Catchment

Hi again all,

I posted a couple days ago and have been reading posts here ever since. And I just have to say again, you guys really seem like great people

I have a little question. And if it has already been asked a thousand times here, I apologize, and feel free to direct me to any relevant thread (I'm no good at forum searching). What I'm wondering is this: a lot of people seem to have had some sudden realization, some very strong "push" from within that they were going to quit drinking for good, and that was all it took. Maybe it wasn't easy after that, but that push was what they needed to make that final attempt successful where every other had failed.

I think I need something like that too, but I'd imagine that for most people, that 'push' was something pretty big. A divorce, a DUI, a major health problem, or something else. I would desperately like to quit before any major problem occurs. I have only been drinking for about 2 years, and I fully realize that it is getting worse and that the longer I wait to quit the harder it will be, but it hasn't really caused any major problems in my life to date.

So what else can I use that will be just as powerful as a major life disaster? What has worked for other people who may have quit drinking before it really began to seriously affect their quality of life? Has just simple education about the dangers and facts about drinking been enough for anyone?

Ceres

It's a loaded question. Based entirely on the individual I'm afraid. I've been in youth centers for kids under 18 many of which walked the streets and/or lost their kids already. Too many variables. Upbringing all the way to ones IQ can effect ones outlook. Can effect their ability to feel or see reality. Those of us from dysfunctional families already have poor reality skills. We are used to living lies from a very early age. Those with upright upbringings may never be able to fully see themselves ever losing much until it's far to late.

CAPTAINZING2000

a blessing from his higher power comes to mind !!

least

How about the knowledge that quitting drinking now will AVOID such bad things happening to you? For me, my 'bottom' was mostly emotional. I wanted to stop feeling horrible, physically and mentally, and since alcohol was the cause of my discomfort, stopping drinking was the logical thing to do.

I'm not saying it was easy, cause it wasn't. I am still tempted sometimes, but am feeling so much better at four months sober I don't want to go 'back to that hell'.

I hope we can be of help to you in staying sober. It's worth the effort.

CAPTAINZING2000

I posted a thread about this with a poll.

A lot of posters put down the harm they caused to themselves. My defining moment was the hurt I was causing other people from drinking. I've got a son your age. he picked up his third DUI the other day the third one was just a month from getting his second DUI. Not sure if, any of this is from him being in Afghanistan for a year. He's not talking about it. Maybe, picking up his sgt's. body parts in a bag had something to do with it. just speculation.

Alcoholism is a strange thing. There's a story in the Big Book of Alcoholics about a gentleman that, gave up drinking to advance his career. He didn't drink again until, he reitered. Shortly after that within 3 or 4 years, he drank himself to death.

I no longer have a desire to destroy myself and make other people that love me. As sure as I pick up my next drink, this could happen.

NEOMARXIST

The realisation that jail, institutions or death were the only outcome for me and drinking. I am a hopeless alcoholic in that when I take a drink it unleashes the inner demon in me that wants me to push it right up to the limit. My thinking is just stuck in a hopeless loop ending in tears and hurt. During this my participation in 'life' goes out the window. I don't want life or anything when i take a drink but just more drunken oblivion. Nothing else matters and seems sh*t in comparison. Hard to describe.

I had material things happen like loss of job and driving bans for 2 years but they had no bearing on me getting sober. I was just done with drink and drugs. I beat myself into the ground and couldn't take the mental/emotional battering that my binges were taking me on. The only drinkers who could understand me were other alcoholics of the hopeless variety too. To be found on park benches and streets in any city. That's where booze would take me. That seems OK when I'm drinking too... Insanity.

I got out whils't I still could but I truly had enough of booze and drugs. Then the hard work started of working my recovery so I can live a sober/clean life and learn to quiten the demon down one day at a time.

I got sober at 23. I am 24 now. Grateful for my alcoholism as it's made me who I am today. I have more to offer the world than just another drunk.

I was just done with it. I milked drink and drugs for all they were worth and knew I had to surrender and let it go.

peace

CarolD

Hmm....
I have 4 young adult Grandchildren ..none drink.
2 were raised by an alcoholic/addict ...now clean and sober.
2 were never around alcohol or drugs.

Obviously 2 know first hand all about addiction and recovery.
The other 2 only know from education/media and here say.

If I found it necessary to open any young persons eyes
to the danger of alcohol and drugs......
I'd take them along to a de tox center and a homeless
shelter to do volunteer work with me.
I'd take them to the AA meetings that I attend.

I'd also be praying hard for their clarity and healing

Toronto68

Catch, it's not always "disaster" or some kind of setback that precedes the quitting. I didn't have one when I did. It wasn't a rose garden, but there had been worse things going on a long time prior to that. I even drank and behaved more aggressively or unwisely in the past. I guess it was the more recent years of feeling like I was hooked up to drinking like it was an IV - like the soul was being eliminated out of me. I'm still trying to figure it out actually, and I have never stopped drinking this long before, and don't want to drink anymore. I'm not usually that spiritual.....Sometimes I think it was a survival instinct that kicked in, like my brain (as a body part) taking control of my conscious thoughts and turning me around. I knew all along it DID make more sense not to drink. I am still pretty youthful, but I noticed I was slowing down. I also knew someone close to me that had killed himself (after relapsing, after success through AA for over 10 years); that never left my mind.

There are young people here I have read who have had rough stages that propelled them to their "grace" point, if that's the right way to put it; but also some that just want to stop or at least question, and investigate. Same with the older ones. Different patterns to the use of the drug too.

What's the same for everyone (I think) is that the alcohol was a tool of some kind for whatever reason and then a realization that it's not a friend after all. Alcohol makes a career out of the body of the alcoholic who doesn't listen and pay attention. There's a better solution! It's a sad reality for a fake happy, to me.

If you want to stop, keep reading and interacting, you'll be welcome to do much of that!

Dee74

Catchment

I had a lot of bottoms...and I drank past them all....I had one of those moments you describe but I nearly had to die to get it. I'm thinking there must be an easier way...I'm pretty stubborn when it comes to stupidity

Alcoholism is progressive. Most folk who drink like I did will end up like I did...
a lot more will die, or end up mentally checking out, before they get that 'magic moment'.

That's some pretty good motivation right there, surely Catch?

D

yeahgr8

I had one of my many bottoms, i like to call them windows of opportunity wherein various consequences of my behaviour had happened (no major disasters like your examples) at 24...i had just come back from spain after a business failing and was in an awful state emotionally.

I decided to quit alcohol, so over the coming months i got super fit, got a job, bought a very nice BMW, got a girlfriend, kept myself to myself, stayed out of bars...and changed absolutely nothing inside...so i drank again...

Point is if you are an alcoholic you may have many bottoms throughout your drinking career...had one at 21, 24 (as said), 28, 30, 34 and finally 38 when i got sober...

There are young people in AA that get in at the first 'bottom' i am very glad to say...

If you are waiting for the big bottom, enjoy the ride and if you don't die from an accident, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, various health complications or suicide you too may get sober when you get there...odds are you won't ever get sober and you will live to a ripe old age having lived a miserable and pointless existence bringing misery to everything and everyone that comes into your life...

however you could call it a day now and go to AA, get sober and have a life beyond your wildest dreams...i would say it's your choice but if you are an alcoholic like me even that is an illusion so i wish you a miracle:-)

NewMe11109

Hi-

My "push" wasn't that dramatic. It was just one day when something good happened to me. I celebrated by getting completely drunk at an airport bar and then on the plane ride home. My dad picked me up and it hit me "what the heck am I doing?" I was already an active alcoholic for probably 10 years, but this small event and my higher power, got me into recovery.

I am so grateful that I got into recovery before I had a chance to do more damage to myself and my family.

So, now the hard part for you...

No one else can tell you when you are ready, you have to decide for yourself. You can't do it for someone else, you need to get sober for yourself.

But, don't let your lack of a DUI, or going to jail, or losing a house, or losing a job be an excuse for yourself.

.. because if you are an alcoholic, and you keep drinking, eventually these things will come to you.

Read SR and you will find these stories. Go to an AA meeting and you will hear about the guy just like you who had everything and then got drunk one night and then spent the next 30 years in jail.

When you are ready, you will be ready. We all hope you will find your own bottom sooner rather than later.