How Do You Deal With the How's and Why's?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
I wouldn't say that you are to early in sobriety to help someone else. Stugotz gave an excellent reply to this question.
My only problem is that the question pops up when they are drinking and more than likely well on there way. If they are serious about quitting, see if they approach you when they are sober and hopefully they have an openmind.
I can only speak for myself, but if I was to ask a question like that while I was drinking and even just half in the bag, probably wouldn't remember the next day, for sure I know I wouldn't. Even if I did though, I more than likely would have thought to myself, hey, maybe they have a problem but I know I don't. So why would I want to quit drinking?
My own opinion and experience.
Harry
My only problem is that the question pops up when they are drinking and more than likely well on there way. If they are serious about quitting, see if they approach you when they are sober and hopefully they have an openmind.
I can only speak for myself, but if I was to ask a question like that while I was drinking and even just half in the bag, probably wouldn't remember the next day, for sure I know I wouldn't. Even if I did though, I more than likely would have thought to myself, hey, maybe they have a problem but I know I don't. So why would I want to quit drinking?
My own opinion and experience.
Harry
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
The more I have thought about it Harry and Stu, I was contemplating whether I should approach them in a sober state and ask "hey you mentioned the other night you were interested in how I quit drinking and I never really responded, well are you still interested?"
But on the other habd I do like to keep my issues in a somewhat anonymous forum, and I'm not looking to broadcast to the community what I have been up to the last few years, so I am going to keep quiet for fear of incriminating myself. If they really want help I am sure they can find me. We are all different although many of our issues with alcohol are the same, and I think if I would have approached someone drunk about my drinking problem, only to have them approach me while I was sober I would probably deny I was looking for help.
But on the other habd I do like to keep my issues in a somewhat anonymous forum, and I'm not looking to broadcast to the community what I have been up to the last few years, so I am going to keep quiet for fear of incriminating myself. If they really want help I am sure they can find me. We are all different although many of our issues with alcohol are the same, and I think if I would have approached someone drunk about my drinking problem, only to have them approach me while I was sober I would probably deny I was looking for help.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by stugotz 
Actually now is the time that your message is the most powerful. Early in my sobriety I was more impressed by the "short timers" than those with many decades sober. It was too hard for me to fathom all that time sober so it was easier to relate to.
I haven't run into this problem, because everyone is my social circle knows exactly why I quit and what a mess my life was becoming. If someone asked me that didn't know, I would say "I quit drinking, because it was causing way more problems than it was solving" I think that is pretty simple for them to figure out.
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