Bob23

I was told very early on in sobriety that in order to stay sober, I would have to, among other things, change my thinking about what alcohol and drinking did for me. I am a twelve stepper, but I post this in the Alcoholism forum in the hope of a broader discussion with input from all corners of the recovery spectrum.

Before quitting, and before the nightmare that was the last six months of my active alcoholism, I thought of alcohol as my friend. It was always there for me, ready to help me mask and erase any unpleasant emotions, or so I thought.

I heard in a meeting once: "I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem!"

Alcoholic thinking... Pretty broad definition. But it fits me. I had it. Big time.

What are some of the actions you took, or are taking, to change your thinking about drinking?

Walter

Here's what has helped me re-align my thinking towards happiness:

Be honest with people. I think integrity is the most important part of being human. I never hide the fact that I have a drinking problem. It's part of who I am and I am not afraid to admit it.

I stopped looking to "feel better" (drinking) and started doing things to BE better.

Any aerobic exercise improves me mental health.

I lost my respect for alcohol as it turned me into a pathetic embarassment instead of the confident socializer I thought it did.

Accept depression, anger, sadness as things that are part of life and not something to be remedied with drugs.

and finally I'm starting to show the way for others around me. That it can be done.

CStyle

I was told that I could not "think" my way into a new way of "living", that I had to "live" my way into a new way of "thinking".

NewMe11109

I work hard to put a "name" to how I am feeling. I find that by identifying my emotion, then I am able to use positive and healthy thinking to manage through the situation (vs. the alcoholic thinking which always pushed me to use alcoholc to cover up the problem)

CarolD

Well.......... Early in sobriety
I wrote down all the miserable symptoms of my withdrawal
I carried it around for over a year.

Anytime my mind slipped into "Let's drink again"
I whipped it out Reality time worked well for me...

When I began my AA Steps I felt a shift
from sobriety into recovery. God and AA
changed my thinking and I no longer needed my list.

Boleo

A Doctor that I know who specializes in treating addicts and alcoholics (Addictionologist) says 100% of his patients have a "blown insight circuit" that prevents them from seeing the connection between their disease and themselves.

He believes this is why no amount of text book knowledge seems to help them. They can not connect the dots between what they learn and themselves.

I believe he is right - text book knowledge never helped me stay sober. Also it explains why a spiritual awakening is required to overcome this malady.

Stereosteveo

I couldn't change me or my thinking. If I could I wouldn't have ended up here. I can only hope to get a new perspective on things through new experiences as a result of taking some new actions.

Today I know the way I feel is not so much of a result of the thinking I've been doing, but the actions I have or haven't been taking.

coffeenut

Good thread.

In early sobriety, I read at SR to imagine your drink of choice as being something nasty. So, I imagined it to be peroxide. To this day, when I think of my 'favorite' beer, I automatically sense peroxide....odd how that works, isn't it? So, I guess I started to think of alcohol of something besides something I 'had' to have.

The more sobriety I have, the more I remember things I am so ashamed of. But now I have a choice. I never have to be that drunk again. I never have to wonder what in the hell I did. I'm safe now. I intend to stay that way.

least

I like that!


Alcohol isolated me cause I drank at home alone. Now I'm a bit more outgoing, even considering that it's 'cabin fever' season. I'm more in touch with others, even if it's just phone calls or emails. I'm allowing myself to be a social being instead of a hermit.

Overman

I was told very early on in sobriety that in order to stay sober, I would have to, among other things, change my thinking about what alcohol and drinking did for me.

Changing how one thinks about alcohol and addictive behavior is the cornerstone of SMART and other cognitive-based recovery programs.

For me, challenging distortions, recognizing 'addictive thinking', and simply becoming aware of my automatic thought responses to certain situations has played a large part in staying sober.

24hrsAday

well Bob.. i thought drinking was the way to make everything all better for years.. it worked so well it almost killed me! now i work on staying sober and making my life better a day at a time..

Stereosteveo

Here's one of the many slogans the ingeniuos wizards of the fellowship made up:

"Think through the drink!"
...ya right, my best thinking got me here.

The sign on the wall says:
Think
Think
Think

Today I know it means "If after 3 thinks I don't have the answer, move on. Ask someone who might. Pray for the answer. Open the book and look for it. Someone's already been there and done that."

Thinking hurts too much. My experience abundantly confirms this..

Overman

Steve, I would say that it wasn't your "best thinking" that led to your struggles with booze.

Gypsy Feet

I grew up in an alcoholic family. I never questioned the need for a head change daily. The first time I realized there was something out of my control I was living in fear of (at the time it was a codependent issue), and someone here on SR suggested I just let it go and give it to my higher power, my whole world changed. Now I do things like look for the next right thing, pray, feel my emotions and be thankful that I can, be grateful every day, many times a day.

I'm rambling but, I have no desire to drink. This new way life that I have been shown is so amazing, I don't want to blur an instant for the most part. And those few instances where it hurts so much a blur might come in handy, I still have no desire to drink, because I'm not giving any of this back.

Zencat

Me too. Recognizing and challenging cognitive distortions has made a lasting impression on my psyche. Just as changing my thoughts and beliefs because of my actions keeps it real for me. In active alcoholism it was the other way around for me. Because I was unwilling to change my actions I concocted a whole lot of nifty rationalizations to justify my continued drinking. For me it was no coincidence that regardless of the recovery modality I worked...failed...when I was still drinking.

McGowdog

When I drank booze, my brain got put to sleep and although I walked around in an unconscience state, I was still conscious.

So there was something else in my being that was drinking booze...beyond my mind...that needed recovery.

That's why I seek the spiritual solution of A.A.

I'm on a cell phone now. Cool, huh?

Ribeye

The Think, Think, Think sign is upside down at the meetings I go to.

I wonder who thought that one up ?

CStyle

I was told the "Think, think, think" sign was not for me.

Better stick with the "Utilize, don't analyze" sign.

McGowdog

Ribeye, you need a checkup from the neckup.

Weeza

I don't get it... it's a joke, right?

Anyways, good discussions here on thinking and drinking. In early recovery I was plagued by too much thinking and the drinking was a way for me to quiet those thoughts down.

Recently in my 18th year of recovery, my sobriety was questioned because a sponsor was in conflict with me following doctor's orders to take prescription medication. I was not abusing the medicine but my sponsor holds the view that pain medication affects alkies from the neck up so they 'go out' when taking medication even if prescribed by a doctor.

I had a bit of a head spin with beginning to try to convince myself that I had slipped and was directed by my sponsor to identify myself as a newcomer yet I struggled internally because I didn't feel this was true for me. However, I let sponsor and group tell me what was going on for me which then brought me near enough to actually slipping the moment I started rationalizing, 'well, since I'm a newcomer and haven't had a drink in eighteen years, changing my new sobriety date to tomorrow and having one drink today might let me remember what drinking felt like.'

I'm glad I didn't follow up on that slippery thought and that I had an immediate outlet like this SR board to come and post what's been going on for me these days.

Along with that slogan THINK, THINK, THINK, I've heard people share plenty about how STINKING THINKING never helped, and my recent three weeks have been a bit like that. Resentment plus isolation is a bad mix and can set a sober member up for a slip. It's one thing to be there for the sick alcoholic who's needing support by way of attention and example (sharing stories, advice) but it's another thing when some folks try to assert their views onto a vulnerable person and try to convince them that they're not doing well in their recovery despite there being knowledge of that person doing what they can to not drink nor is finding some other means to be affected from the neck up.

At some point in recovery there comes a time when those desires to drink or even think about drinking fade away. I've had the blessing from being removed of that obsession, but it took plenty of work to get there. I'm now at a point of getting ready to turn my recent serenity crisis back over to God and get back to living happy, joyous and free. And I feel this is being pressed upon me to do so because a newcomer at a meeting I met at last night asked me to sponsor her, so I'm about to leave for a meeting with her at a rehab, meet her counselor and fill out forms to be an official sponsor. What a lark!

While the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is a blessing, sometimes individuals or groups may interpret the steps that are contrary to what the steps are intended for-- like how Step 2 could be interpreted to mean that newcomers and all sober members must abstain from all medication even if prescribed by a doctor because prayer and service with diet changes and exercise can remove a 'defect of character' like physical pain from one's body. That's a load of crock.

Of course it's worth trying to go without medication, try a more homeopathic approach, but when all efforts fail to relieve one from physical pain, and medication must be taken to help one's life be manageable rather than be confined to bed, it's time to reflect on whether such drastic action like complete abstinence from medication is harmful, especially if done so to be in good standing with a sponsor or group-- that's letting others do the thinking for you... that's letting people fill the shoes as a higher power.

Since no human power can restore us to sanity, my recent experience has caused me to look at Step Two in another way in that I've been at fault for knowing in my heart that my sobriety had not been lost but I let my head get affected by those judgments from my sponsor and group, and so fell into believing that I had indeed slipped, then was going out in the world and stating identifying myself as a newcomer which made me feel like a liar inside... talk about a mind trip!

While I'm good and truthful, I've learned that I can be susceptible by the power of suggestion (conditioning) of a trusted leader (sponsor/group) and let this cause me to turn against what I know is truthful in my own conscience. So it goes back to being what this program is really all about-- self-honesty (to thine own self be true), and I can only be clear-thinking when I stick close with my loving higher power. I hope this is the message I pass on today to the newcomer I'll be meeting this afternoon at the rehab center... I'll be her friend, help her with her steps, but take care to not judge her or tell her how to live her life.

On a happier note, last night while in chat a sober friend passed me on a funny video of Craig Ferguson sharing about his fifteen years free from alcohol-- it's all about how he has a problem with thinking and not drinking, and I identify a lot with his message. Here's the link, hope you enjoy:

YouTube - Ferguson Speaks From The Heart