Self-Esteem
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 81
Self-Esteem
So, I've posted on and off here for a few months. I have cut down SLIGHTLY on my drinking, but I'm still drinking far too excessively to be healthy. I'm just wondering if anybody else here feels a dramatic DECLINE in self-esteem during a binge; like you feel almost worthless, you think people are looking down on you, etc. These thoughts almost only come to be after I've been binging. Not sure if it's even significant, but just wondering if anybody else has experienced this.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
One of the chief reasons I decided to quit drinking
was because it made me detest the woman I had become...
Seems to fit in with your experiences Mark.
Once you get in that mental state...and
continue to drink....it gets much worse.
How We Get Addicted - TIME
Why not stop putting a liquid toxin in your brain?
Maby it's time to head into a healthier sober future.
I certainly hope you will....
was because it made me detest the woman I had become...
Seems to fit in with your experiences Mark.
Once you get in that mental state...and
continue to drink....it gets much worse.
How We Get Addicted - TIME
Why not stop putting a liquid toxin in your brain?
Maby it's time to head into a healthier sober future.
I certainly hope you will....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 72
Hey Maritimer Mark,
Yeah for sure this was a huge problem for me after a binge period of drinking.
I would say that the level of low I felt caused me to completely isolate and miss several days of work or any other social engagement I was commited to going to all because the drinking made me feel depressed, ashamed, panic, irritable and a complete mess.
Funny thing is when I could get some sobriety under my belt these things disappeared but not for long b/c I had to also recover mentally which is where some program like AA and SMART come into play.
Have you ever experienced the DT's? Now that will take you to a who new level of fear!
Yeah for sure this was a huge problem for me after a binge period of drinking.
I would say that the level of low I felt caused me to completely isolate and miss several days of work or any other social engagement I was commited to going to all because the drinking made me feel depressed, ashamed, panic, irritable and a complete mess.
Funny thing is when I could get some sobriety under my belt these things disappeared but not for long b/c I had to also recover mentally which is where some program like AA and SMART come into play.
Have you ever experienced the DT's? Now that will take you to a who new level of fear!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wausau WI
Posts: 134
Yea. I always feel horrible about myself while I am drinking. I feel like a weak person, who can't control what I do. and I hate being out of control of my actions. Its normal to feel this way. also, alcohol is a depressant, so it does have that effect on most people who binge drink regularily.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: England
Posts: 137
A yes from me we all had those feelings, and the sad thing is that people DO look down on us staggering around drunk all the time, making an exhibition. We have low self exteem because we know the way we are acting when drunk it not socially acceptable.
If we were normal when drunk and didnt feel ill afterwards we would not have these feelings.
The only way to get rid of all these is to quit altogether.
Good luck hun,
Suzie x
If we were normal when drunk and didnt feel ill afterwards we would not have these feelings.
The only way to get rid of all these is to quit altogether.
Good luck hun,
Suzie x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by drumstick 
Hey Maritimer Mark,
Yeah for sure this was a huge problem for me after a binge period of drinking.
I would say that the level of low I felt caused me to completely isolate and miss several days of work or any other social engagement I was commited to going to all because the drinking made me feel depressed, ashamed, panic, irritable and a complete mess.
Funny thing is when I could get some sobriety under my belt these things disappeared but not for long b/c I had to also recover mentally which is where some program like AA and SMART come into play.
Have you ever experienced the DT's? Now that will take you to a who new level of fear!
Yeah for sure this was a huge problem for me after a binge period of drinking.
I would say that the level of low I felt caused me to completely isolate and miss several days of work or any other social engagement I was commited to going to all because the drinking made me feel depressed, ashamed, panic, irritable and a complete mess.
Funny thing is when I could get some sobriety under my belt these things disappeared but not for long b/c I had to also recover mentally which is where some program like AA and SMART come into play.
Have you ever experienced the DT's? Now that will take you to a who new level of fear!
Thanks for the insight. I've never had DTs before thankfully, but have heard they are definitely a terrifying experience.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Mark, I'm pretty sure you talked about having quivering hands a few months ago. I don't remember that much about self-perception issues you were having back then, but maybe you were having them. Or maybe they are felt more readily nowadays, because the added toll of drinking since then has brought you through to another of its cycles.
In my answer I can't say that I have a restored confidence that is very satisfying to me. I'm having issues with it, unfortunately. I recognize that I have some more work to do in my new sobriety when it comes to that. But I also remember I had rotten periods of low self-esteem during my drinking career too, and it would just pile up. I guess I would call what I have an imperfect peace since then. Drinking included illusions of strength, but there was a voice questioning how much longer I could last.
But now I have a thankfulness inside that I'm not drinking, and it encourages me to keep trying at being better, more assertive without being cantankerous, more articulate; whatever. I self-inflicted a lot of beatings through drinking that I didn't have to endure. While I don't have the first drink (and as long as I don't), I can say that THAT kind of beating cannot get at me anymore. I wouldn't suspect my symptoms were the same as yours, but I did see my fingers quivering sometimes when alcohol was in my system, and now they do not. Alcohol isn't deceiving me about emotional or mental strength inside me (only to bring me down) anymore either. That "medication" or tool is gone.
In my answer I can't say that I have a restored confidence that is very satisfying to me. I'm having issues with it, unfortunately. I recognize that I have some more work to do in my new sobriety when it comes to that. But I also remember I had rotten periods of low self-esteem during my drinking career too, and it would just pile up. I guess I would call what I have an imperfect peace since then. Drinking included illusions of strength, but there was a voice questioning how much longer I could last.
But now I have a thankfulness inside that I'm not drinking, and it encourages me to keep trying at being better, more assertive without being cantankerous, more articulate; whatever. I self-inflicted a lot of beatings through drinking that I didn't have to endure. While I don't have the first drink (and as long as I don't), I can say that THAT kind of beating cannot get at me anymore. I wouldn't suspect my symptoms were the same as yours, but I did see my fingers quivering sometimes when alcohol was in my system, and now they do not. Alcohol isn't deceiving me about emotional or mental strength inside me (only to bring me down) anymore either. That "medication" or tool is gone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Oh God Mark yes!
You feel like s#$@!
Much worse feelings once you start to try and give up, definately! That is why it is so important not to be casual about relapse. I found it soul-destroying. I am afraid to drink for this reason. On day 14 after a crap 17months trying!!!! Put every ounce of strength into quitting. Got to be easier than that feeling! Big hugs and best to you.
You feel like s#$@!
Much worse feelings once you start to try and give up, definately! That is why it is so important not to be casual about relapse. I found it soul-destroying. I am afraid to drink for this reason. On day 14 after a crap 17months trying!!!! Put every ounce of strength into quitting. Got to be easier than that feeling! Big hugs and best to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I definitely did Mark. Made getting help very difficult.
Once I quit drinking and got support.....I have the ups/downs of life but I never feel hopeless.
Kinda funny how recovery works
I know I could never moderate so pouring out the alcohol and getting support was the only solution and I am blessed every day now.
All the best!
Once I quit drinking and got support.....I have the ups/downs of life but I never feel hopeless.
Kinda funny how recovery works
I know I could never moderate so pouring out the alcohol and getting support was the only solution and I am blessed every day now.
All the best!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lomita, California
Posts: 200
Once that buzz/ high/ euphoria from the first few drinks/ lines/ puffs wore off, it was always a downward spiral. The more I did, the worse I felt, and I just kept wanting to feel better, so I just did more. Drink/ snort/ smoke.
DT's? I guess I just went thru detox but I never what to go thru that again. (first time I got sober was on a kidney machine and under sedation so I wouldn't pull the breathing tube out again) But I made it this time, 34 days now with a new outlook and a fantastic support group behind me.
Do this for you, Mark. You have a great life ahead of you.
DT's? I guess I just went thru detox but I never what to go thru that again. (first time I got sober was on a kidney machine and under sedation so I wouldn't pull the breathing tube out again) But I made it this time, 34 days now with a new outlook and a fantastic support group behind me.
Do this for you, Mark. You have a great life ahead of you.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
My pattern was to drink for 2 or 3 days, wake up hating myself and what I had done, gradually feel a bit better with each passing sober day, get hammered again. All the while feeling sorry for myself and how the whole world was against me.
Today, is so much different. I am confident, responsible, and really enjoying life.
What can I say? It's awesome being me!
Today, is so much different. I am confident, responsible, and really enjoying life.
What can I say? It's awesome being me!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 200
I remember as a kid getting drunk and feeling mentally horrible the next day.
Even just ten years ago staring at myself in the bathroom mirror the next morning calling myself a "disgusting creature" and the like. Self-loathing is never productive.
Even just ten years ago staring at myself in the bathroom mirror the next morning calling myself a "disgusting creature" and the like. Self-loathing is never productive.
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