eemag71

i mean i know I NEED to stop.

anyways, i started drinking when i was 21, it became a problem when i was 22, i'm 25 now and sort-of dating someone. i used to drink every night but got in some trouble and i now limit it to weekends. anyways, the person i'm dating hates it and despises the fact that i'd rather drink on the weekends sometimes than be with her, which is reasonable. i mean who wants to be miserable and hungover? but i've already been to rehab twice, and i don't really want to stop, but i wish i could.

Dee74

Hi eemag71

I know I couldn't stop until *I wanted to*...and I wore out two relationships until I got to that point.

I wanted both the drinking and the relationship/s - I was simply too stubborn to see that, for me, that was impossible.

I hope you prove smarter than I was.
D

Fubarcdn

I know for me I didn't want to stop drinking but I quit to save my marriage when my wife gave me an ultimatum to do so last year and have remained sober since.
It was difficult as most people tried to tell me you can only quit if you want to.
I say that if you think your girlfriend is more important than your drinking you will be able to succeed.
After I was abstinent for awhile and got out of the HABIT of drinking I found that I am much happier and my life is much better being a non drinker by the way. Go figure.
Good luck in your quest.

CarolD

I could not ....but perhaps you can.

Maybe thinking why drinking is so important to you
would be a good way to figure out what you want.
Write down the Pro's and Con's on paper...

Good to see you again..

least

I suppose it's possible, but for me I had to want to stop drinking before I could stop. It also came down to the choice of do I continue to drink until something awful happens? Or do I stop now before it's 'too late'? I am really afraid that if I start drinking again I will hit bottom and not be able to recover. I don't want to put myself in harm's way so it's best I don't drink. I hope you can find your way to recovery soon.

treeline589

As others have replied before- I couldn't stop until I was ready- trying to stop for someone else isn't going to work really well. You may stay dry for a while but eventually you will go back to alcohol- you have to want to stop and then make the changes necessary to do so

ANGELINA243

I knew I needed to stop long before I actually wanted to stop. (By then it was quite apparent to everyone how bad my addiction had become.) It wasn't a secret. I think one must have a desire--an "honest desire" to stay sober before lasting change can take place. Otherwise, you are still holding onto reservations about possibly being able to drink later on--which for any alcoholic, can be a matter of life or death. I no longer welcome death. Today--I choose life.

Sudz No More

I will add to the overwhelming response here, you have to want it. I didn't want to stop drinking for years and it didn't matter what anybody said, I simply told them I was fine and had it under control. The truth was, I was slowly poisoning myself and in denial.

It wasn't until I began to have obvious health problems from drinking that I decided to stop and wanted it for me.

nocoincidence56

It's possible you may be able to stop in such a way. I really hope so. It would spare you the pain and suffering which is inherent in prolonged and intensified drinking.

If weighing out the pro's and con's works now it could mean you have a shallow bottom which is great. For some of us that bottom is very deep in the sense of loss and suffering. Bottoms are relative to the person. There are those too whose bottom is death. They could not weigh the pro's and con's on the deepest levels of who they were and surrender. Their denial kept them blind until the end.

Hang in there! Get some more help with this.

I went through four treatment centers and a psychiatric unit before the deepest,or innermost self, finally saw the scales between pro and con shift into an area where it made ultimate sense to let go of any idea I could drink or use again... I had no more "I'm Nots" left any where within me.

There are a lot of people here ready to help in any way possible. There are untold people out there wanting to help, but remember, it is up to you to do the work. Everyone else only seek to share their experience strength and hope..............

You only have to do it "today"...

NEOMARXIST

No.

For a few days/weeks/months maybe but they will be right back where they left off once they start up again.

BP44

Until it's a problem for YOU, there isn't a problem. Sounds like it's been a problem for others in your life. 2 rehabs and now a partner who's uncomfortable. When it becomes a problem for you, let us know.

dasha

i think leasts answer is were am at.. Before you dont wake up out of that deep drink
fuelled slumber, kept kiddin and foolin myself, yeah yeah its all in hand, the convenient
tommorow i,ll sort it no probs its all in hand then of course tommorow never comes or
your all set to kick ,an a little crisis comes about which in turn becomes the green light
for hangin on another day!! and so on and so forth... All the time kidding yourself that
everythings in hand... days turn to weeks, weeks to months, months to years.... IN ONE
BIG BLURRR!!!! and were did all that time go?

coffeenut

Needing and wanting is two different things.

Until you're ready.....

Nevertheless

I think the title of your post sums it up.
You say you don't want to.
If you are an alcoholic, quitting is very difficult when you want to. So if you don't really want to quit, and you are an alcoholic, this probably isn't going to work.
I knew I had a problem and needed to quit for a long long time. It was when I'd had enough and really wanted to quit that I made it. And then it wasn't easy.
But you will never quit if you don't try. And if you plan on it don't listen to us.
For example. When it gets tough don't tell yourself (they said I probably couldn't do it so I might as well get plastered). You have to stay focused and positive all the time. If you let your guard down for an instant, you can be drunk before you knew what happened. (of course I'm sure you knew that), but if your like me. I kep't trying the same thing over and over with the same results.
Fred

Wolfchild

Knowing is not the same as believing, but it's a good start.
Why not continue to keep coming back & see what happens?

yukonm

I couldn't stop EVEN when I wanted to. Only by the grace of God, a supportive church family and the fellowship of AA was I able to stop. I have been free from both drug and drink since Aug 21, 2007. I never could have done it on my own.

Zencat

I wanted and needed to stop, yet that was nothing more that a wish without making the necessary behavioral changes where I did stop.

Pinkcuda

I don't see how anyone can stop when they don't want to.
I sure as hell didn't want to stop but it became a matter of "Wanting" to stop and "Having" to stop.
Do you want the girl or do you want to drink?
I'm sure in your case true love will prevail.

intention

Have you asked yourself why you want to carry on drinking?

Spiritual Seeker

oops dble post