coffeeclub

Does anyone have powerful words that can keep me from drinking tonight. All I want to do is drown my sorrows. I just want to feel bad for myself. I don't have the courage to fix things. I truly hate myself as a person. I hate who I am and I know exactly what I would like to be. But some things are are unattainable. For instances, scared of taking risks like going on roller coasters, scared of heights, bad eyesight, slow to catch on. There are other week points that I have that I am working on changing. Drinking tonight will not help but I still want to drown my sorrows. I'm going to be around beer tonight and it's free. The only thing that will keep me is I have to drive there. I'm truly scared to change and to be happy. I love my wife but she is everything I want to be and she is a constant reminder of what I want to be like. If we were not going to such big changes in our life I think I would be a coward and leave. When I get to home I want to go to the bar, it will cause issues with my wife. The scary part is if I don't drink today then it will be tomorrow or even the next day. I wish I could have one or 2 or 6 or 7 but it will be closer to 10 and 14.

lildawg

Here's one thing to consider: I don't know how much sober time you have, but you're one drink from throwing it all away. If you drink tonight, you'll get to start all over at finding the strength to quit again . . . or not.

I always tell people that, no, I won't take one itty bitty drink because

A) I know it will turn into 100 itty bitty drinks

and

B) I don't have the strength to quit again.

Supercrew

How about "Don't drink tonight", or "Don't go where the free beer is"? Quit hating yourself, roller coasters aren't that fun, stay low to the ground, get glasses or contacts, be more aware so you can catch on quicker.

Don't drive drunk, If you really love your wife, don't drink and cause issues with her. If you want to be like your wife, model her actions and have her help you become the person you want to be. Your wife didn't marry a coward, and don't be afraid of change, because change is good, and it means we are growing.

We all have daily issues and tribulations to deal with, remember that alcohol will not fix or even help them, and set one goal today....stay sober today, don't pick up the first drink, go to sleep and start over tomorrow, life will get better!

CarolD

Why not find an AA meeting ...just go and listen?
It just might be a turning point for you....

My recovery from alcoholism required change and action

Blessings to you and your wife

luckedog

Coffeeclub, I'M sorry but I don’t think there are any "magic" words that can stop you from drinking if you are determined to do so.
You said it yourself "Drinking tonight will not help but I still want to drown my sorrows" If it won’t help then why listen to your alcoholic voice. I have felt like you do most of the week end. I thought " I’ve got quite a bit of sober time in, I have worked hard, I deserve a break" The thing that kept me sober is that I KNOW it wouldn’t stop with one drink or one night or maybe even one week- year... I have made the decision that I don’t want to live like that anymore! Therefore I can’t have that first drink! That is A personal MENTAL choice that I have made-I'm sober because I want to be.
I hope you make the right decision!

suki44883

There is nothing so bad that alcohol can't make worse. There is no such thing as drowning our sorrows. Our sorrows will still be there tomorrow. Why not work on making your life better instead of wanting to drink over it? Sorry to sound harsh, and I really don't mean to, but you already know that drinking is not the right thing to do. Why are you going somewhere that will have a bunch of free beer if you are trying not to drink? Sometimes a little common sense can go a long way.

LaFemme

I would start by not going where the free beer is. You say your eyesight is bad, did you know drinking is bad for your vision? As Suki says, drinking tonight will not get rid of your sorrows. I don't go to AA, but I think Carol is right and an AA meeting might be a good place for you to go tonight.

Best of luck!

bdiddy5522

I found that wishing things would change without actually taking steps to change them led to nowhere buy disappointment and misery. Reach out for help and see what happens. I think you will surprise yourself. Like Carol said, why not try an AA meeting? I am going to one tonight and that sure helps keep me sober.

Boleo

Words no, actions yes.

When I was an OTR Truck Driver, there were days when I wished I had never given up drinking. When all else failed to relieve my despair, I found something "simple but not easy" that worked every time for me:

I contrived foolishness;

I picked up litter in parking lots
I cleaned restrooms when no one else was around
I let salesmen sell me stuff I had no use for
I bought the worst possible products at the worst possible price
I tipped terrible waitresses 50%
I was even nice to people who were mean to me (this was the toughest one of all)

These are just examples of the kinds of things that attract peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose into my life. I am not telling you to do these these things specifically, but rather to think of your own ideas that are exactly opposite from what your pride and intellect would have you do.

When pride and intellect suffer, you don't.