DayWalker

Hey guys, haven't posted much lately, just here and there...but wanted to post something to those that are new/early recovery that are looking for that "trick" that works to stay sober.


I'm trying not to be not keeping exact dates on how long I have been sober because I'm trying to make it just a way of life now rather than about 30 days/60days etc etc...but it's hard to not keep track so I'm around 40-45 days right now. Anyway...This is probably around the 20th-30th time I have tried to get sober over the past 15 years. But EVERY time before this I was always looking for that "trick"...How could I get sober and not have to work at it. Not have to sit in meetings, not have to have a sponsor, not have to do all that crap.

Well there's a reason this is the 20th or 30th time I've tried to get/stay sober, because I avoided all that stuff those others times. I came here a year ago trying to get sober and was going to 1 meeting a week, didn't have a sponsor, had worked the steps "somewhat" a few yrs before so figured "I don't need to work the steps again right?".

Well that's all BS and wont keep you sober. I know that from experience let me tell you.

This time around, I'm doing 3-4 meetings a week (AA & Celebrate recovery) I have a temp sponsor which turned into my "real" full time sponsor. Started re working the steps, And just thrown myself back inro an actual "program" again. And guess what, I'm half way through my 2nd month sober now and feeling great.

I guess my point of this post is this to those like me that are still 1/2 months new to this. Just because you have tried a program, don't discount doing it again. Don't look for a "trick". Get yourself in a "program" (AA...Celebrate Recovery...Life ring...Whatever you find) and work it. Because I found from many trials...you can get sober on your own, but you can't Stay sober on your own. It just don't work, our minds don't work well when left on our own

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Steve

Astro

I just posted this in the Christians forum but thought I'd share it here too. Well done on your progress, please keep walking the road of recovery with the rest of us.

I went to my first CR meeting my second day sober back in '05. The brothers welcomed me with love and open arms, but I wasn't ready to be a believer in Jesus Christ yet, I walked away and stayed sober in AA.

Recently though (Nov. '09) I started to feel "stuck" and "lifeless" in recovery, I needed something more. I had just moved back into the neighborhood where that church is, and when I walk out my front door I can see the cross on top of the worship center.....I knew where I belonged. I went back to that CR group, a few of the original guys were still there and they remembered my name, this time I was ready to accept Jesus Christ, and I feel like I'm finally home. I've been getting really active with the church, I really think this is where God wants me to be.

I still attend AA and CoDA meetings and be of service in those programs, but I'm really passionate about CR. We have monthly BBQ's, Men's Breakfasts, retreats, service opportunities, etc. Yeah, I love it!

DayWalker

Thanks Astro,

CR mettings are great aren't they? obviously you need to be a Christian to go, but when I went to my first one I was blown away by the "family" atmosphere of the meeting...guys I never meet before calling me "brother"..., people seeming really concerned about me, just a great group of people. Mixing in CR meetings with AA meetings has been a huge step forward in me staying sober.

Steve

Kerbcrawler

Finding what works,for many or most new on the journey of tryin to get sober is different for all..Many of us need to bang our heads against a brick wall a good few times...Hopefully to get the jist finally..An have some sense knocked in,i Know it must be frustrating for many AA guys here, to see a few comin unstuck again an again...Hmmm No names mentioned..but many AA Guys admit openely to tryin a whole bunch o stuff to do it likewise...Before commiting to there final plan thats worked for them..It is also a journey of exploration..And heres hoping eventually we all reach the best conclusion and manage to find the plan and stay stopped...So much support Here its Great.

Anna

That's great DayWalker!

And, I completely agree with you. I work on my recovery every day. I do yoga regularly, I walk a lot, I try to stay in a positive state of mind and to avoid getting caught up in any kind of drama and I come here to SR every day.

keithj

This is a common statement or belief from many who can not get sober. I had to consider if just maybe that belief (that I'm different from other alcoholics, that my situation is unique or special), was part of what was preventing me from true, lasting sobriety.

I looked to people who had successfully beaten alcoholism. They all seemed to believe that they were not unique, and that a common solution worked for all of them.

They assured me that they, too, once believed that they had to find their own path. They urged me to consider whether trying to do things my way was really working out all that well for me.

When I gave up trying to find my own path, and instead followed the same path that the other successful people had followed, I recovered. Just like they had.

Zencat

I had to find out the exceedingly hard way that the below quote was a truth that I barely survived to learn.

I have been blessed to have found what works, that being a personalized duel-diagnosis addiction treatment plan. But I don't work it in a vacuum. I go to a support group where others like myself have found a peaceful way to live with out harmful substances. I also combine different recovery modalities into my treatment plan. The bottom line is to be diligent in my treatment efforts. Ether I'm unique or not pails in significance to finding a path that has heart and saving grace.

Kerbcrawler

Keithj, if you dont mind me asking..How long did you struggle in tryin to stop..Before you went with the AA method? How many years had you been Drinking? From what i can see an read on here...There seems to be a very high rate of succes...Suppose you lived in such a remote community that you could not get to AA?.. or there was no AA to go to..and beleive it or not there is still some places like that! what would you do Move? for the last month have done maybe 4 nights drinkin..For me this is a monumental acheivement..To someone whos yrs free it may seem like nought..But you all had to start somewhere and often were adament to try your own ways first? why should the newbies given up be any different...those that wish to try there own ways good and proper first....That is... Hats off to all who are acheiving though.hope to be up there with you,s soon enough,

CAPTAINZING2000

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison


Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
Thomas A. Edison


I do believe, the only time you fail is when, you cease to stop trying.

tellus

Just as a counterpoint to this... (And I unequivocally did need help/a program to guide me when I was beginning recovery.) I didn't flourish in my recovery until I found my own path. I had a sponsor with a very negative attitude (you will fail unless you do what I say, unless you pray on your knees daily, etc), and after a while I found that meetings were actually aggravating my issues and making me want to go back out. And I honestly believe that I would have gone back out had I continued on that path. I left the program at six months and now am more than two years sober, and infinitely happier doing things this way. Programs do work well for many, many people, and for many they are the only way to get sober. But they are not the only way for everyone, and can potentially hurt as much as they help. I would hate for anyone who is newly sober to go back out because they think non-program sobriety isn't possible.

"What works" isn't always the same for everyone.

Bamboozle

How true. I'm coming up on a year of sobriety. I've done it with help from SR and therapy...and most importantly, in case I should forget, me.

crispringles

What I found worked for me early on was working the steps, even though I don't anymore..

Despite all I could do outside of AA (like reestablish my sense of fun w/ some normie friends, go talk to a therapist to deal with my bag of ****, wear my penciel out journaling, etc.), these types of support can't ever really compare like that of another addict.

The idea that a group of people who share the experience of recovery from addiction, all can get together and talk, often times even laugh about ourselves, was what mostly kept me going early on. I was willing, even as an atheist, to listen to what these people had to say.

My environment was crutical early on, and I needed all the support I could get. I doubt I would have made it this far had I not walked through the doors of AA. Over time (I'm 7 1/2 months now), I've lessened my focus on certain tenets of the program - but have held onto so many others that were life savers - I still actively practice letting go of resentment, work on the social selfishness, set constant goals, remain in touch with other addicts, be aware of what might trigger me at any given moment - in order to prevent relapse, etc.

I just do it without the idea that I'm carrying out God's will.

I still head into meetings here and there, but I've found a way to be active in my recovery while not getting the support from AA.

To sum it up: I HAD to be in AA at the beginning, but even as I drifted from the program, some of the stepwork I found to be critical for the psychic overhaul I had to face (and now maintain daily).

Lenina

DayWalker,

I don't know so much about tricks, for me it was a more like a click. It was a shift in my philosophy, I guess. Keep hanging in there.

Love,

Lenina

CStyle

"Rarely (i believe never) have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path"

intention

It's not at all frustrating. You may think this as you see us AAs saying the same thing over and over but this is because this is Step 12

"Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs"

Anyone who comes back into AA or hasn't quite got there yet but keeps getting unstuck, time and time again.....is welcomed with open arms at AA.

We are alcoholics. We know what it is like to be alcoholic.

Toronto68

Steve, I'm glad you like the mix of meetings, I didn't know you were doing that.

Kerbcrawler

Hi Intention how are you today? Have you been up to anything exciting? whats the weather like down your neck of the wood? Me Ahh 4th night in drink free..Had the cravings and sorts..never acted upon..As i intend not todo for today..And tommorow Ah well its a new day and will most likely get similar..That i also intend to not act upon...So pretty positive again about whats comin my way...As far as the history in stoppin and the all powerfull Alcoholic Voice..That will if i allow in weakness and become Complacent re,take control of my mind and being...see were not to far apart in how we see things...I hate to have it rammed home the whole time...Because like it or not theres a whole lot of living to be done..livings to be earned..People and situations to deal with.. CE LA VIE... anyway hope your well and happy..Me had a wonderfull afternoon on the beach picking shellfish..Not a soul in the world to see or hear...Thoughts of drinking i never even gave a thought of well till i got home and finished tea..Early eve say mostly for 2 hours have my cravings..But like you guys say after a period of strength an not giving in and staying strong hopefull they,ll subside and then can think less and less about these things...Iwant really like many to stop becoming overly obsessed with this deal of drinking...Like many..So thats me how about you? oh forgot yes am on holiday from work for all of this week...oh and my cars playin up think the clutch is shot...Took it to the garage today at the guys request,dropped it off first thing this morn..Had to get a bus like 20miles home..he aint looked at it yet..So gotta take it back tommorow do it all again...So yep on the straight and narrow once again givin it all my best shot...Knowing the shortfalls from last one night lapse...thanks for your advice. KC. sorry Intention havin half good/bad day, Best regards.

keithj

Oh, absolutely, Kerbcrawler, and I sincerely respect your right to do so as well.

I'm just trying to share my experience in the hopes that it may be of some use to you and others.

Whether or not all of the failure and demoralizing heartbrteak I experienced was part of a path to ultimate recovery, or if it was just floundering on a path that wasn't leading anywhere, is up for debate. It depends on one's perspective, I guess.

I know that when I gave up, and surrendered to the fact (of my own experience) that I didn't have a clue of how to get sober (as evidenced by my continued drinking), I became open to suggestions from those who were successful at sobriety. I did what they did and I recovered like they did. No big mystery.

Boleo

Same here. I started out looking for tricks&tips that I could use a few minutes a day or a couple hours a week that would keep me sober. It failed of course because a "program" is 24 by 7.

CStyle

Kerb,

My experience has shown me that Alcohol is merely a symptom of my disease. Until I worked on and dealt with the reasons why I drank I could not truly hope to have any amount of long term sobriety. If you are able to stop drinking on your own, my hat is off to you. The healthier that I become, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, the better I understand how much I truly need other people.