fireflies77

where do i start?
this is my third pregnancy, have drank through them all... thankfully my two older daughters are super healthy, behaviorally sound, excelling in school and compellingly empathetic children.

i am 30 weeks pregnant, and have tried from the beginning to deny alcohol during this pregnancy. on a regular day, not being pregnant, i drink between 2-6 beers, never "too much" but consistently... cannot avoid drinking.

during this pregnancy i have drank at least 2 beers per night, most often somewhere between 3-4 beers per night. i know my child has the potential of having FAS, and for that i cannot even stand myself.

with my other two children, i drank occasionally.. not everyday, and rarely more than 3 drinks per night. as i said before, they are well adjusted children who i am incredibly lucky to have.

i am not sure if it is even worth it at this point to stop drinking for my third daughter... i know in my heart of hearts it is... however, i must say.. the fact that i have drank almost every night of this pregnancy gives me no reason to feel that stopping now will have any affect.

can anyone tell me their experiences?

i know i need to stop... and there are tons of reasons to... and a ton of excuses. i know i have an alcoholic mind. i am hoping i can try to start to get sober... however, i have tried in the past... i am not sure how to start going about it to make it stick. and yes i have tried AA ... was sober for 6 months.. but honestly it was the toughest 6 months of my life...

any insight? thoughts? help?

Dee74

Hi Fireflies,

I'm not a parent, but absolutely everything I've ever read suggests that drinking, especially regular drinking, is not good for an unborn foetus. This thread seems to bear that out.

I know you'll agree with me - I think every child we bring into this world deserves the very best we can give them.

Please get help now - go see your doctor - be honest with them.

D

CarolD

I've never met an adult who told me they were proud and
please they had drinkers for parents.

I so hope you will quit drinking.... and wish you another healthy daughter


Welcome ...

lizisme

I live with the guilt everyday from drinking whilst pregnant. My kids have no obvious signs of trauma but who would ever know if maybe they might be different had I not drunk, the ramifications from the past may still creep us as my children grow. I regret my drinking so much. I regret not reaching out and admitting that I needed help even if it meant being locked up safely. I too thought when I fell pregnant it would be able to say no more so easily because it wasnt about me anymore...but thats the thing alcohol addiction doesnt care! I hope you reach out and get help, its easy for people to just say 'stop', and 'how could you be so selfish' etc etc, just know you can do it, you just have to be willing to save your childs life by asking for help. Best of well wishes

DayTrader

Fireflies....... check your Private Messages

CarolD

I removed a few post that were confused...and others that
commented on the confusion....

Please do share with our new member Firefly
if you want to offer your experiences.

Muunray

I drank during my first pregnancy- at least a shot every day, which means she was drinking every day.
Once born I don't think she slept more than 2 hours at a time for almost the first year. (I'm sure she had to go through some sort of withdrawal as a newborn.)
She has been a stressed out individual from the day she was born.
Not to go into details..but at the age of 18 she's on Klonopin and Celexa and Abilify. (And yes, sees psychiatrist, social worker, and psychologist regularly.) Of course, I cannot exactly identify the origins of her problems..but I can never rule out the choices that I made while pregnant.

Yeah....stop drinking for sure- don't impose yourself on someone that is helpless in choosing...and take care of yourself.

kiki5711

9 months of sacrifice is WORTH a life time of health.

I stopped everything like alcohol, smoking even coffee. I counted the days after the birth so I could have a nice cold beer.

Actually, after the baby was born , I was too involved and too tired to even think of drinking.

Hopeworks

My mother did not drink alcohol while pregnant with me and I have had no physical or mental problems develop.

She drank and smoked while pregnant with her middle child who was born premature and spent 8 weeks in the hospital fighting for her life. She had developmental problems and has had some psychological difficulties.

She drank even heavier with my little brother and was even bedridden during the last 8 weeks of pregnancy. My brother had mild signs of fetal alcohol syndrome and started drinking at the age of 13 and was a full blown alcoholic by the time he was an adult. He has been in and out of jail continuously and is in jail now facing prison for another DUI and Violation of Probation. If convicted he loses his license for life.

Alcohol is poison and it is very detrimental to the developing fetus ... please do whatever it takes to NOT DRINK while pregnant.

simplyfab

I never drank during my pregnancies..

There was no way I can take a drink knowing my baby was taking in the same thing. It's literally poison to your baby.
Don't ask who drank while pregnant and if their baby was ok. Every body is different. You're looking for validation and comfort. Not a way out...
I'm not a saint, and I too struggled w/ alcohol and know how strong a hold it has but...I also worked for a school district w/ the special needs children and would see first hand the damage alcohol did to children and the struggles they had to go through for the rest of their lives. The least damage you can do is giving them learning disabilities. The least.
My son has learning disabilities, and he was born premature at 24 and a half weeks. He weighed only 1 lb 14 oz when he was born. I didn't take a single drink while pregnant w/ him. It just happened. I went through so much depression thinking that somehow it was my fault. Even after the doctors assured me it was nothing I did. There was nothing to prevent it or even detect his premature birth.
My son struggles in school and also has ADD which is due to the bleeding in his brain as a result of his prematurity.
If there was any thing I could've done to prevent him from going through this, I would have.
You can prevent it. You have to stop.

I lost my way after I had my daughter and my kids had to see drunk mommy. That is something I have to live w/ for the rest of my life. But if I drank while pregnant and they had mental disabilities because of it, I wouldn't be able to live w/ myself.
You can have a healthy baby, and you're robbing him of that. This is for life! Whatever damage is for life. And no amount of therapy or rehabilitation or special classes is gonna make it go away or even make it easier.
Your child is gonna have an IEP following him for his whole school life and he's gonna be in special needs classes, have trouble learning, remembering and comprehending material, which will continue into adulthood. Its gonna be a constant reminder to you, but more importantly to your child, that you wouldn't stop drinking.

It's a scary world out there as it is...don't take away his chances at being the best person he can possibly be by disabling him for life. Something you couldve 100% avoided.
Just stop!

simplyfab

My bad...I must have confused the original posts' question while responding to you firefly..

Either way...find the courage to stop. Now!

thisisme

Yes we did drink.
He lived 4 days.

wanttobehealthy

I work with kids with special needs. Guess how many of their mothers have addictions of one kind or another? All but 2. I have 35 kids on my caseload.

Enough said.

Unborn babies don't have the ability to detach or walk away. I have to beg to differ with the poster who said not to stop drinking for your unborn baby but for yourself. Your baby deserves a chance and isn't getting it.

You can't undo what you've done but you can do a lot to not make it worse starting now.

There might not be studies linking ADD, EH, ASD and LD to maternal alcoholism (there are links between LD and alcoholism actually) but it's not a coincidence that almost all my students have educational and emotional disabilities and also have parents who are addicts.

KarenElaine

I hadn't become alcoholic yet when I was pregnant, but I was pregnant in the late seventies and early eighties, and doctors would say 'have a glass of wine before you go to bed, it will help you sleep'. These people were supposed to be well educated and were responsible for helping me grow healthy children! So, one glass is good? Well, six or seven must be just the tops! I didn't drink all that much in those days, but I did drink some through all three pregnancies, and all three of my sons have problems. ADHD, depression, problems adjusting. I have all three of them living with me now, even though the eldest is 31 and the youngest 26. But I can't kick them out, it's my own fault that they are like this. My eldest is in recovery now. I pray the other two will follow.
Do not use anything when you are pregnant, not even cough syrup. Be Mother Earth for nine months and you will have the rest of your life to be grateful you did.

grateful101010

God this thread is frightening. Pink Firefly, forget about drinking / not drinking while you're pregnant. Just don't drink today. And do the same thing the next day.

SoberNVa

this thread is actually a few months old. Pink has had her baby. A healthy little son.there is lots of good info and suggestions on here though if anyone happens to be reading who is pregnant and struggling with addiction.

CarolD

Yes...Pink is now sober 1 week
New member fireflies77 has not rturned.

It's time to let this thread go...it's closed.

Thanks everyone for sharing