Fed up with family drinking...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Fed up with family drinking...
Hi everyone!! well, thanksgiving dinner was a disaster.....everyone but my mom,my hubby and I were drunk....this will be the last function I go to over there...it's the same thing...and I'm just tired of it..... Have any of you gone threw this since since being sober???
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
My sis always throws big family get-togethers and I despise them. I try to avoid them as much as I can...but often it is the only time I get to see my parents, daughter and grandkids..every one lives in different places.
After the folks bow out early it is time to get drunk and it totally angers and disgusts me.
I get upset every time.
I used to be able to skip out by taking the little ones upstairs to read to them and put them to bed....then I would read and have my escape.
Or else have a hotel room that I could go to.
I really don't want to be around it anymore either.
I get so danged mad about what the kids see and what they are being taught is normal.
Ick.
I think I offended them badly enough by ratting it out that I will no longer be included.
whatever.
It took me alot of years to get angry enough to speak out about it.
After the folks bow out early it is time to get drunk and it totally angers and disgusts me.
I get upset every time.
I used to be able to skip out by taking the little ones upstairs to read to them and put them to bed....then I would read and have my escape.
Or else have a hotel room that I could go to.
I really don't want to be around it anymore either.
I get so danged mad about what the kids see and what they are being taught is normal.
Ick.
I think I offended them badly enough by ratting it out that I will no longer be included.
whatever.
It took me alot of years to get angry enough to speak out about it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
I have young nephews as well, and it bothers me too that they have to grow up thinking this is how family holidays are.... my sister in law was sooo drunk she passed out on the couch right after dinner(which she never ate) and left mom and I too clean up....disgusted me.... I realize others drink..but this is family....where has the respect gone?? they crossed a line with me, and I won't be going to "dinners" anymore...I will drop by for visits to see my nephews... such a sad shame....
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Merritt Island, Fl
Posts: 1,164
Originally Posted by loveon2legs 
Stugotz I realize that...there is a big difference however between drinking and getting wasted....
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
My parents are and have always been on the straight and narrow...I still can't believe that the last time they all smiled when sis and gang showed my 9 year old grandson how to play beer pong!!
That was the over the top for me.
(they let him have one sip but still he had no business seeing any of that!)
That was the over the top for me.
(they let him have one sip but still he had no business seeing any of that!)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Its one thing to drink responsibly another to get wasted in front of kids. Looking back on my own childhood I realize that a lot of the adults were wasted or drinking heavily and I didn't realize it...not just family functions but at the club or at parties. I somehow assimilated that was what grown ups did. If I have kids one day I don't want them to grow up thinking that is what being an adult is about.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Why not begin your own tradition when it's holiday time?
For instance....although my non drinking family is not an issue
we often celebrate by dining out.
That way everyone can choose what they eat...
no one has to cook or clean up.
For instance....although my non drinking family is not an issue
we often celebrate by dining out.
That way everyone can choose what they eat...
no one has to cook or clean up.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Would you be saying the same thing if you did not quit drinking????
Sometimes I am with friends and it annoys me how drunk they can get, but then I remember I used to be the same way and it never really bothered me, so am I to expect the world to change just because I have,..................... I think not
Sometimes I am with friends and it annoys me how drunk they can get, but then I remember I used to be the same way and it never really bothered me, so am I to expect the world to change just because I have,..................... I think not
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
What I expect End is for my brother and his wife to grow up and act like responsible adults around their children..and my mom....the question you asked really isnt relevant now...is it... and stang is right..drunk people are a pain in the butt!!! I'm not asking the whole world to change,because I have quit drinking...that's hardly the case....
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
All I'm merely trying to point out is these people probably aren't acting any differently than they were before when you were drinking. What happens is that we become less tolerant of the drunking antics because we are sober, the same drunking antics that we were a part of.
And if drunk people bother you that much then don't hang around them, this is completely your choice.......
And if drunk people bother you that much then don't hang around them, this is completely your choice.......
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
l2l--hey sweets! UGH, sorry you are going through this. I sympathize & empathize. What great advice Carol offers . . . I'm getting excited thinking about how you might be able to think up some new traditions.
Also, I know this is holding out a fair amount of hope, but maybe someone will change at some point? There's nothing you can do about it but be a good example and maybe one day . . who knows? I have one relative who is in recovery and for years (since he started) he's been the only one sober. I feel so bad for the guy having been around our drunken family all these occasions (including myself), but I'm looking forward to having a sit down with him to talk about this stuff, and hopefully he will welcome that, come Christmas . . . so, you never know, huh? Until then, I hope you can work around the situation in a way that minimizes your frustrations.
Also, I know this is holding out a fair amount of hope, but maybe someone will change at some point? There's nothing you can do about it but be a good example and maybe one day . . who knows? I have one relative who is in recovery and for years (since he started) he's been the only one sober. I feel so bad for the guy having been around our drunken family all these occasions (including myself), but I'm looking forward to having a sit down with him to talk about this stuff, and hopefully he will welcome that, come Christmas . . . so, you never know, huh? Until then, I hope you can work around the situation in a way that minimizes your frustrations.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
AG....great post and take on the situation.
The End....she wasn't hanging around with drinkers....she was at a family dinner on a major holiday. A problem many of us have to deal with...me, personally am not inclined to walk away from the only family I have. I am grateful lo2l came here to post and share since I am dreading my first sober Thanksgiving.
The End....she wasn't hanging around with drinkers....she was at a family dinner on a major holiday. A problem many of us have to deal with...me, personally am not inclined to walk away from the only family I have. I am grateful lo2l came here to post and share since I am dreading my first sober Thanksgiving.
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