Hello Again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
Hello Again
Another question for you guys....
How many relationships do you think you destroyed with your drinking and when you look back on it, how do you feel?
Thanks all wise ones. You guys in recovery rock!
How many relationships do you think you destroyed with your drinking and when you look back on it, how do you feel?
Thanks all wise ones. You guys in recovery rock!
Hmmmm.......
The only relationship that I came close to destroying with my drinking is the one I have with myself. And that is the one I am working on now............... I have definately caused problems in a few relationships but no destruction........I thank god for that........be safe and sober tonight...xoxo
Tracy
Tracy
Don't have to think, wrote it all down in my Fourth & Eighth Steps.
How i feel about it today is irrevelant, it all happened in the past.
What i do with the knowledge of harm i caused is to make amends.
How i feel about it today is irrevelant, it all happened in the past.
What i do with the knowledge of harm i caused is to make amends.
I did a lot of damage to the relationship with my kids (all young adults) but since I've been sober the relationship has healed nicely and we get along better than we did before.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 50
I pushed my family and friends away so I could sit alone with a bottle. I treated my husband like ****, and put alcohol first for our entire marriage. I knew for years my drinking was causing a problem with us, but I always thought HE was being unreasonable and just didn't understand how hard it was for me (typical alcoholic). When I finally realized how selfish I was... well, I don't think I can describe it. Just horrible guilt and such a huge feeling of wasted time and hopelessness. I was really depressed during early recovery. I was also confused. I couldn't figure out how things had gotten so out of control, even though I had caused it. I just couldn't believe I had let things get so bad, and had no idea how to make it right. I'm very thankful for AA, because I have no idea how I could have gotten through that without their support. When I did my 4th and 5th steps and then made my amends- I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I still struggle with guilt some days. I just have to remember that I can't change the past and take it one day at a time. We are doing a lot better today. I'm very lucky
Since day 1 of my sobriety, I have been trying to live two truisms:
- I can't change the past
- I only have one life to live
It takes a lot of work but you have to make peace with the past, with yourself. I'm not fully there yet but in general life is good. I'm happy, at peace most of the time.
I have also come to reject the notion that I have "destroyed" anything. I'm just not that powerfull. Things happen for a reason and it's not all because of me and/or my drinking. Nothing has really been destroyed.
Spiritually, I believe that we all have a path to walk to get to where we are today. And it's what I do right now thats important...not what I did yesterday. Just take those bits of wisdom I've learned in my life and use them in a positive way.
- I can't change the past
- I only have one life to live
It takes a lot of work but you have to make peace with the past, with yourself. I'm not fully there yet but in general life is good. I'm happy, at peace most of the time.
I have also come to reject the notion that I have "destroyed" anything. I'm just not that powerfull. Things happen for a reason and it's not all because of me and/or my drinking. Nothing has really been destroyed.
Spiritually, I believe that we all have a path to walk to get to where we are today. And it's what I do right now thats important...not what I did yesterday. Just take those bits of wisdom I've learned in my life and use them in a positive way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
Your insight always helps!!! That makes sense, you did not destroy it, maybe it was not meant to be. We all do have our paths to follow and possibly this is a learning lesson in relationships. Some were just not meant to last whether alcoholism or anything else causes it to end.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: new zealand
Posts: 13
i have destroyed too many to count. I think one of my biggest probs was i thought haveing a girlfriend would solve all my problems and id be happy but turned out that was not the case and i kept drinking. and drinking turned me into a monster, i was a very horrible person. thankfully i can look back on those days now. the same goes for what ever friendships i had.
My drinking destroyed all relationships! During that time I didn't care,...now I'm grateful that I was able to mend the ones that mattered the most to me. But this mending took time to undo.....I believe that actions speak louder than words first I had to show I change. "Time"
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