shoreguyy1

Do you think that cursing and vulgar language should be allowed at a men's meeting just because it is all men? I find it offensive and ignorant myself for people to open and close a meeting with a prayer, on church property to curse the hour through. Does not seem very "spiritual" to me. I was taught that AA is a spiritual program so don't carry it around in a trash bag. Your thoughts and experience?

Snarf

The meetings I attend are in a clubhouse (not church) in Atlanta, and it is a very diverse group of people. Cursing occurs at nearly every meeting, and I'm talking about the big words. Probably because it's an urban environment and a great mix of people and personalities, but it's accepted with really no issues that I have seen. And personally, I've never been one to equate cursing with a lack of spirituality or religious conviction. Some of the dirtiest mouths I've known have belonged to people high up in the church. They just don't curse during service or in front of people with whom they are not very comfortable.

Freedom1990

My experience was that I needed to 'clean up' in more ways than one after I got sober. That included cussing like a sailor. That was old behavior that was not suited to my new way of life.

I consider myself very fortunate in that I am often the only woman in my small home group (tiny town of 3000), and there is never foul-mouthed language during the meeting.

Once in awhile when the guys are talking before or after the meeting, someone will drop the 'f' word. That's very rare.

CAPTAINZING2000

Some meetings i attend they mention beforehand out of respect for others leave out the profanity.

We are not saints for sure!!

Pagekeeper

It depends on the group conscience. My home group added a "please refrain from profanity" to the format. It doesn't stop people from cursing, though. But that's okay. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics; it's not to teach people how to talk. That's a personal decision each person makes for themselves.

Toronto68

Shore, I am of two minds when it comes to that. My first reaction is that no, I would not want people to use any foul language near a church (whether religious words in vain or just dirty words), and I am not even a churchgoer. Then I also remember the old saying about how sinners belong in church anyway, they're not there to start out or end up as perfect people. But my thought is that politically it is better NOT to have crappy language around there, because it is out of respect for the place that opens its doors or nearby doors for the meeting. I don't go to meetings, but if I did I would want someone to excuse themselves when they came out with bad language in that context, even if it is helpful to get out feelings. Chances are someone else thinks like you do in the meeting, unless you're saying every last one of them uses that kind of talk. Sometimes it takes one guy to speak up, and then lo and behold, 2 others feel the same way ("hey, yeah").

DayWalker

I use to go to an all men's group which was like that. Some guys in the group would curse every time they said more than two words dropping F-words in every sentence. I'm far from a prude but I never curse anywhere in public myself. To me it's really impolite/disrespectful to be talking to someone and every other word is F-this and F-that. Kind of makes me feel like that person doesn't know how to communicate in an intelligent manner if you ask me.

Steve

CAPTAINZING2000

Unlike all the clean language we were accustomed to while we were in the bars

soberinwv

I was taught that men of AA should not curse during meetings. If a newcomer is at their first meeting and are turned off by it it may be their only experience to AA.

CarolD

Never been to a Mens meeting but.....
I've been attending Aa regularly for years.
I've been to meetings in cities...towns and villages.

It's my observation that vulgarity is used mostly
by newer members or someone in personal crisis.

While I don't appreciate the language
I am there for our primary purpose....

I have cleaned up my "bar mouth" ...
sure hope others will too!

WakeUp

Shoreguy I agree with you 1000%. When you're professing to work a spiritual program, clean up the potty mouth.
I hate profane language in AA meetings.

Nevertheless

It happens where I attend at just about every meeting. It's not a church, but there is always both men and women present.
I think it is very wrong, but I told myself worry about me and know one else.

My dad was A WW2 veteran. He was known to start more than one fight for a guy dropping the F bomb in front of a lady. I'm afraid those days are gone forever. But I believe thats a lot of whats wrong with the USA today. Nobody has any backbone anymore. Just my opinion.
Fred

yeahgr8

Hmm too much swearing is just annoying, the odd word doesn't bother me, i have heard old timers do it as well as newcomers...yeah i would feel a bit uncomfortable swearing in a church enviroment but that is learned behaviour from school and parents...

I am actually quite impressed by most AA rooms i go to, i would expect much more cussing from a bunch of drunks sitting round a table!