I'm Ready
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Abroad
Posts: 49
I'm Ready
Does it usually take several attempts before you realise what you need to do?
I remember five years ago going into a clinic visibly shaking and nervous with a hangover and off sick from work. I'd been binging every night for six months and had trashed my body. I wanted to quit because I didn't like the hangover. I went back to drinking, avoiding being hungover at times when I needed to be "with it". I'd just have a few drinks when I was in work the following day rather than a binge.
Three years ago I decided to cut back as I had become fat, I didn't want to be the fat drinker as I had lost all confidence. I went back to drinking but irregularly and having more dry days than drinking days, avoiding drinking all the time but saving up for the weekends when I would go hell for leather at it.
A year ago I decided to cut back further as despite no hungovers at crucial times (eg, work, family events) and losing the weight, I was seemingly always unhappy, irritable until the next drinking session. I enjoyed having the few weeks off at a time and getting my life back in order - then of course I could drink again, things weren't so bad. But I couldn't enjoy things like I used to, and a few days drinking again would set me right back a year or two.
Now I feel like I don't want to drink because I just don't want to. I've done all the things I used to do while drinking and found them as much fun, and didn't leave me down, depressed, bloated for ages afterwards. I want to stay sober, confident, happy and myself.
It actually feels in a strange way that my alcoholism has got better over the last five years - of course the physical symptoms have got worse, but I'm sure my averaged intake has been gradually declining. I never hit the severe bottom, instead it has been a gradual grind down. The realisation was probably made five years ago, but I needed to learn for myself what the best way through this was, and that was just not to drink full stop.
I've noticed how when I'm not drinking, I have better friendships with better people than when I'm drinking and having drunk friendships with fellows drinkers.
I think I'm ready. Thanks to all the posters who have said words of wisdom, they do take a while to sink in but eventually they work for us.
3 days today, but not counting any more.
I remember five years ago going into a clinic visibly shaking and nervous with a hangover and off sick from work. I'd been binging every night for six months and had trashed my body. I wanted to quit because I didn't like the hangover. I went back to drinking, avoiding being hungover at times when I needed to be "with it". I'd just have a few drinks when I was in work the following day rather than a binge.
Three years ago I decided to cut back as I had become fat, I didn't want to be the fat drinker as I had lost all confidence. I went back to drinking but irregularly and having more dry days than drinking days, avoiding drinking all the time but saving up for the weekends when I would go hell for leather at it.
A year ago I decided to cut back further as despite no hungovers at crucial times (eg, work, family events) and losing the weight, I was seemingly always unhappy, irritable until the next drinking session. I enjoyed having the few weeks off at a time and getting my life back in order - then of course I could drink again, things weren't so bad. But I couldn't enjoy things like I used to, and a few days drinking again would set me right back a year or two.
Now I feel like I don't want to drink because I just don't want to. I've done all the things I used to do while drinking and found them as much fun, and didn't leave me down, depressed, bloated for ages afterwards. I want to stay sober, confident, happy and myself.
It actually feels in a strange way that my alcoholism has got better over the last five years - of course the physical symptoms have got worse, but I'm sure my averaged intake has been gradually declining. I never hit the severe bottom, instead it has been a gradual grind down. The realisation was probably made five years ago, but I needed to learn for myself what the best way through this was, and that was just not to drink full stop.
I've noticed how when I'm not drinking, I have better friendships with better people than when I'm drinking and having drunk friendships with fellows drinkers.
I think I'm ready. Thanks to all the posters who have said words of wisdom, they do take a while to sink in but eventually they work for us.
3 days today, but not counting any more.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 29
Hi Netta,
I have been attempting controlled drinking and deep down I know it isn't going to work. I like what you said about how when you aren't drinking you have better relationships. I have noticed that when I'm not drinking for even 2 days alot of things look better. I really need to get sober and remain sober. I have hope that I can. Just have a hard time turning my will and life over to the care of God.
Good luck to you and thanks for sharing!
Karen
I have been attempting controlled drinking and deep down I know it isn't going to work. I like what you said about how when you aren't drinking you have better relationships. I have noticed that when I'm not drinking for even 2 days alot of things look better. I really need to get sober and remain sober. I have hope that I can. Just have a hard time turning my will and life over to the care of God.
Good luck to you and thanks for sharing!
Karen
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
This is a damm hard thing to keep doing..No 2 ways about it ,its Revolutionary to a person mentally and physically hooked on Alcohol for a good many years...i Mean its not like givin up sugar in your tea...Or anything insignificant...its about change change an change again....Stayin one step ahead of the lure of the Alcoholic Beast..In order to remain free from its grasP..
well i guess no one said it was gonna be a breeze..stroll in the park..oh well off to bed in a mo, early rise to work in morn...will be another sober happy mornin...Really lookin forward to findin some top health again..an holdin onto longterm..good luck fellow changelings..
well i guess no one said it was gonna be a breeze..stroll in the park..oh well off to bed in a mo, early rise to work in morn...will be another sober happy mornin...Really lookin forward to findin some top health again..an holdin onto longterm..good luck fellow changelings.. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Abroad
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by CarolD 
I did have false starts on my way to
accepting my alcoholism
Do you have a plan to stay sober?
Welcome back to SR....
accepting my alcoholism
Do you have a plan to stay sober?
Welcome back to SR....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 309
Congrats on your decision to get sober! I can definitely relate to your story.
When you're done, you're done. You'll know it from your head to your toes. I use AA to stay healthy and sober. It's worked miracles in my life, but there's more than one path to sobriety.
Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress.
When you're done, you're done. You'll know it from your head to your toes. I use AA to stay healthy and sober. It's worked miracles in my life, but there's more than one path to sobriety.
Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
A good friend of mine in AA says that of the many people that come into the rooms of AA, all of us have paid the price required to get there. Few pay the price required to stay.
For an alcoholic, the booze itself will eventually take me to a place of death, or to a place of being ready to quit drinking. It's pretty much a certainty. However, being ready to quit drinking is not usually sufficient to actually quit drinking. At least not for a real alcoholic.
Becoming ready is the job of the booze. Becoming willing to do whatever it takes to recover is my job.
For an alcoholic, the booze itself will eventually take me to a place of death, or to a place of being ready to quit drinking. It's pretty much a certainty. However, being ready to quit drinking is not usually sufficient to actually quit drinking. At least not for a real alcoholic.
Becoming ready is the job of the booze. Becoming willing to do whatever it takes to recover is my job.
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