Sharing my story tomorrow nite. EEK
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 19
Sharing my story tomorrow nite. EEK
Hello All,
Well, this month I reached my 1st year of sobriety. My sponsor and other old timers started the " Great, now you get to tell your story at the end of the month" pitch. When I asked my sponsor what I should share she said to pray about it and God would give me the words to say.
I have put off thinking too hard about it so as to not drive my self crazy. I have to speak tomorrow nite!!! Have no idea what I am going to say. Yes, I have prayed about it but, every time I try to think about it... all this unnecessary crap that has happened in my life starts rolling around in my head and I get side tracked.
I was told by other people to try and keep it general and I try to do this (in my head) but, can't. I know it's MY story and it is, what it is. I just don't want to share TMI and make it a jumbled mess. I want to share the message not the mess.
I am very greatful for AA because it helps keep me sober. People always tell me they like what I share in the meetings. Why am I having stage fright now? Perfomance anxiety much?????
Can ya'll share your experience the first time you shared your story and how you did it?
Thanks bunches,
Well, this month I reached my 1st year of sobriety. My sponsor and other old timers started the " Great, now you get to tell your story at the end of the month" pitch. When I asked my sponsor what I should share she said to pray about it and God would give me the words to say.
I have put off thinking too hard about it so as to not drive my self crazy. I have to speak tomorrow nite!!! Have no idea what I am going to say. Yes, I have prayed about it but, every time I try to think about it... all this unnecessary crap that has happened in my life starts rolling around in my head and I get side tracked.
I was told by other people to try and keep it general and I try to do this (in my head) but, can't. I know it's MY story and it is, what it is. I just don't want to share TMI and make it a jumbled mess. I want to share the message not the mess.
I am very greatful for AA because it helps keep me sober. People always tell me they like what I share in the meetings. Why am I having stage fright now? Perfomance anxiety much?????
Can ya'll share your experience the first time you shared your story and how you did it?
Thanks bunches,
Last edited by CarolD; 09-25-2010 at 01:52 PM.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hm, I think the first time I share my story was when I was several months sober, when one of my friends who was opening the meeting asked me to. I did it last night at one of my home groups, to celebrate my two years.
The format I usually hear is to tell "what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now." Share enough details of your drinking so a newcomer can identify. Talk about any struggles you had to accept the first step. Talk about how you've remained sober for the past year--especially if you've been working the steps.
One tip--be sure to know how long you are expected to speak. Most groups expect anywhere from ten to thirty minutes for the speaker, but each group does it a little differently, so ask if you don't know.
Remember to speak from the heart. This isn't a business presentation or a speech for an Academy Award. Keep it simple, grateful, humble.
You will do JUST FINE!!!
The format I usually hear is to tell "what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now." Share enough details of your drinking so a newcomer can identify. Talk about any struggles you had to accept the first step. Talk about how you've remained sober for the past year--especially if you've been working the steps.
One tip--be sure to know how long you are expected to speak. Most groups expect anywhere from ten to thirty minutes for the speaker, but each group does it a little differently, so ask if you don't know.
Remember to speak from the heart. This isn't a business presentation or a speech for an Academy Award. Keep it simple, grateful, humble.
You will do JUST FINE!!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I never know what I am going to say when I share.
I just do a quick HP prayer....asking that my
expereince benefits someone else.
You will be just fine...Congratulations .....
I just do a quick HP prayer....asking that my
expereince benefits someone else.
You will be just fine...Congratulations .....
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
One thing about praying to God for the words to say for an open talk..... God knows u and He knows that if u got those perfect words the week before, the day before even.....you'd likely want to mess with them. This is partly an exercise in practicing your trust in God. He'll come through - usually right as you're saying, "hello, my name is xxxxxxxx, I'm a recovered alcoholic and my last drink was on ......"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 19
Thanks for the input everyone. Went to a speaker meeting tonight in the hopes of getting a game plan for tomorrow. The speaker was all over the place and didn't share much e,s & h. My problem is that I have an expectation of how it should/will be. I know that is not good so, I will pray tonight and tomorrow giving my HP the reins to guide me through this. Turning it over, not going to worry about it.
Tomorrw will be a good day tho. Having dinner with a bunch of AA's at Bucca Di Bepo for the September birthdays BEFORE the meeting I have to speak at. I will eat light so I don't get too sleepy. Would be a shame to fall asleep in the middle of my story. OR Would it???? lol
Tomorrw will be a good day tho. Having dinner with a bunch of AA's at Bucca Di Bepo for the September birthdays BEFORE the meeting I have to speak at. I will eat light so I don't get too sleepy. Would be a shame to fall asleep in the middle of my story. OR Would it???? lol
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
I have no great advice. But I was too excited not to post. Congrats on one year.
For me, centering and grounding help when I am nervous. Feeling my feet on the ground and focusing on my breath helps. Keeps me connected to my body.
Even if you are nervous, your story will help someone in the room.
For me, centering and grounding help when I am nervous. Feeling my feet on the ground and focusing on my breath helps. Keeps me connected to my body.
Even if you are nervous, your story will help someone in the room.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 42
One thing I heard that helps if you're going to speak in front of a group is
to focus on one person in the room and start talking then shift your eyes on
another person and so forth.... that's what I do when I share in the rooms
it kinda takes the anxiety away and lets you get the words out.
to focus on one person in the room and start talking then shift your eyes on
another person and so forth.... that's what I do when I share in the rooms
it kinda takes the anxiety away and lets you get the words out.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Wear a watch....and do your best to make sure you don't go too long. I usually forget to look at the darn thing so I also have someone in the audience keep track of the time and give me a wave or some gesture to let me know when I have 15 minutes left and another when I have 5 left.
I also have to agree with pretending you're talking TO specific ppl. I tend to look "through" the folks as I'm talking.....like I'm focusing on something 20' behind that person.....so I'm not really focusing in on their eyes, but everyone has their own style.
I also went looking for a couple jokes.....there are some here on SR and you can google a lot of "drinking jokes" too....it's a good way to start.
I also have to agree with pretending you're talking TO specific ppl. I tend to look "through" the folks as I'm talking.....like I'm focusing on something 20' behind that person.....so I'm not really focusing in on their eyes, but everyone has their own style.
I also went looking for a couple jokes.....there are some here on SR and you can google a lot of "drinking jokes" too....it's a good way to start.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by DayTrader 
Wear a watch....and do your best to make sure you don't go too long. I usually forget to look at the darn thing
Pretty obvious you don't wear a watch, since she was sharing TONIGHT.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Speaking of jokes to break the ice.....
one time...at my home group...I took the mike....and said.....
My name is Elizabeth T. and I've changed a lot in AA recovery
one time...at my home group...I took the mike....and said.....
My name is Elizabeth T. and I've changed a lot in AA recovery
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
heh..... I didn't notice the date of the first post.....
darn........there goes my perfect record of posts that have been nothing short fantastically crafted strings of perfect little pearls wonderfully on-point all the time.
LOL
......watch this.... she'll come back and say she wished she had a watch on because she went long... LOL
Well Heidi.........HOW'D IT GO??? YOU'VE GOTTA LET US KNOW
darn........there goes my perfect record of posts that have been nothing short fantastically crafted strings of perfect little pearls wonderfully on-point all the time.
LOL
......watch this.... she'll come back and say she wished she had a watch on because she went long... LOL
Well Heidi.........HOW'D IT GO??? YOU'VE GOTTA LET US KNOW
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 19
Well peeps I survived.
It didn't have the time line sequence I wanted to have and I left out some things that left ppl a little confused and I broke down when I got to the part about my sponsor picking me up and dusting me off asking me if I was ready to quit and was greateful she didn't fire me.
I was so scared I could not concentrate and forgot every suggestion you guys told me. I had a 15-20 minute share and found that it wasn't time enough and when it got down to the end I freaked.
I walked away with an emo hangover and feeling mad. I wanted to crawl under a rock.
A lot of ppl came up to me and said they liked my story, that they could relate and that they loved how I made it REAL. I got lots of huggs and congrats. I made them laugh and I made them cry.
My sponsor said I was mad because I cried in front of everyone. I have a problem crying in front of ppl. I have taught myself that it is a sign of weakness and it really pisses me off to show that emo in public. It is something I am working on.
The good news is that I faced something I was terrified to do. Pre program I would have run the other way and got drunk over it. I do not have that option today so I faced my fear.
I get to do it all over again tonight.
I will be glad when this is all over.
Thanks to all of you for the support and suggestions.
It didn't have the time line sequence I wanted to have and I left out some things that left ppl a little confused and I broke down when I got to the part about my sponsor picking me up and dusting me off asking me if I was ready to quit and was greateful she didn't fire me.
I was so scared I could not concentrate and forgot every suggestion you guys told me. I had a 15-20 minute share and found that it wasn't time enough and when it got down to the end I freaked.
I walked away with an emo hangover and feeling mad. I wanted to crawl under a rock.
A lot of ppl came up to me and said they liked my story, that they could relate and that they loved how I made it REAL. I got lots of huggs and congrats. I made them laugh and I made them cry.
My sponsor said I was mad because I cried in front of everyone. I have a problem crying in front of ppl. I have taught myself that it is a sign of weakness and it really pisses me off to show that emo in public. It is something I am working on.
The good news is that I faced something I was terrified to do. Pre program I would have run the other way and got drunk over it. I do not have that option today so I faced my fear.
I get to do it all over again tonight.
I will be glad when this is all over.
Thanks to all of you for the support and suggestions.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
The GUY who shared at our anniversary meeting where I shared on Friday cried. I've seen numerous guys get choked up and shed tears when they are sharing their story.
I think you did great. Accept the compliments--you shared from the heart, and that is what counts.
The more times you tell it, the better sense you will have of the time element. I've shared my story in as little as 10 minutes and as long as 30. Some stays in, some comes out. It's rarely perfect. I'M not perfect. It's all OK, honestly. You may have shared something that was EXACTLY what ONE person needed to hear that night.
I'm proud of you. Congrats again on your year.
I think you did great. Accept the compliments--you shared from the heart, and that is what counts.
The more times you tell it, the better sense you will have of the time element. I've shared my story in as little as 10 minutes and as long as 30. Some stays in, some comes out. It's rarely perfect. I'M not perfect. It's all OK, honestly. You may have shared something that was EXACTLY what ONE person needed to hear that night.
I'm proud of you. Congrats again on your year.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 19
Last nites share went much better. After being in a funk all day from the night before and not wanting to go through it all over again, I walked away feeling awesome. I was a lot less nervous and I didn't cry.
Someone asked me to share at another meeting and I said I would think about it. It would be a 45 min share and I don't know if I am up for that yet but, I will pray about it and see how I feel when the time comes to confirm.
Thank you all for the support!
Someone asked me to share at another meeting and I said I would think about it. It would be a 45 min share and I don't know if I am up for that yet but, I will pray about it and see how I feel when the time comes to confirm.
Thank you all for the support!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by heideho
Last nites share went much better. After being in a funk all day from the night before and not wanting to go through it all over again, I walked away feeling awesome. I was a lot less nervous and I didn't cry.
Someone asked me to share at another meeting and I said I would think about it. It would be a 45 min share and I don't know if I am up for that yet but, I will pray about it and see how I feel when the time comes to confirm.
Thank you all for the support!
Someone asked me to share at another meeting and I said I would think about it. It would be a 45 min share and I don't know if I am up for that yet but, I will pray about it and see how I feel when the time comes to confirm.
Thank you all for the support!
glad #2 felt better.
I've found that the talks I've done that I really "felt good" about didn't really reach as many ppl as the one's I felt less good about. Hmmmm, quite the conundrum.... give the talks I LIKE and reach a few or give the talks they like, reach many, but I don't feel so good...... Do ya see the selfishness and self-centeredness in there? lol
Still searching for that PERFECT talk that I love AND they love..... haven't found it yet...
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by heideho
Someone asked me to share at another meeting and I said I would think about it. It would be a 45 min share and I don't know if I am up for that yet but, I will pray about it and see how I feel when the time comes to confirm.
I say do it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Part of me is a little uncomfortable when recanting my ex drinking saga. Not the speaking part but just bringing up bad memories. At the same time, knowing how bad things were keeps me grounded and aware of the beauty of sobriety.
I like to talk but 45 minutes would just about do me in!!
Dave
ps There is a "Stories of Recovery" section here that is powerful and it might be a good place to submit your story in writing; Lexie, your story was oddly familiar and riveting!
I like to talk but 45 minutes would just about do me in!!
Dave
ps There is a "Stories of Recovery" section here that is powerful and it might be a good place to submit your story in writing; Lexie, your story was oddly familiar and riveting!
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