LifeBlows

Something happened this weekend. Over the last 6 weeks or so I've been trying to get sober. I'd be sober Monday - Friday evening and then I'd drink. Which would make for a 2 week binge. Then I'd be feeling so bad I'd stop, rinse and repeat.

Its Sunday now and I've been sober since Wednesday. Its funny I didn't actually decide not to drink this weekend. I thought about drinking, I wanted to drink, I had the money to drink, but there was something holding me back. Its hard to explain.

Intellectually I know that this is huge because the weekend cravings were just scary for me and its taken a couple of tries for me to be able to face them. There is another part of me, 'the disease' I guess that is flagelating me for not buying alcohol.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't feel like my emotional state or desire to be sober were any greater than they have been over the last few months. But here I am. And it worries me because if I don't know why I stayed sober over the last few days then how will I keep staying sober.

mercurial me

Don't psychoanalyze too much, just be grateful for the weekend and keep it up!

wren

You have the option of thinking of it as a gift from a higher power.

Ananda

well...since you asked if it was your HP...i'd say er...maybe it isn't what you did but what the HP did...

Maybe just let it do it again and move on

DayTrader

That's the way HP rolls! ....and that's what "Him doing for us what we could not do on our own" means.

We alkis are some strong-willed folks and we try sooooo hard to use that will against booze, only to fail over and over. When HP steps in, it's a whole new ballgame. Now's your chance to say "THANKS!" and try to cover your end of the bargain.

Congrats.

wren

How are things this week, LifeBlows?