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Old 10-04-2010, 09:23 AM   #1 (permalink)

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Did You Drink During Pregnancy, And Everything was fine with baby

Hey. I am an alcoholic and I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. I never drank at all with my first pregnancy. and then after having her I got post partum severely, and turned to alcohol. drank very heavily every night for about six months. Then I accidentally got pregnant with my 2nd child. and every since I have cut down and scaled back on the drinking a lot. I'm not binge drinking heavily every night. I've actually only been drinking about 1-2 drinks per week, milder drinks, not like vodka. tho, vodka was my drink of choice before getting pregnant. and I have had maybe about two slip ups during this pregnancy, where I binge drank. but only two times. My ultra sound for the baby looked very good. baby was developing nicely, and my doctor said he didn't see any signs of fas or anything. I'm so scared about every thing. I've been trying to do the best I can to not drink at all. It is so hard tho. Its all I think about and crave. and I try to over power the craving, but its like it has so much control over me. I'm proud of myself tho, I think I've been doing pretty well, all things considered. Its not like I'm getting trashed every night. or at all anymore. I havn't touched a drop of alcohol in over two weeks now. and trying hard not too. What about you. any one been in this situation during pregnancy, how did you deal with it, and if you did drink at all during the pregnancy, how did it turn out for the baby. I'm hoping and praying that baby will be born healthy. part of me thinks that every thing will be ok with baby, since I have cut down so much, and havn't been drinking that much. but part of me is scared, of what if? thanks so much. please don't judge or be mean. I already feel bad enough, and horrible about myself.
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Old 10-04-2010, 09:24 AM   #2 (permalink)
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When I found out I was pregnant, I gave up drinking and smoking. I gained quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy, but I figured I'd be gaining weight anyway. LOL.

Edit to add: I do think the very best thing you can do is be honest with your doctor and let him/her know about your drinking. While detoxing may be quite uncomfortable for a few days, I do think not drinking would be the very best thing while you are pregnant.
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Old 10-04-2010, 09:27 AM   #3 (permalink)

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I'm not speaking from experience, but my mom drank when she was carrying me.......I often wonder if that contributed somewhat to my appetite for alcohol?? who knows....I was also born at a low birth weight......personally I wouldn't chance it hun......xo
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Old 10-04-2010, 10:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I didn't drink or smoke during either of my pregnancies or much when I was nursing. That 3 year time period was the only time I was sober in 15 years of drinking. I was clean but not very happy about it because I had no idea I was an alcoholic at the time and I had no plan for help. I started drinking hard when my youngest was about 15 months.

I got into AA when my first kid was 4 and my second was 2. It has saved my life in so many ways.
I took month-long vacations in the stratosphere and y'know it's really hard to hold your breath
And I swear I lost everything I ever loved or feared, I was the cosmic kid in full costume dress. ~Springsteen
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Old 10-04-2010, 11:18 AM   #5 (permalink)

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PINK, I am not judging you .I am speaking AGAIN for your baby. I believe you already started a thread before this one today on the same issue. YOU can not drink while you are pregnant. Go get help. If you have to check yourself into a hospital and tell them what is happening. Maybe someone can control what you intake since you haviing problems doing it yourself. It sounds like you can't do this alone. That is okay we all need help sometimes. This message is sent with much concern and love for you and your unborn baby.
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Old 10-04-2010, 11:22 AM   #6 (permalink)

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Im ashamed to say that I drank with my 3 pregnancies, I never got Mortal but I did get Merry, I didnt drink every night back then but if I had the time over again I wouldnt drink maybe because I am more wiser now. Luckily my Children were ok.

Drink ruled me all my life until July this year.
Last alcohol Drink 8th July 2010
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Old 10-04-2010, 11:37 AM   #7 (permalink)

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My friend smoked and had a still born baby. He died at 37 weeks.

Another girl a knew of, not a close friend, did heroin and had a child with cleft lip problems.

Another friend drank throughout her pregnancy and a baby with learning disabilities, behavioral problems, slow weight gain, slow reaching milestones. She had about four drinks every other night.

So no it's not okay.
No, you don't know if everything will be okay.

Is it worth spending ten months worrying?

Totally not judging, totally not being mean.

Kids are hard work. Kids with disabilities (that could have been avoided) are even harder work.

Take care
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Old 10-04-2010, 11:42 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't have any children of my own but I have many friends who do. Some of them have had the rare glass of wine during their pregnancy with no problems. I know that all of my peers had mothers who drank (and some who smoked) during their pregnancies. We all seem healthy enough, although who knows if we would have been healthier without.

I don't think you should quit drinking for your unborn baby...I think you should quit drinking for yourself. You seem to have a serious problem with alcohol (you think about it all the time) and I hope you get the help you need to be a healthy and happy human being.
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Old 10-04-2010, 12:38 PM   #9 (permalink)

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I'm sorry for what you are going through. I know how frustrating it is to deal with addiction. I sincerely hope you find help for now and for after the baby is born. I know for me that if I went out drinking again, I would try to make up for the lost time of when I wasn't drinking and the result would be horrendous!

Please get help. Thinking about and worshiping alcohol is not fair to you, your child that is already born, or your baby inside you.
November 9th, 2009
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Old 10-04-2010, 01:01 PM   #10 (permalink)

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I really don't think that there is any way you are going to justify any amount of drinking during pregnancy. we are not giving medical advice, but you have to be truthful to your OB-gyn and tell them what you are battling every day. when you drink you endanger your child who cannot defend themselves against what you are putting in your body...they directly absorb the alcohol.

I *think* there is a person on this forum who has a child born with FAS, i'm hoping she is around to post and converse with you...(if i'm correct, i can't remember who it was).

please think before you decide to drink, come here to get support instead.
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Old 10-04-2010, 01:14 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Not all damage can be detected in an ultrasound. In fact, it may come out later through learning, developmental and behavioral challenges. FAS is not the only side effect of alcohol on a fetus. Please get help you really shouldn't subject a fetus to any substance not approved by your OB/Gyno, esp alcohol.

Best of luck. Hopefully you will be able to stop.

Last edited by Babyblue; 10-04-2010 at 01:15 PM. Reason: misspelling
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Old 10-04-2010, 01:55 PM   #12 (permalink)

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I just want you to know I keep thinking about you. Please keep us posted. You can get support here.
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Old 10-04-2010, 02:04 PM   #13 (permalink)
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My mother drank (rum & cokes, beer) and smoked Kent cigarettes while pregnant with me. I was born under 4 lbs., did not speak a word until 5 years old, and have many allergies.

In addition, I was one of those kids who'd get pulled out of class to attend special speech sessions.

I can joke about it today but her drinking / smoking was definitely the cause.
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” ~John Milton
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Old 10-04-2010, 03:01 PM   #14 (permalink)

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that's very true about the ultrasounds..doesn't show neurological disorders....
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Old 10-04-2010, 04:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Look, what's done is done, and you can't change it. There is a wide range of possible effects from drinking occasionally during pregnancy--from no measurable effects to serious problems. Hopefully, your baby will be just fine.

You can't keep rolling the dice, though. You know that. I very strongly suggest that you ask your doctor for help with this. Your doctor wants not only for the baby to be healthy, but for you to be in a position to be a good mom to your kids. Your cravings for alcohol is a sign that you most likely are an alcoholic. So it would pay for you to get started with AA or with rehab now. It will be a great gift for yourself and your kids for them to have a sober, healthy mom.
~ one breath at a time
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Old 10-04-2010, 04:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
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you can't undo what you did.....that is over....

You have been sober for 2 weeks...and that's a good deal.
You and your family will all benefit with your sobriety
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!

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Old 10-04-2010, 05:15 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Not to reiterate what's already been said, but what is done is done.

My personal experience is this: I'm an alcoholic. Unless I have a program of recovery, a design for living, nothing at all will stop me from picking up a drink.

I remember when I first got pregnant, I thought: This will fix me. I won't be able to drink for 9 months. One of the reasons I was glad to be pregnant was because I thought it would solve my drinking problem. If I had made it through my pregnancy, it would've been the longest stretch of sobriety I'd had in over ten years. I was 24 years old at the time, and I was a daily drinker. I made it 4 months and then I drank. The guilt was unbearable. I made it a few more months and went on a binge. I felt so utterly ashamed and helpless. I just couldn't put it down completely.

I'm not proud of having drank while I was pregnant. Today, when I give a lead, sometimes I will use it as an example of having lost the power of choice. I did not want to drink while pregnant, but I was an alcoholic with no mental defense against the first drink. The thing about alcoholism is this: once a person crosses that line into full-blown alcoholism, will power just doesn't work. I don't expect others to understand it if they haven't crossed that line. But I did, so I understand what it's like to NOT want to drink so badly because you know you're pregnant, but you do it anyways because you just can't stop.

The only suggestion I can make besides getting honest with your doctor is to get honest with yourself. Drinking while pregnant is a HUGE sign of being powerlessness over alcohol, wouldn't you say? What finally helped me quit for good and all is this: I went to AA. I got a sponsor who practiced the 12 steps. She guided me through those steps and I was as honest as I could be at the time, every step of the way. That's the only thing that worked for me.

I'll keep you and your unborn child in my prayers.
All Big Book quotes taken from Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Ed.
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:32 PM   #18 (permalink)

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What happens to one person might not happen to another. The creation of an individual is an event that cannot be easily replicated. It will have to do with the state of your body, your genetics, the father's genetics, and things I am not educated enough to list.

Quit for yourself and your baby, or quit for your baby, and then yourself. Your child's life inside your womb is delicate, but your child's life outside your womb will also be frail, and needful for the attentions of sober mother.

I don't think it will accomplish anything to judge you on any faults, but PLEASE let your children and your family judge you on your virtues. Be strong enough to do the right thing for your children. Don't look at a statistic and cross your fingers. Just do everything within your power to give your children the best possible chance. Love isn't a word. Love is a feeling manifested in actions like these.
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Old 10-04-2010, 06:20 PM   #19 (permalink)

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You can't undo what you have done, but you can stop anymore damage in the future. Just stop, now. maybe if you stop now, it will be OK. You know you need to stop or you would not have posted.Your baby could be Ok, If your baby is not, drinking more will only do more damage. You might be able to Undo some of what is already done by not drinking and taking care of yourself. The child is not a lost cause and neither are YOU. It isn't hopeless. You can make a difference. Don't drink anymore, get good nutrition, get some help if you can, but even you just don't drink, it WILL help your child. Make these last months count.
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:03 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Pink, I'm glad you posted and are sharing with us.

There is not judgement from me as I am alcoholic and I know too well how powerless I was to the bottle.

I am pregnant and I do not drink. Why? Well....I could read every horror story and statistic under the sun and it wouldn't help me. I lived and probably would've died by the bottle had I not said I am better then this and I won't let this destroy my life. Had I not come here and reached for support. Will power only got me to put down the drink but support is what has changed my life.

I got into recovery before I got pregnant. It was a surprise miracle and while I had been sober for a few months before I found out....I have been tested. Oh I have faced many a challenge prior to and during this pregnancy. Pregnancy can bring out some pretty yucky things like anxiety, etc. but none of which are worth drinking for. Nothing is ever better with alcohol.

You have 2 beautiful weeks sober....this is your time! You can't undo the past but you can definitely change your future and that of your baby. There are many options available to you for recovery....whether it be a meeting or counseling, etc.

Use this sober time and build on it. You need now the tools and the lifestyle to achieve healthy positive living and believe me....I no longer even think about drinking.

I am all about taking any positive steps to ensure my continued sobriety. I find that every day I find something new or I handle things just a bit better. It really is a blessing.

Huggs and stay the course. Perhaps we could create a thread for us and other women who are pregnant to provide support.

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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