that failure is not falling of the wagon, its not dusting yourself off and trying again. I'm going on day 10 right now and I didn't drink today. Thats all I need to be concerned about. Everything else will happen as it will and drinking is not going to make a difference. Keep trudging man!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Lilac, based on your post, it sounds like you would be familiar with drinking to celebrate a good thing, to deal with a bad thing, to pass the time/indifference.
As you put more time together, you can give yourself the opportunity to spot the types of thoughts that would have validated a reason to drink. Even though all the reasons vote for the same thing, you might be able to see your Thinking Problem and how it supports your drinking problem.
Hard for me to explain, but if I notice myself focusing on a resentful feeling or fear/dread for too long or if I put off basic chores I give myself, then I try to correct all of those and change gears. I don't do it that consciously anymore - or I don't remember it as much if I do. I wouldn't call this will power, it's more about changing the tune. I try to put myself to better use for myself, expecting that an angel is not going to come out of it though. This is part of what I have read here, the idea that you succeed day by day when you don't give power to certain thoughts and feelings.
If the way I put this made sense, I don't expect that you will know how to put it to action overnight, but when you get there, maybe you will be able to make use of these ideas.
If you're having a rough time getting your participation at AA to click, then I suggest giving yourself credit for giving it another go (I spotted a subsequent post about you going to another meeting); and also credit for putting your thoughts together here. I don't know if it works (haven't been taking surveys), but I like to suggest that people make an effort to give themselves credit while they work on themselves and drawing from different approaches.
Hope it works out.
As you put more time together, you can give yourself the opportunity to spot the types of thoughts that would have validated a reason to drink. Even though all the reasons vote for the same thing, you might be able to see your Thinking Problem and how it supports your drinking problem.
Hard for me to explain, but if I notice myself focusing on a resentful feeling or fear/dread for too long or if I put off basic chores I give myself, then I try to correct all of those and change gears. I don't do it that consciously anymore - or I don't remember it as much if I do. I wouldn't call this will power, it's more about changing the tune. I try to put myself to better use for myself, expecting that an angel is not going to come out of it though. This is part of what I have read here, the idea that you succeed day by day when you don't give power to certain thoughts and feelings.
If the way I put this made sense, I don't expect that you will know how to put it to action overnight, but when you get there, maybe you will be able to make use of these ideas.
If you're having a rough time getting your participation at AA to click, then I suggest giving yourself credit for giving it another go (I spotted a subsequent post about you going to another meeting); and also credit for putting your thoughts together here. I don't know if it works (haven't been taking surveys), but I like to suggest that people make an effort to give themselves credit while they work on themselves and drawing from different approaches.
Hope it works out.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
You say you work out a lot and you meditate. Why do you work out? To feel good? to be fit? loose weight?
A lot of the fitness gurus out there encourage their flock to have a mental image of what they want to look like or an avtivity they may want to complete. They really push mental imagery.
This might sound kind of silly but if you can develop, in your mind, a vision of you as an athlete accomplishing particular goals, it may help you to stay focused.
You are already exercising and meditating, right? See yourself, in your mind as fit and healthy as you want to be be.
In may case I set 30-60-90 day fitness goals in which I will accomplish X, Y, and Z, and since I am training during that time, there is no junk food, no missing workouts and no booze. At the end of the time period, set new goals for the next 30-60-90. This has helped me a lot to stay focused.
A lot of the fitness gurus out there encourage their flock to have a mental image of what they want to look like or an avtivity they may want to complete. They really push mental imagery.
This might sound kind of silly but if you can develop, in your mind, a vision of you as an athlete accomplishing particular goals, it may help you to stay focused.
You are already exercising and meditating, right? See yourself, in your mind as fit and healthy as you want to be be.
In may case I set 30-60-90 day fitness goals in which I will accomplish X, Y, and Z, and since I am training during that time, there is no junk food, no missing workouts and no booze. At the end of the time period, set new goals for the next 30-60-90. This has helped me a lot to stay focused.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
DeeCelt: it never occurred to me to use mental imagery. DUH! I learned the power of visualization way back in high school track and cross country. What a fabulous idea.
It goes right along with my therapist encouraging me to repeat positive affirmations about myself throughout the day to change my beliefs about myself.
Everyone has had helpful posts in response to my tail-between-the-legs post. And you know, I have found many other people posting about the lamentation of yet another day one. Thanks so much for this forum.
Today, I am giving myself more time to heal. That means lots of herbal tea, sleep, reading (most likely the Big Book and other books about this thing called alcoholism) and no work. There is a ton to do at my job, but there are other people who can handle it and until I feel less fuzzy mentally and more energetic physically I will be pretty useless (my job is a major "thinking" job). There will always be a ton to do at my job.
It goes right along with my therapist encouraging me to repeat positive affirmations about myself throughout the day to change my beliefs about myself.
Everyone has had helpful posts in response to my tail-between-the-legs post. And you know, I have found many other people posting about the lamentation of yet another day one. Thanks so much for this forum.
Today, I am giving myself more time to heal. That means lots of herbal tea, sleep, reading (most likely the Big Book and other books about this thing called alcoholism) and no work. There is a ton to do at my job, but there are other people who can handle it and until I feel less fuzzy mentally and more energetic physically I will be pretty useless (my job is a major "thinking" job). There will always be a ton to do at my job.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
I don't feel that any amount of mental imagery will keep an alcoholic from drinking any more than seeing oneself thin will make one thin, but it may help to keep one focused to do the things we must do to keep from drinking.
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