waterface

Hi
I actually think that when you say drinking is a progressive thing, i think you mean people on here & alcoholics!!
M gp & the person at the substance abuse center say i'm not an alcoholic!, i can go without, have days away & love the clarity i have & the days away, feeling great, less toxic, i even hate drink when i'm free! I drink because of lonliness & having nothing better to do in my life, not because i need it!

That its a progressive illness is i think dubious!! I am drinking far less now than i was 2 years ago, so am wondering where i progressed to! I think i progressed to drinking less!! So thats good progress & i don't want to drink more than i did!!

I don't drink heavily on the days i drink, i just drink less, still way to much, but less & i don't drink to make up for the days i don't drink!!

This is the thing, i am loving my way that i am doing things, that i'm doing well, i'm cutting back, yet i know its still bad!!

The medical way of it all is the route for me, not AA, i been there & done that. I need antabuse meds & then i CAN't drink!! I can't wait!

This i seen here seems so invigourating!!
PM me for the link if you are interested.

As i say, i've been to AA, been down the road of getting sponsors,yada yada, & its just not me!! I need to be medically unable to drink, as i know for sure, that after a few weeks of not drinking, i will love it & not go back!! Maybe then some kind of support will be helpfull, but in the sort tern NNNOOOOO!! Medical help is all i need short term !!

barb dwyer

Good luck with that, waterface, and thanks for sharing.

Unfortunately,
there's not a single person on this site
who gets here
because they have absolute control over their drinking.

Not one person goes into recovery
treatment
counseling
or
Alcoholics Anonymous
because their lives are going wonderfully.

I'm glad you found your way.

suki44883

If you don't need it, why do you need medication to keep you from drinking? It sounds to me like you are a binge drinker. Binge drinkers can go days, weeks or sometimes months without drinking or even wanting to drink. But when they do drink, they drink way too much, just like you said you do. Maybe it's less than you have drank in the past, but you yourself said it is too much. If you aren't an alcoholic, you don't need meds to stop you from drinking.

With all due respect, your post sounds like you are trying to convince yourself more than anyone else.

waterface

I don't NEED it but i love it, i love drinking &drink to mask lonliness & anesthatise myself! I need to get out of that habit!!. I have no real friends, don't like socialising much & therefore, when i'm alone, drink is a partner!!

I have just had my last drink tonight! I have a bottle infront of me!! I don't want to open it at all!! I'm content with my fruit tea!! But i know, come Thursday, my day of allowing myself a drink, i will start it all again! This i want to stop!!

I am a binge drinker & i need to get out of that regime of drinking on the days i think i'm allowed, that i've had days of so i CAN!!, that the problem!

I think what i'm saying about Meds, is that if i'm helped by a physican & i'm under a 'contract/deal' with her/him, i can do it, but not alone or by anything spiritual or some holy book!
If i put myself in hospital or swear to do outpatient, then i can't cheat them or myself!!
I so wish it was more regimental, like i get punished for relapsing!

I have some Disulfiram here, but i don't want to take it as of yet, but i will!

CarolD

I'm glad you are keeping close to your doctors
concerning what med's you need.
That's the wisest thing for you to do...

Best of luck

shaun00

......

i dont believe an alcoholic has any element of choice in their drinking.
i do believe alcoholism is progressive.......and with me it wasnt always progressive in the physical drinking sense..

i have seen alcoholics go back to drinking.. and for a time manage to hold it together.....they appear to have the measure of it.......only for it to raise its head 6 months down the line and rip them and their families to pieces..

im not saying this is you..........but i want to put across to newcomer alcoholics in an alcoholism forum that imo alcoholics have lost the power of choice...some pursue that illusion of control to an early grave..

yeahgr8

I had to try all sorts of stuff before i was beat, you joined here 5 years ago and must have been backwards and forwards with trying to moderate or stop drinking, even if you binge just once a month...all that thinking about drinking was enough to drive me insane too!

Hope you find what you are looking for in the next 5 years:-)

Fubarcdn

I tend to agree that , In some cases, drinking is just a bad habit that needs to be broken and replaced with good habits.
Although I did not need antabuse to break my bad habit I know several people that did that have a lot more sober time than I do.
I think you should give that strategy an honest try and if that doesn't work out for you then try to come up with a different plan.
Good luck in your quest.

Lionne

I don't want to make any assumption about you or attack you in any way,but
this sounds just like me, in the past, when I thought I was still functional:

I always claimed I could moderate fairly well, but that was just as long as things went well, as long as I wasn't feeling too stressed, too lonely, too alinenated.Point is, in the end, things didn't go well at all and so binges increased both in frequency and in intensity, so for me, it was progressive. Again, I don't want to say by this that this is true for you waterface, or that you are an alcoholic.

I know I am, even if I wasn't physically dependent when I quit. Alcohol, in big quantities, messes with the mind, and exacerbates depression and feelings of loneliness, so you are probably right about totally quitting being the best choice on the long run.

Whether you want to go the medical road, is up to you, and if it works for you to stop drinking, that's great and I'm glad for you. But if you are drinking to mask feelings, I doubt that these things will go away once you stop using alcohol to numb, and you will probably have to develop better ways to deal with them . But first things first,that shouldn't keep you from trying to get sober, because with a clear head it is easier.

flutter

I used to love to drink too, and go days without drinking and feel great.. and delude myself into thinking that meant I had some sort of control. All that changed when it almost killed me and cost me everything I have in life, so I don't drink anymore.

Hope it doesn't happen to you, but if it does.. and you live through all of it, we're here, there's help.