Forgiveness
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Central Europe
Posts: 1
Forgiveness
I am a 32 year old newcomer here who has "lost" about 13 years because of abusing booze and marijuana, almost daily. I realized my addiction about 5 years ago and am still struggling with it, so far unsuccessfully. Recently I got into a personally unpleasant situation and want to quit finally and start a better life. And - of course - it is pretty difficult. When I try to stay sober the most difficult thing for me is to be in touch with myself, with my accusing ideas that remind me those lost years I can't take back. Those opportunities I irrecoverably lost just because of my stupidity... Those things I probably may not be able to catch up any more. This self-blaming really hurts me and sooner or later leads to another fail in my resolution to stay clear because than I slip to my old behaviour to foolish my consciousness and forget.
You - who are successful with not drinking any more and feel happy again - could you please give me an advice how you have succeed to overcome the sense of guilt and have forgiven yourself and the world around this quilt and lost years? This advice would me help soooo much. Thank you.
You - who are successful with not drinking any more and feel happy again - could you please give me an advice how you have succeed to overcome the sense of guilt and have forgiven yourself and the world around this quilt and lost years? This advice would me help soooo much. Thank you.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....
Yes. many of us can relate to the losses and remorse
that came about from our drinking.
For me....depression is what made me begin AA recovery.
Drinking had turned me empty and cold...I felt my mind
was so saturated ...it was dying.
The first thing I needed to do was completely quit drinking.
Nothing positive happened until I did.
My new life started by useing God and AA...the
AA steps taught me how to move forward.
i learned how to forgive myself.
You might want to check with your doctor on how best to
de tox. That can be dangerous to do.
Good to see a new member....
Yes. many of us can relate to the losses and remorse
that came about from our drinking.
For me....depression is what made me begin AA recovery.
Drinking had turned me empty and cold...I felt my mind
was so saturated ...it was dying.
The first thing I needed to do was completely quit drinking.
Nothing positive happened until I did.
My new life started by useing God and AA...the
AA steps taught me how to move forward.
i learned how to forgive myself.
You might want to check with your doctor on how best to
de tox. That can be dangerous to do.
Good to see a new member....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 758
I'm only 2+ months sober now so I don't claim to be one of the ones that are Successful "yet", but I understand what your saying and why you feel like those years were a waste and blame yourself for it. But you can't look at it that way. You can't change the past, and like the old saying goes if your always looking back then you will never move forward.
Don't look at the past and wish you could change it because it's a futile thing to do. Instead look at it as a growing experience that made you a better person TODAY. At least that's what I do with my past and it works for me. There's a lot of things I did for years & years in my past that I would change if I could. But all I can change is what I do today so I just move forward each day, and that's all any of us can do.
Steve
Don't look at the past and wish you could change it because it's a futile thing to do. Instead look at it as a growing experience that made you a better person TODAY. At least that's what I do with my past and it works for me. There's a lot of things I did for years & years in my past that I would change if I could. But all I can change is what I do today so I just move forward each day, and that's all any of us can do.
Steve
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 9
i was in a similar situation, im clean for 2 weeks now
i averaged 10 beers/day mixed with about 2grams weed/day
if u want some inspiration here is a link to my story.
exercise/healthy eating/rest is the best combination, mixed with inspiration from top athletes and the right music.
All comes down to inner strength; hope u find your inner strength to like being clean more than like being drugged/drunk.
U need to want a challenge and not want to go back to an easy life.
Now i am content that i was right when my mentality changed to ''i love being sober/clean more than i love being high/drunk''
Hope u get encouraged make the right decision with conviction and optimism and follow an organized strategy before you get a non-reversable disease, like lung/liver cancer or some **** like that.
Im a strong believer that in order to win the battle vs drugs/alcohol an unhealthy addiction has to be replaced by a healthy addiction.
Good luck, being sober is not necessarly a bad thing
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...24-2010-a.html
i averaged 10 beers/day mixed with about 2grams weed/day
if u want some inspiration here is a link to my story.
exercise/healthy eating/rest is the best combination, mixed with inspiration from top athletes and the right music.
All comes down to inner strength; hope u find your inner strength to like being clean more than like being drugged/drunk.
U need to want a challenge and not want to go back to an easy life.
Now i am content that i was right when my mentality changed to ''i love being sober/clean more than i love being high/drunk''
Hope u get encouraged make the right decision with conviction and optimism and follow an organized strategy before you get a non-reversable disease, like lung/liver cancer or some **** like that.
Im a strong believer that in order to win the battle vs drugs/alcohol an unhealthy addiction has to be replaced by a healthy addiction.
Good luck, being sober is not necessarly a bad thing
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...24-2010-a.html
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Howdy belzebub.
I consider myself a successfully recovered alcoholic and generally pretty darn happy guy. That was not the case at one point in my life.
I recovered as the result of a spiritual awakening by taking AA's 12 Steps. I continue to live by the principles of that program, and it's kept me sober and happy for a few years now.
As the result of taking a thorough inventory in the 4th Step, seeking the removal of my character defects in Steps 6-7, and setting right the damage I had done in Step 9, I live a fairly guilt free life. I did some horrendous things in my past. Today, some of the most horrendous things are some of my greatest assets in helping other alcoholics.
That guilt and shame for me was largely the result of my selfishness, the manifestation of my obsession with ME. The 12 Steps gave me a way of getting out of that bondage of self.
Being free of that bondage, and the guilt that goes with it, is the result of being recovered. It is not, in my experience, the path to getting recovered.
Your post indicates that you know all about why you drink. In AA, we call that self-knowledge. Through bitter experience, our book says, we have learned that the real alcoholic will be unable to stay sober on the basis of self knowledge. Something else is required.
Those 12 Steps are all about getting that 'something else' working for you.
I consider myself a successfully recovered alcoholic and generally pretty darn happy guy. That was not the case at one point in my life.
I recovered as the result of a spiritual awakening by taking AA's 12 Steps. I continue to live by the principles of that program, and it's kept me sober and happy for a few years now.
As the result of taking a thorough inventory in the 4th Step, seeking the removal of my character defects in Steps 6-7, and setting right the damage I had done in Step 9, I live a fairly guilt free life. I did some horrendous things in my past. Today, some of the most horrendous things are some of my greatest assets in helping other alcoholics.
That guilt and shame for me was largely the result of my selfishness, the manifestation of my obsession with ME. The 12 Steps gave me a way of getting out of that bondage of self.
Being free of that bondage, and the guilt that goes with it, is the result of being recovered. It is not, in my experience, the path to getting recovered.
Your post indicates that you know all about why you drink. In AA, we call that self-knowledge. Through bitter experience, our book says, we have learned that the real alcoholic will be unable to stay sober on the basis of self knowledge. Something else is required.
Those 12 Steps are all about getting that 'something else' working for you.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by belzebub 
You - who are successful with not drinking any more and feel happy again - could you please give me an advice how you have succeed to overcome the sense of guilt and have forgiven yourself and the world around this quilt and lost years? This advice would me help soooo much.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 812
Originally Posted by belzebub
You - who are successful with not drinking any more and feel happy again - could you please give me an advice how you have succeed to overcome the sense of guilt and have forgiven yourself and the world around this quilt and lost years? This advice would me help soooo much. Thank you.
This took place for me after I started my 9th step in AA. The 9th step is where we make amends. I no longer regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I still make mistakes, but I try to keep my house clean.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 88
i really don't consider myself happily recovered but i do struggle with the same thing...
when im feeling bad about myself and those days i try to embrace the fact that it's a new sober day & remember to be grateful that whatever mistakes i have made under the influence are in the past, and whatever mistakes i am making now i can confront with a clear head and actually get to know myself and be present in the process... im learning more about myself, along with ways of coping instead of numbing. i feel reassurance for the future.
for me that helps.
when im feeling bad about myself and those days i try to embrace the fact that it's a new sober day & remember to be grateful that whatever mistakes i have made under the influence are in the past, and whatever mistakes i am making now i can confront with a clear head and actually get to know myself and be present in the process... im learning more about myself, along with ways of coping instead of numbing. i feel reassurance for the future.
for me that helps.
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